Thank you for your wonderful news site, which I enjoy immensely. As I have read some insightful hashkafic discussions here on Matzav.com, I’d like to share a brief question I have had, which I believe is relevant now as we approach the Yom Hadin of Rosh Hashanah. Perhaps your readers can shed some light on this.
In short, my question is as follows. If I sin, if I commit an aveirah, why is that not indicative of a total lack of emunah and bitachon on my part? Or is it? That is, if I believe, with total faith, in the Ribono Shel Olam and His Torah, how can I possibly go ahead and commit an aveirah? Obviously, I am not talking about where someone does an aveirah by mistake. I am talking about where someone finds it too difficult to adhere to a certain halacha or to refrain from a certain aveirah because his yeitzer harah overpowers him. If a person truly believes in the Ribono Shel Olam, how could he ever commit an aveirah?
Let me give a moshol. We all know that if a person walks in front of a bus that is moving at 60 mph, he will likely get killed. At best, he’ll be severely injured. We know it. There’s no question about it. No one in their right mind would walk in front of a moving bus, because they believe and know that it will harm them or kill them. Now, let us say that there was a tremendous amount of money, or some other desirable thing, on a highway, and a person’s only opportunity to retrieve that money or item is just as a large bus is going to be zooming by at 70 mph. Is there any chance that the person will walk in front of the bus? Not a chance. One knows that doing so will automatically cause him harm, and no amount of money will convince him to put himself in harm’s way.
Applying this to our discussion, if we truly believed that disobeying the Torah does us harm – no less than walking in front of a moving bus – then why isn’t committing an aveirah and ignoring a mitzvah an indication of a lack of belief? After all, if we truly believed – just like we truly know that a moving bus will kill – would we ever let our desires overpower our seichel?
I know some Matzav.com readers might read this letter and laugh it off. But I am asking a serious emunah and bitachon question that might be bothering others as well. (There’s a whole other issue of what the difference between emunah and bitachon is. I don’t know the answer to that either.)
Any insight into my question here would be greatly appreciated. (And if you feel my analogy to the moving bus is not a good one, my question can be considered without the analogy too.)
A Matzav.com Fan