Father Who Forgot Daughter In Car: ‘My Heart Is Broken Into Pieces’

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R’ Yedidya Feldman, whose daughter, Chana Rina, aged one year and four months, died on Erev Shabbos after being forgotten in a car by her father for about 90 minutes in the city of Beitar Illit, described yesterday the feelings of guilt that overwhelm him from day to day.

“I have waves of a constant storm of emotions. There’s a constant battle between the brain and emotion. The heart speaks of deep feelings of guilt, the heart is exploding and is shattered, but the brain understands that this is a human failure that can happen to anyone, and is ingrained in all of us,” Yedidya told Ynet News.

“These struggles are difficult for me,” he continued. “They moves between the life that was taken from me to the new life – and I want to go on for the sake of my wife and children. I have unbearable feelings of guilt in me that scream to the skies. I very much hope that in the struggles between the pained heart and the brain that tells (us) to go on and bring about new life, the brain will win.

“I remember after the levayah I saw the comments the were written, and some were very severe,” Feldman said. “Without the family’s support, I would not have made it through those days. I owe them a lot.

“I have taken on, privately and publicly, the task of dealing with the matter and leading an effort to pass legislation. Divine providence has brought this tragedy upon me and forced me to act on the matter in the face of society.”

 

{Matzav.com Israel}

20 COMMENTS

  1. there is NO excuse for any more of these preventable tragedies. folks, check your entire vehicle before you lock and leave it!

  2. Very simple, If EVERYONE adopted the left shoe trick, this wouldnt happen. Before you start the engine, remove your left shoe and put it by the car seat. You can easily drive without your left shoe and when you leave the car you will immediately be reminded to get your shoe, and your child. This is out of proportion and we must put an end to the needless and tragic loss of precious children. We must make it a priority.

  3. Why do we have to read this? This is what the Liberal media loves to do with the parents of Palestinian terrorists. They interview the mother of the killer about their “feelings” and how the rest of the family are “coping” with their “loss”. I’m not comparing the 2. Chas vishalom! This was an avoidable tragedy and one definitely needs strength to continue living a productive life. One has to be in constant contact with pure daas Torah. This is not something that should be aired in public. Im not judging him. I’m only questioning Matzav’s decision to report this as news.

  4. “I remember after the levayah I saw the comments the were written, and some were very severe,” Feldman said.”

    This so sad , how people can be so senseless and heartless, its enough what he is going through. Its a pain that is we can not fathom…accidents happen no matter how careful you are!

    Perhaps they should design some car seat buckle that has an alarm sensor when you stop the motor, similar to regular ‘fasten your seat belt buckles”?

  5. Per Chavie, I like the shoe trick. I remember once parking at the curb and running in to a store which only took 60 seconds. After I got back I remember my new born daughter in the back seat and tried to devise tactics to make sure I never forgot like that again. The shoe trick is better than anything I came up with. To anonymous: excuse or not, it can happen and it isn’t by intent. At some point cars may build in features to ensure this never happens but I didn’t see you suggesting any solutions and only making the blanket statement that it is avoidable. Good for you.

  6. …although there’s no excuse to leave a child locked in a car, it’s still a tremendous rachmanus on this guy. How can one get past such a thing and live with that guilt? Nebach.

  7. Take your kid with you ALWAYS, never leave anyone in the car at any time. Even teens.
    Talk to your kids while you’re driving.

  8. They should change the law (and design cars) so that the car seat should have to be in the front passenger seat. As it stands now it is discouraged if not illegal to have an infant seat in the front. If there are two adults it is ok to leave in the back as obviously much less likely to forget.

  9. The idea of publicising this is obviously to bring home the issue and thereby try to prevent further tragedies. Well done Matzav

  10. To Chavie – it seems simple, but if you’re a man with lace-up shoes or a sneaker-wearer, it’s not all that simple. Some of us go in and out of the car many times a day with children, and to keep unlacing and lacing shoes is not practical.

    For women, an easier option is to leave your pocketbook by the car seat. For men, it can be their hat or jacket (which are anyway removed when driving) by the car seat. But realistically, just as most modern cars beep when a front seat is occupied but not belted, and your bluetooth beeps a welcome and goodbye when you power the engine on and off, the car seats should come with a beeping mechanism that will also ring/beep when occupied and you shut the motor.

  11. Someone sent me a clip with a brilliant, simple and cheap idea and you can leave your shoes on! It takes one extra simple step before starting your car. All you need is a plastic coil cord stretch key chain with the hook side attached to your car keys plus a stroller hook that’s attached to your child’s car seat. When you put the key in the ignition, pull the coil and slip the ring side of your coil key chain into the stroller hook on the car seat. You need do this every single time so it’s a habit, whether there’s a child in the car or not. When you finish your drive and take the key out of the ignition, the coil will pull your keys back to the car seat hook to which it’s attached and you will not forget your child in it. Spread this idea around!

  12. People are overwhelmed. I am not minimizing the terrible negligence of this father, nor did I ever leave a child in the car seat; in fact, children or not, I drive barefoot (it saves gasoline BTW) and I keep at least one window partially open. But you have to be in some people’s position to understand. People have B”H many children, and also many worries, deadlines, rushes, chores and grocery shopping, picking up children and dropping them off, being interrupted, and in the meantime trying to earn a living and last in the list but first of all, learning. One’s mind is somewhere else, one is unsure which child should be picked up from where or has already been, and one is exhausted. I don’t know how this exactly can be addressed and I don’t think there is a magic solution. I do think we should have some rachmanus on this father, we can not change the past and the tragic event, hopefully he will be able to make some constructive suggestion. If not, at least he’ll be a father to his other children. It does not help to write severe comments.

  13. Another Terutz- You write: “Take your kid with you ALWAYS, never leave anyone in the car at any time. Even teens……”
    Could you explain how you think that your teens are not safe if you leave them in the car? We don’t have to overreact in an unreasonable way. Do you really think that your teens can get “locked in” the car and would be in danger????

  14. This is a terrible tragedy, but just to keep the facts straight:
    My husband knows the father and this wasn’t a straight case of forgetting the child. The father had made arrangements with his kids that he was going to park the car and they were going to take the baby out. There was some kind of misunderstanding as to who or when this was supposed to happen, and the misunderstanding led to this terrible tragedy.
    May Hashem comfort this family and all others who have suffered losses and may we know no more of them!

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