Gedolei Eretz Yisroel: Don’t Stop Bochurim Who Wish to Enter Shidduchim Younger


shidduch letterGedolei Eretz Yisroel, Rav Aharon Leib Shteinman, Rav Chaim Kanievsky and Rav Gershon Edelstein, have signed a letter stating that those boys who wish to marry at a younger age should not be discouraged from doing so.

Until now, bochurim in the Yeshiva Torah world have generally entered shidduchim at age 22-23. [Rav Chaim Kanievsky, though, has long encouraged his grandchildren to marry at 18.]

In the past, Maran Rav Elazar Shach zt”l was strongly opposed to boys marrying at a young age. In fact, certain yeshivos asked bochurim who got engaged at a young age to find a different yeshiva to learn in.

Now, however, the gedolim have issued a letter supporting those who wish to marry younger. However, the letter is very carefully worded. It states as follows: “Chazal say Shemoneh Esrei l’chupah, and thus did we conduct ourselves in earlier times. However, due to various reasons, many bnei Torah postponed the time of marriage. Now, though, we have merited that these reasons are no longer prevalent, and there are many bnei Torah who have married at a young age, and they have seen success in Torah [learning]… Therefore, it is not correct to advise [bochurim] to postpone the time of marriage for those who wish to marry at a younger age, and surely it is assur to prevent those who wish to do so.” Israel learned that Rav Gershon Edelstein closely scrutinized the language of the letter before approving it. After he signed it, it was signed by Rav Shteinman and Rav Kanievsky.

The letter does not outrightly say that bochurim should enter shidduchim earlier than they have been, but, rather, that those who wish to enter shidduchim younger should not be stopped from doing so.

{ Israel}


  1. B”H the einei haida are not subject to the agenda of others. They don’t promote entering shidduchim earlier rather state not to discourage those for whom it is suited.
    In the zechus of following the Gedolim may all those in the need of Shidduchim find them at the appropriate time.

  2. “The letter does not outrightly say that bochurim should enter shidduchim earlier than they have been, but, rather, that those who wish to enter shidduchim younger should not be stopped from doing so.”

    Exactly. So that nonsense we were hearing from a particular organization that was trying to force bachurim to marry early, HAS NO FOUNDING IN DAAS TORAH!!!

  3. In Chassidishe circles there’s no dating and they marry around 19-20, Do they have higher divorce rate? No!!
    the whole dating business never existed in klal yisroel its an American mushagas

  4. So b’kitzur, the Gedolim stated that it’s assur for bochurim to get married young. It says so b’feirush in the letter. See? It doesn’t say anywhere that they encourage bochyim to get married young. (I’m being sarcastic, just by the way, to bring out a point.)

  5. Marry younger? What so they divorce sooner?how is that a solution to the shidduch crisis? The problem is in the 70s people of opposite gender had opportunities to socialize and meet someone of compatibility. They didnt outsource that job to shadchanim who don’t match based on compatibility.

  6. Help,
    The whole dating thing did exist in judiasm. The 50s-70s the majority of if not almost all dated to find a match. Dont rewrite history because of your ignorance! Calling it an american mishagas is nonsense because everyone did it therefore thers precedent!