Heart Wrenching: Avrohom Klein Talks About The Life Of His Daughter Malki A”H

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5 COMMENTS

  1. So moving and so educational.
    I would like to share this with others (particularly mechanchos) who don’t have internet access. Is there any way this can be accessed by phone?
    Thank you.

  2. I am a person that was left back a grade 20 years ago. Just because I wasent acedimcaly interested and it still bothers me to this very day.I am 35 years old now and I am by nature a resilient boy back then but I still remember the feeling of being left back while all my friends went up I think it’s the most cruel thing you Can do to a student and when. I heard the fu did I cry when I heard the story I cried many times for malky cuz I know the feeling.
    Boruch hashem somone is conning out and speaking about it to try to save a neshama.
    I think we can add a lot of mechanchim to the chazal of “rov rofim legehenom”.
    May mall is neshama have an aliyah

  3. Thanks. I meant: Perhaps this amazing interview is available, or can be made available, via phone recording, so that those without internet can just dial a phone number to listen to it.
    I think that would be very helpful and can accomplish a lot.

  4. This was so heartbreaking. We all listened to Malki’s father and cried for the lovely person Malki was and could have become, we cried for her amazing, loving family – such brave people. Principals, mechanchim and parents – we all should be quaking in our boots to ensure that we never have blood on our hands. But the truth is that showing educators the damage they cause is not enough and the entire blame can’t be placed on their shoulders. It’s a societal problem. Yes – all that pain she suffered at their hands was excruciating, but it wasn’t the only source of her agony. Even had that 2nd grade teacher not shamed Malki so cruelly in front of the whole class, even had Malki been accepted right away to the high school of her choice and had felt welcome there for as long as she herself wanted to be there, the core problem would not be addressed. Malki’s anguish was feeling stupid as compared to her family and to her classmates regardless of the school’s attitude. She felt worthless not only because of the rejection, but because she rejected her own value and that itself made her feel miserable. We all need to know and value different types of abilities or what’s known as multiple intelligences. We need to ensure that our respect is conveyed to people of every type of intelligence including those who consider themselves academic failures because they lack the type of intelligence needed to be successful at school but may be generously endowed with many types of intelligences with which they can lead extremely successful lives – social intelligence, emotional intelligence, spatial intelligence, language, music, art, movement, etc.
    This famous parable says it all – you probably know it, but it’s worth rereading:
    The Animal School: A Parable
    Once upon a time the animals decided they must do something decisive to meet the increasing complexity of their society. They held a meeting and finally decided to organize a school. The curriculum consisted of running, swimming and flying. Since these were the basic behaviors of most animals, they decided that all the students should take all of the subjects.

    The duck proved to be excellent at swimming, better in fact than his teacher. He also did well in flying, but he proved to be very poor in running. Since he was poor in this subject he was made to stay after school to practice it and even had to drop swimming in order to get more time in which to practice running. He was kept at this poorest subject until his webbed feet were so badly damaged that he became only average at swimming. But average was acceptable in the school so nobody worried about that – except the duck.

    The rabbit started at the top of his class in running, but finally had a nervous breakdown because of so much make-up time in swimming – a subject he hated.

    The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed psychological blocking in flying class when the teacher insisted he start from the ground instead of from the tops of the trees. He was kept at attempting to fly until he became muscle bound – and received a C in climbing and a D in running.

    The eagle was the school’s worst discipline problem, in climbing class he beat all of the others to the top of the tree used for examination purposes in this subject, but he insisted on using his own method of getting there.

    The gophers of course, stayed out of the school and fought the tax levied for education because digging was not included in the curriculum. They apprenticed their children to the badger and later joined the ground hogs and eventually started a private school offering alternative education.
    End

    Yes – there are plenty of children who can manage in the cookie cutter educational system because they have the specific intelligence needed for most school subjects. But what of those like Malki who don’t, but are brilliant in the areas of their own unique gifts? Why should she feel stupid if she struggles scholastically when she could have been a high-end interior designer or a wonderful wife and mother who channels her outstanding sensitivity to the needs of others and her creative energy in her own home? Why should an ADHD child feel like s/he’s BAD because he can’t sit still for long periods of time? I was one of those kids – kicked out numerous times a day, but managed because I excelled scholastically. After many, many decades I still remember humiliating comments made in front of the class about my disorganization just like Malki never forgot her 2nd grade teacher’s remark. I honestly don’t know what the solution is, but somehow, the message of that parable has to be gotten across to all of us, including kids whose brilliant abilities don’t shine in the school system. We need to internalize that Hashem gave each of us a perfect, brilliant neshama and gifted every person with many talents. Our chinuch system is seriously flawed most likely due to financial constrainst rather than malice. The academic curriculum is only geared to certain types of cognitive abilities. To summarize: How to we get the message out that it is false to think that those who excel in these areas are ‘smart’ and those who weak in these specific areas are ‘dumb’? And how do we adapt the system and societal attitude to match reality? Malki did not lack deep thought or understanding. She was brilliant in areas that many others are weak – areas that are MORE important when measured by Torah values. There are people challenged with poor social skills and seem to be insensitive. That’s really tough – but are they ‘bad’? Hashem gave each person the exact talents he needs to fulfull his tafkid. We as a society need to show respect and appreciate for all types of talents and EVERYONE needs to feel that he has a place in Hashem’s world and is valued by our tzibbur. I’d like to suggest that the beginning of a solution is early diagnosis – but not just a partial picture pointing out weak spots, but also discovering and shedding the spotlight on the child’s unique gifts. The next step is enabling each person to be a success ‘al pi darko’ utilizing the strengths and finding tactics to strengthen those weak areas that are worth investing in. We can’t force a rabbit to learn to swim by saying ‘Tyr harder’. Let’s not break our kids by trying to force them into the cookie mold. Rabbi Klein – may Hashem comfort you and your special family – you are such gibborim. You opened your deepest pain to the public in order to help other children. I am sure this open discussion with help move things. You have the motivation to bring about change. If this happens, Mashiach will surely come.

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