Have you ever tried to feed a fed horse?
Come home with a big paycheck and thought, “Man, I really brought home the bagels today!”?
Or just . . . taken the flower by the thorns?
Those, according to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are the types of idioms humans should be using instead of “anti-animal language” – phrases like “beat a dead horse” or “take the bull by the horns.”
The high-profile animal rights nonprofit tweeted a simple chart in an effort to help people “remove speciesism from your daily conversations.”
Don’t say “kill two birds with one stone,” the group advised. Instead, try “feed two birds with one scone.”
Don’t “be the guinea pig.” Be . . . the test tube.
“Words matter, and as our understanding of social justice evolves, our language evolves along with it,” tweeted PETA, which has a history of provocative campaigns,
The chart of alternative idioms was accepted by humans online about as well as you might imagine.
Which is to say, not at all.
Immediately, Twitter users declared that PETA had truly “jumped the shark” this time.
Didn’t the group have bigger fish to fry? many asked.
“Well, this just looks like they are trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear,” Twitter user Allyson Paynter replied.
(c) 2018, The Washington Post · Amy B Wang