Limbaugh Launches His Own Brand Of Patriotic Iced Tea

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limbaugh-teaNow we know what devoted Tea Party members will be drinking at their summer barbecues. Radio host Rush Limbaugh today revealed he is launching his very own brand of iced tea. Fed up of trying to fight the current ‘oppressive regime’ on the airwaves, the  presenter hopes he can take make his mark on America with a patriotic beverage instead.

Emblazoned with a picture of Limbaugh dressed in full colonial costume, ‘Two If By Tea’ takes its name from Longfellow’s famous poem, Paul Revere’s Last Ride, about the arrival of British troops during the War of Independence.

According to its website, the tea represents ‘traditional American values of capitalism and the pursuit of excellence’, and each bottle ‘is designed to rise above the sameness and mediocrity that threatens our great nation.’

Limbaugh announced the unexpected new sideline halfway through his show this morning, saying: ‘There I am in all of my glory on every bottle on the shrink wrap…as Rush Revere. The liberals are coming, folks!’

He urged his listeners to go online and fork out $23.76 for a 12 pack.

He said: ‘You are going to want to chug it and you are going to regret you didn’t order more after you taste it.’

Following a long line of new product promoters, he told listeners: ‘It tastes just like my mother used to make iced tea when I was growing up.’

And he didn’t just put himself on the label – according to his website, Limbaugh went through dozens of blind tasting sessions and is now an accredited tea tasting specialist.

It comes in original and raspberry flavours, and both are available in low-calorie versions.

But he reassures dieters: ‘you still get a dose of pure Americana in every single drop you taste.’

A percentage of every sale will go to the Marine Corps Law Enforcement Foundation, a charity which helps the children of servicemen who died in combat.

He said: ‘I wanted to demonstrate that even in this economy, with an oppressive regime like the one we have standing in the way of economic growth that it can still happen with ambition and with ingenuity and with desire.’

{Daily Mail/Matzav.com Newscenter}


31 COMMENTS

  1. Limbaugh may indeed be able to slake my thirst, but I sadly must report that he cannot sate my yearning for intelligent conversation. Thanks. I may indeed buy your drink someday. But your program still doesnt sell to any liberal minded democratic leaning American unless we just want to humor ourselves with the parody of the right.

  2. The Poem is not Revere’s Last Stand
    It is Custer’s Last Stand
    Revere’s Midnight Ride.

    Just sticking up for my colleague, Longfellow.

    PS. Maybe they can sell the tea however at Custer’s Last (Ice Tea) Stand!

  3. who cares one way or another his pocket will fill with money. While we must have his kosher drink. Come on do we really need every latest item?

  4. Of course his radio show doesn’t sell to any “liberal minded democratic leaning American.” Liberals cant think for themselves and they cant understand what others are saying if it doesnt match their liberalism. Liberalism is a religion which is why they are always pushing their “competition” aka GOD HIMSELF out of the picture.

  5. I asked trough the Two if by tea website if its Kosher, they supposedly answer within 24 hours but somehow it takes them months to figure this one out

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