Miss-Information…

18

shidduchimBy M. Y. Weiss

As Purim fast approaches,

I just wanted to say,

A message about costumes,

In a little Purim play…

 

“I’m calling from the palace,

For information – can you tell?

We’re looking into Esther…”

“Oh, sure! I know her well.”

 

“What would you like to know?

Perhaps some questions you can ask…”

“Of course, you see, the list is long,

So this is quite a task!”

 

“Can you tell me what she’s like?

Describe her please to me…”

“She is so kind, a Baalas Chessed,

Her Middos exemplary!”

 

“That’s nice, but that’s not what I meant.”

The caller simply told her,

“Is she pretty?”

“Beauty lies,

in the eyes of the beholder…”

 

“Okay… well then I guess,

That that will have to wait,

Bu t tell me about what she wears,

Are her clothing up to date?”

 

“Her clothing? She is neat and clean,

They are not torn or old…

But more importantly you see,

She has a heart of gold!”

 

“But tell me please,

What does she wear?

I’m sure she is a pearl…”

“Clothing! Yes, I do believe,

Like any normal girl!”

 

Normal! Oh that’s good to hear!

You had me kind of scared…

I mean so far you made her sound,

I guess… a little weird…”

 

“So tell me honestly,

Does she wear flats or heels?”

“I cannot say I’ve ever looked…

I don’t think she wears wheels!”

 

“I hope that I’ve been helpful,

But you see I have to go,

Before I do, here’s my advice,

That costume’s just a show!”

 

“True beauty lies within…

The outside is just a trick!

So perhaps you should look deeper,

As you try to find your pick…”

{MY Weiss-Matzav.com Newscenter}

18 COMMENTS

  1. Speaking as a shadchan for 15 years…it’s all good and well on paper.The truth is that I am just about contemplating getting out of this business…for exactly that reason. The priorities are totally messed up!!!!! Nobody is interested in the “keren”….I don’t get past first base with anyone. The shidduch is “out” before it ever gets a chance to be “in”!!!!!Yichus, money,apartments, living areas (Oh no…I won’t let my kids go to B.P. wmsbg…wherever!) height, balabatish! everything else…but not the boy or girl in question. It’s all a facade…it’s all about “let me be impressed”..let the name ring a bell…let me get butterflies in my stomach…it’s nothing about “what kind of middos does she or he have…how mentchlich are they etc. etc. The important things in life and in marriage are TOTALLY OVERLOOKED!!!!!
    Please….don’t tell me you are desperate for a shidduch. You want to marry your child. You do not! You never ask any questions that are relevant to “a shidduch”….so….keep waiting for the next shadchan to call and sell them your balony….because I’m contemplating quitting…and so are most of my friends in the business(so called professionals)

  2. To no. 3 awesome: I CALLED UP A MOTHER LAST WEEK TO LOOK INTO THIS CERTAIN GIRL: AFTER 2 WEEKS OF LOOKING INTO, AS THE SAYING GOES; SHE CALLED ME BACK AND AND ASKED ME IF I CAN TELL HER WHERE THE BROTHERS OF THE GIRL LEARNT, CAUSE THE HOME MAY NOT BE TO YESHIVASH FOR HER SON; I SAID WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE; IT JUST SO HAPPENS THESE BOYS ARE ROSH CHABUROS IN ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGES YESHIVOS IN AMERICA; AS YOU SAID THE QUESTIONS THEY ARE ASKING DON’T EVEN PERTAIN TO THE GIRL ITS ALL ABOUT THEM; DON’T LEAVE THIS IMPORTANT WORK THAT YOU DO; SOUNDS LIKE YOUR FROM THE FEW WHO DO CARE

  3. #9 anon – you are wrong. CHAZAL tell us to look at a girls brothers before considering marrying her.

  4. To #12 & 16, Not when you know that the Brothers are practically Rosh Yeshivos, and giving Chaburos to 100’s of Talmidim, where they went to yeshivos almost 15 years ago doesn’t realy matter?????

  5. There was a story in the Yated a few weeks ago, Rabbi Brezak’s column, about someone who went to IIRC Rav Shach about a shidduch, as there was an OTD brother. Rav Shach said, that the chazal was referring to middos, so not a concern.
    Then this person asked, but think of the tzaar he’s bringing his parents; where are the middos? To which Rav Shach said something to the effect that the nisyonos and pull are ovwerwhelming, this should not be a factor in the shidduch.
    And I think the upshot was they got married and are grandparents already.

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