Obituary by a Yale Rabbi


shmully-hechtBy Rabbi Shmully Hecht

The Oslo Accords died around October 11th after a lifetime of wretched illnesses. Born to great fanfare, Oslo never lived up to the messianic expectations set by the many mid-wives who attended and promoted the birth, televised around the world and viewed by billions. Just 17 years old, The exact time and cause of death is yet to be determined but Oslo was allegedly murdered by an acute allergy to the reality of Israel as a Jewish State; a recognition demanded by current Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu and rejected by Palestinian negotiators.

Next-of-kin include President Bill and Secretary Hillary Clinton, Ambassador Dennis Ross, Senator George Mitchell and international sage Thomas Friedman. Mourners are counted on all continents in the millions, some of whom are urging doctors to continue life support and, among the most fanatic, even cryogenic techniques to preserve the dead body for later revival.

In lieu of flowers, condolence cards can be sent to the families of the upwards of 8,000 people who have died in an ongoing conflict which, despite the trumped up promise, was never solved by the young, and now forever gone, Oslo Accords. Additionally, contributions may be sent to the hundreds of Jewish families driven from their homes in Gaza, only to witness their yards emerge as rocket launching grounds for terrorists dedicated to murdering innocent Israelis.

{Rabbi Shmully}


  1. You made no mention of the three clowns who won the Nobel prize for “peace” for enacting the Oslo Accords: Yasser Arafat, Y. Rabin, and S. Peres, or the mother of all clowns, Yossi Beilin.