“The Age Gap in Shidduchim” – The Video


age-gap-small[Video below.] This past Thursday, at the Agudah Convention, the NASI Project made a presentation regarding the “Age Gap” and the current shidduch crisis. Below is a three-minute video portion of the presentation.

First, we provide a brief synopsis of the presentation:

A recently conducted census of total number of married alumni from 20 Bais Yaakov high schools across North America yielded the following staggering numbers.

Of 5,312 graduates from the years 1998-2003 [girls who are now 25 (2003) to 29 (1998)], 735 girls or 14% are still single.

Rabbonim agree that a single major factor is the fact that there is a large age gap between the boy and girl dating populations. (See the video for a clear explanation how that creates a shidduch crisis.) Clearly, closing the age gap between the boys and the girls can bring a resolution to this problem.

Among the various suggestions put forth to close the age gap and bring an end to this crisis are:

1. Bring Our Boys Home. Encourage boys to return from Eretz Yisroel slightly earlier. If the boys who go to Eretz Yisroel post-bais medrash in American yeshivos would stay for a year or 3/4 of a year instead of a year and a half, it would make a big difference, because since boys generally start dating upon their return to America, they would be dating earlier, automatically being closer in age to the “younger” girl whom he would date.

2. Adjusting the “freezer” rule, so that when Tu B’Shevat comes, the freezer opens only for boys dating girls 21 and over. The boys who want to date younger girls would remain in the freezer until Pesach.

Discussions ensued regarding the many advantages of marrying a slightly older girl/a girl closer in age, including additional financial security and independence.

The response from the session was positive. More importantly, the awareness equals more readiness for the implementation of the necessary minor structural changes.

To watch the three-minute video presentation, click below:

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{Noam Amdurski-Matzav.com Newscenter}


  1. These are Old news (& bad news too!).
    Here some New news (and good ones too!):

    When all my friends got married, over thirty years ago, their respective wives were willing to take WORKING boys.
    We all raised “toiredike” homes with children in Kollel.
    What does this mean for today?
    Today there is 8 learning boys for every 10 girls who want “Kollel Boys”.
    2 out of 10 boys are “old timers”.They are working boys. Good boys, frum boys, but just kovea itim. They are getting older & looking to get married.
    Why are they not part of the Bays Yaakov shidduchim scene?
    (I know why, but I’m not going to write about it).
    The age gap is only 50% of the problem.
    The other 50% of the problem is the lack of vision of our Mechanchos!
    OK, I did write about it.
    Sorry, folks.
    I’m now running for my life!

  2. How much do we have to hear about this shidduchim garbage.
    1. The askanim don’t want to solve it otherwise it would be solved.
    2.Girls don’t want to get married they are young rotten brats
    3. Bochorim simply want to have fun
    4. Best proof. Why don’t they check whats working by the chassidim. This is not one of the problems they have. There aren’t more divorces and sholom bayis problems by them then by us.
    5. The only thing shidduchim tele-conferencing is going to accomplish is boys will be able to reject 3 girls in one night.
    6. Boys will ruin the lives and gossip about more girls and hurt them.

    Stop going around and making everyone sick with this never ending parsha.

  3. If all thegirls that are single couldn’t get dates than this suggestion would solve the problem. This is,however, not so many older girls have been dating tens of boys and none matched up to their or their parents expectation. As long this evil is not corrected, trying to close the gap will only create a crisis among boys as well. Unfortunately, people have today unrealistic expectations in shiduchim. This point should be addressed first. Than we can deal with the statistics

  4. #1 i cant agree more!!its a big part the girls problem too.they have to be more honest with themselves.i think waiting a year after sem to date,will solve ALOT of the problem.

  5. The question is, were these points brought up by the hamon am, debated up or down, and maybe embraced and endorsed by gedolim (and which ones)?

    I don’t like setting an arbitrary cut off date for boys learning in E”Y. Learning should be a more organic process. (Check out articles by R’ Avraham Birnbaum, Jonathan Rosenblum and others.)

    I appreciate that age is a significant factor. I won’t contradict a good few dozen gedolim. But it’s not the only factor, and the others have to be taken into consideration too.

  6. it is about time to understand that if a boy is actually WORKING he should be praised and held up as the IDEAL to be copied, not the Nebbach Case 🙁

  7. This whole argument and discussion is silly because it shows just how little math education the people making these presentations have.
    If there are a relatively equal number of boys and girls being born each year, then WHO ARE ALL THE BOYS MARRYING if there are so many more single girls???
    There are less chassidish girls single b/c they are willing to look at working boys. (playing yiddle’s fiddle here…)
    The trick is not marrying them off younger (and less solvent), but teaching them to be realistic in their life goals!
    Working boys CAN BE Torah boy.

  8. Glad you think the pain of the Shidduch issue is “garbage”. For those in Klal Yisrael who are suffering, it doesn’t seem like efforts to ameliorate the problem are “garbage”.

    And, I guess you don’t “want to solve the problem” because “if you would want to, you would have”. No? Oh, you’re not “powerful” enough? That’s a “garbage” excuse- no one appointed these askonim, and whatever they do is chessed to Klal Yisrael- they aren’t getting paid and they aren’t hired by you.

    So nu, why don’t you join them? I’m sure they would love to have an “askan colleague” who can get the job done so long as he “wants to”. We can use some miracle workers like you- don’t you care about Klal Yisrael? Oh, you do? Well, I give you a grand welcome to our newest askan! As part of your initiation ceremony, you will pledge to give up your utter disregard for the pain of others, and will no longer term as “garbage” efforts of your fellow askanim. After all, you’re too busy solving all the problems instantly, because you “want to”!!!

  9. I just met two girls from another town this weekend. They are sisters- one is 22 and one is 24. I was told that there is no money in that family to marry off their daughters – as far as support for kollel. That is a great part of the problem, that parents are in chinuch and have barely enough funds to raise their families and then have to cough up $1,000 monthly or more for support or there is nothing to talk about!
    Is there anything NASI could do to be an advocate for the support situation? When my husband learned in kollel, we did it on our own.

  10. we need to encorage the girls to get married later in life, make a takuneh that girls are not to date untlil age 22. thus the “crisis” will be solved. a plus is that the girls will be able to save up some money and get an education. another crisis solved. Man they should put ME up there to speak by the convention. (they wont Im too unconventional)

  11. Comment # 9 Stop being a liberal. Answer to the issues posed. Shame Shame on those boys (not all, only those who do) after a date shmooze thru everything about the girl. She’s not humorous, doesn’t epis have enough toichin, “you know its like something you know what I mean”.

    By doing this they kill “B’yodayim” girls one after the other. This you will not find by the chassidisher. Every boy has to make up his own mind. They are no trading of previous secrets.

    Likewise the girls are inculcated with narishkeiten in the high schools and seminaries as to what they shouls expect from a boy. This is L’havdil by the goyim, they read the magazines and expect evry shaigitz and shiksa to fit a certain mold. So, the same by us. No, the boys are not what the are propped up to be. I haven’t seen lately many R’ Yakov’s, Rav Rudderman’s, Rav Shachs, Rav Hutners, Rav Millers, R’ Aron’s Zichronom Livrocho, etc.

    Be realistic. The Rosh Yeshiva should speak in the harshest terms at the Yeshive to the bochorim. They should not be mesader kedushin at such major age gap weddings.

    Wliminate giving of a Nadin. No more buying boys for money. The slave trade is closed. No $10,000 or $100,000 dowries.Show me a boy thats worth any money more than a girl. (The boy wants to get married, no problem, Pay the girls parents).You will see how many people will immediately be helped.

    Its a shanda to yiddishkeit.

  12. Pirkei Avos:

    Shemonah Esre L’Chupa.

    Both boys AND girls should get married very young. This will solve the age gap. 18 year olds marrying 18 year olds, like Chazal teach us, and like the Gedolim (most prominently Hagoen HaRav Avigdor Miller ZT’L) advocated.

  13. #10 is 100% right. My wife & I didn’t get married until she finished her degree, so she could get a job. The burden shouldn’t be on the parents.

  14. According to the esteemed presenter, Shidduchim are apparently no longer the job of Hashem. Hashem apparently retired in 1998, and gave the keys to statisticians. This is such Apikorsus, I can’t believe the moderator didn’t pull the plug!

    According to this logic, there should be takanah for girls to begin dating at age 18. They have to give the statisticians more time to work their magic, since now Hashem is no longer dealing with such insignificant issues as shidduchim!

    Ignoring the 400 pound gorilla in the room, doesn’t make it go away:

    The other 14% of boys are either working, baalei teshuva, or off the derech. By conveniently IGNORING the other 14% of the solution, this will still be topic 20 years from now.

  15. 10, the idea is for the girls to delay marriage so they can get a good parnasa to support their husbands, and maybe save up money. Never mind that they may be paying off student loans, or helping their parents by buying their own clothes, etc.

    I appreciate that age is a significant factor. Creating a climate where it will be routine for the first few girls the boys date to be within the range will help, and be reasonable hishtadlus. Sadly, I don’t like where a lot of the suggestions are coming from. The paradigm is shifting, and not healthily, IMO.

  16. Think of all the optional lifestyle decisions we have adopted and what the price of these decisions have cost our precious children.
    14% – rachmana litzlan.

    End the need for so many yeshivos.
    Close down the seminaries in Israel.
    Send the boys to school to learn how to make a living.
    Release the parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents in some cases from bondage.
    Focus the limited resources we have, on doing the important work of running a community.
    So many people are only interested in themselves

    How about being concerned about the Jewish community as a whole. If you cannot contribute to be a member of a Shul or to pay a significant portion of the cost of tuition for the large families you feel obligated to produce, how do you expect the community to operate?
    It cannot function on the backs of so few.

    But these words will fall on deaf ears.
    They will be shunned and the old.
    Why do I even bother.
    Good Grief.

  17. I know of a well recognized adam gadol in the Litvishe velt who believes that it is best for Bais Yaakov girls to get married as soon as possible after returning from their year in seminary. They are on a spiritual high at that point, having just spent an intense year in our holy land around holy people. The longer they drey around in America, whether it is working or schooling, their madreiga in ruchniyos goes down. He feels that it is most important to establish a home when at a peak in ruchniyusdike development. The concept of “Yeilchu mechayil el chayil” from seminary (a matzav of chayil) to kollel rebetzin (also a matzav of chayil), is best, while letting as little of the spiritual chalishus (working and college) set in.
    I know many will disagree with this, saying that it is not practical to get married without accumulating a nest egg, or a degree and the means to accumulate the same. But this man has been a widely known and respected rosh yeshiva for several decades, and his wife and several of his daughters are well known people in the world of chinuch habanos.

  18. According to my research, there is a large number of tall girls who have very minimal shidduch prospects, as there is an insufficient number of boys taller than them.

    Then you have shadchanim who will irresponsbily suggest a short girl for a tall boy, thereby taking another tall boy off the market.

    True, there are a small number of boys who don’t look at height and are willing to marry a girl an inch or two taller than them – but they are very few.

    Some have suggested that we convince boys to date girls taller than them, but it is hard to overcome the natural desire of a man to feel dominant in a marriage, and being the taller of the two contributes to that feeling.

    However, it is clearly very important that we urge the shadchanim to make extra efforts on behalf of the tall girls, and, conversely, consider short girls only when dealing with a very short boy.

    In this way we may somewhat redress the imbalance that has crept into the shidduch world.

    I plan to go around to Roshei Yeshiva and ask them to sign a Kol Korei on this matter, as soon as I can get all the Bais Yaakovs in US to give me statistics on how many tall unmarried girls they have among their alumni.

  19. #1 You seem to think this problem is especailly by the Girls looking for kollel guys. You are totally incorrect.

    #2 What we see from chassidim is that when they boys and girls date close in age there are no girls left out. (seems like you didn’t read the post or see the video since this has nothing to do with teleconferencing

    #3 many many girls who are 23 years old have barely dated. I’m not sure what planet you are on

    #5 They do which is why the female Ballos Teshuva are having a ridiculously hard time because the Male ballei get many dates with FFB girls

    #6 …..

    #7 The working boys have plenty of dates as well

    #8 Apparently you failed math 101. The video was made especially for people like you. There are simply more girls than boys in the dating pool in the NON chasidishe communities. Try watching the video its pretty easy to follow.

    #12 Money is a direct derivative of the
    numbers problem. Simple economics. Close the age gap and solve the unrealistic and unfair money demands.

    #13 If boys will marry at 18 by all means. so long as that doesn’t happen we need to figure out other ways to close the age gap

    #15 (chicago) Apparently the moderator trusted the Opinion of 70 R”Y who clearly stated that Age Gap is the primary cause of the Shidduch Crisis. Glad to see you think all 70 are “apikursum”.

    For the record I wonder if you think Bonei Oilam is also “Apikuros”. After all what is more directly in the hands of the Ribbono Shel Olam than having children???? If we detect a problem and we can alleviate it, we are OBLIGATED to do EVERYTHING in our power to do so.

  20. AG:

    You have again carefully avoided the Gorilla. Blaming things on statistics is a convenient tool to avoid making tough but neccesary changes in dealing with the available 14% of boys.

    Bonei Olam is offering a CONCRETE offer of assistance to the infertile couple. NASI is offering THEORETICAL AWARENESS. Educating the masses utilizing a survey (surveys are notoriously inaccurate) is NOT a CONCRETE offer to excite people with.

    Spinning statistics to suit your fancy while ignoring all other possible solutions weakens the NASI attraction to the viewers and readers of the Jewish media.

  21. I see you didn’t bother reading through my comment (I guess the subject line was enough for you to go on…), because not one sentence in your comment #12 answered anything from my comment #9.

    The funniest line was don’t be a liberal. So badmouthing the efforts of askanim is somehow, uh..conservative? Do you know what a liberal is? I’m about as far from a liberal as one can get. Oh well. I guess you won’t be reading this comment adequately either, so I’ll stop here and save pixels…

  22. i agree —- if everybody gave the working baal ha bos who is kovei itim the respect he deserves a big chunk of this issue would go away and there would be less poor people.

  23. Bekitzur, if you think that the shidduch crisis is one-dimensional, you are missing a lot!

    Note: it was not “R”Y who clearly stated that Age Gap is the primary cause of the Shidduch Crisis”. An askan wrote the letter & asked Roshei Yeshiva to sign. Ask your Rosh Yeshiva to what extent he agrees with the entire premise.

  24. We need a nachshon who went first into the yam suf. If just one of the seventy signers would marry their son or grandson to a girl 2-5 years older everything would change. An if another rosh yeshivah would marry his son to a ger or ballat tshuvah of impeccable middos even more would change. I greatly admire their writing of the letter and I am sure we can now count on them to lead us by example.

    The other alternative is for the younger Bais Yaacov girls to band together like Rochel Imeinu who held off marrying for seven years for Leah. If every Bais Yaacov graduate would pledge to delay shidduchim for one year their older school mattes would be taken care of.

    My proposal is Nachshon or Rochel.

  25. #21 – AG:

    So NASI should propose the Litvish follow the Chasidic shidduch model. Doing this is

    1) Less extreme than pushing for close in age matches

    2) More likely to be followed by the Oilem, than the likelihood of them following close in age.

  26. check out the way the chassidim do it they dnt have a anything close to this. they get married young and too who there parents see fit and they have no “shiddich crisis” there laughing at how crazy we do things!!!!!!!!!

  27. In my day the Young Israel had a dance Thursday nights and girls were not conditioned to ignore a boy. There was always the pizza shop on 13 & 53rd. all The Agudah types have succeeded in doing is taking the most exciting time of the life of a young person and transform it into one of fear, dread and apprehension. ANd now they have video. The damage has been done

  28. AG, you write, close the age gap and we won’t have money issues.
    First of all, money has been an issue for about 20ish years. I don’t think it’s going away. But second, there is something really crum and insidious about that statement. You’re saying that since the market is skewed numbers wise against the girls the boys can demand what they want. What kind of beheimas are we raising?!?!?

    Required listening: Rabbi Reisman’s shiur of motzei Shabbos parshas Toldos, where the theme of many of the stories was the historical imperative of maintaining the kavod of the bas Yisrael.

    Redefining yeridas hadoros….

  29. I just started to watch the video and was disgusted with the title of TRADEGY, as a sigle i dont think it is nice to call it a TRADEGY, we are still living everyday life and trusting in Hashem.

  30. P.S. to Leah Oppenheim: I choose to be dan lekaf zechus – how do we know that they aren’t dating within the range too, just not finding their bashert within range? No one’s advocating social engineering (yet…? Cue for Twilight Zone music).

    And how do you know that they aren’t within the NASI range? I don’t see that info included in the notices, articles, etc. about such shidduchim.

  31. #30, you don’t sound like a rebbetzin to me!

    My son in law actually tries to help marry off my daughter’s friends, but giving us names of his friends. that is our help, but I don’t think Hashem wanted my daughter to push off her shidduch just because some older girls weren’t married. Unless a gadol says otherwise.

    This whole thing is getting silly and out of hand. I think people have to be educated about what to look for in shidduchim. The girls don’t get enough dates while the boys’ mothers are overwhelmed.
    I have a very hard time calling boys’ mothers and I’ve become so frustrated that I stopped redding shidduchim because of some attitudes I’ve come across.
    Maybe NASI should give programs on how to teach parents some guidelines in shidduchim.

  32. So, where are all these wonderful working boys? There are loads of frum, intelligent, educated, worldly girls looking for exactly that, but only get, “Well, if he’s working, well, you know…I don’t know about his frumkeit, etc…” What nonsense. Many fine girls want a frum boy who understands responsibility to a family and to a community; who understands the beauty of balancing Torah, parnassah, and real life. So, where are all these boys? We can’t find them. That’s the real crisis.

  33. 36, you’re right. I was recently written down as a reference for a frum working boy and I got tons of phone calls. So many girls, or at least mothers of girls, wish they could find such a person.

  34. To #23

    14% of boys. hmmmm pehaps you know where they are hiding. They are not in any yeshivos, they are not on any shadchanims list. NASI is presently working diligently to get accurate data from boys HS graduating classes to ascertainn just how many are still single. YOu seem to know them all. I’m sure NASI would love your assistance.

    to #26 It’s not one dimesinonal. Just there is one dimension that = 10% before anything else, and THAT dimenstion is emminently solvalble…

    to #28 go for it. Close the age gap does seem to be working but if you think you can get litvishe bouys to date at 18-19 by all means make it happen. NASI follows the directives of the R”Y advising it, and this is their present course of action.

    to #31 see what was written above to #23

    #32…….. simple econonmics whether you like it or not…. you keep listening to tapes and NASI will keep on working to help girls get marreid

  35. “The response from the session was positive. More importantly, the awareness equals more readiness for the implementation of the necessary minor structural changes.”

    Please notice the fallacy here. The Roshei Yeshiva who signed the letter (did not write the letter) did not endorse the proposals above!

    Name one Rosh Yeshiva who thinks that sending a bochur to EY for 3/4 of a year is worthwhile! Please get a direct quote or signed statement.

    Whose response to the session was positive? Baalebatim? Remember – daas baalebatim hefech daas Torah!

    Then call any of the Lakewood Roshei Yeshiva and ask if they are prepared to make changes to the freezer rules.

    This is a very slippery slope. If Klal Yisroel is going to be run by baalebatim, we will be in BIG TROUBLE!

  36. A.G. im glad that as much as you try to argue most people have the seichel to see that this whole project is just another thing to could hide behind as the solution to all these problems instead of addressing the real problems properly themselves. I’m very much involved in the yeshiva world and don’t know anyone who speaks to the many bochrim about helping the shidduch crisis.
    The same feeling was going on at the agudah convention when it was presented as well as the other speeches there which did little to resolve any of the many problems in our society but thats for another post.
    I know we don’t have the luxury of sitting in yeshiva with a laptop crunching numbers all day, but i can tell you from running multiple businesses you could never solve a crisis just based on numbers. The numbers never tell the real story.

  37. To say that the shidduch crisis is about “age gap” is sheer apikorsus.

    The RBS”O in his wisdom chooses zivugim for our children 40 days before they are an entity. If we would have Emunah and Bitochon we would realize this is a gezeirah min HaShamayim to tell us something – perhaps the concept that we are not in control and that maybe we are actually doing something wrong.

    I have heard a great deal for the past 2 decades about Bitachon/Emunah where it concerns Kollel. It’s odd how for something that is a choice, to go out to work and fulfill ones obligation to support one’s family while maintaining a kivi’us vs. sitting and learning, we throw around the concept of Bitachon/Emunah.

    When a guy chooses to be in Kollel today he is usually making a choice to give the worries of parnossah to his spouse or parents. It is a rare thing to meet a yungerman who is actually being moser nefesh (particularly his own) to shteig in Kollel.

    Our Bachurim stand under the chupah and hand a shtar to their kallahs in front of 2 Aiday Kiddushin that states that they will support their wife, without integrity. For this we talk about Bitachon.

    Ironically the very structure of the contemporary Kollel model has greatly contributed to the infrastructure that has contributed to the financial tzoros involved in making a shidduch.

    Even without kollel, chalilah a couple starts off simple. Parent A has to give this and Parent B should go in hock to provide that.

    Once there are children, our women are too chashuv to raise them. After all who wants to be home? Furthermore what husband is machshiv his wife being home with the kid’s – DOING NOTHING ALL DAY!?!

    No other period in the history of Klal Yisroel has raised a generation that has so much ga’avah, so many expectations and so little sense of Achrayus and responsibility.

    To say the problems are about an “Age Gap” only illustrates how low we have sunk and how little introspection we do as a community. The Dor of Rav Moshe ZT”L would never have shown such impudence.

    May the RBS”H have rachmonus on the thoughtless generation that we are and hasten Moshiah and take us out of this galus soon, L’Ma’an Shimo B’Ahavah, before we sink any lower.

  38. To #39 every work of the presentation/video/handout was reviewed by the R”Y advising NASI.

    TO #40 PO: close to 800 close in age shidducim in the past two is progress, i might say. NO crunching numbers isn’t a solution it’s part of the process of getting at the problem, bringing it to peoples attention, and thus enabling implementation of the various suggestions that will alleviate the problem.

    TO #41-Rivka: You don’t mean to imply that the 70 R”Y who signed a letter stating that age gap is the PRIMARY cause of the shidduch crisis are apikursim- do you?? Perhaps you them all a public apology.

  39. From reading this writeup , the solutions seems to focuse around learning boys.

    Extending the freezer time for younger then 21 etc. bringinf learning boys home early.

    Are we then understanding that for the working boys and girls, all is fine?

    Abe S

  40. #41:
    Are you challenging this generation’s gedolim that you are smarter and humbler than they are?
    They set up the kollel system, and yes there are problems with it, but there are plenty of other problems with couples who never spend a day in kollel. Even with the parents supporting their kollel children, as I am doing now, my children are very careful with their spending. They think twice before even buying a pair of shoes or anything because even with the support, their funds are limited. There is PLENTY of mesirus nefesh on their part, and I am more glad to support them knowing I will get part of their sechar for the learning.
    I’m glad you think our gedolim are thoughtless and you know better than Rav Ahron Kotler z’l who set up Lakewood Yeshiva, or the other roshei yeshiva.
    We can agree to disagree, but please no name callings. Not everyone is cut out for kollel, but don’t blame all society’s ills on kollel life!
    You obviously have some hard feelings but they won’t change the thoughts of the young girls who want to support their husbands and promote more Torah learning.
    Many ladies who don’t work out of the home find the time to leave their children with babysitters so that they could go shopping. Not everything is perfect on their end either.

  41. AG, your so busy with your numbers but you can’t give a full presentation. You quote the numbers that might support your whole theory but where is the other side? You say there were 800 close in age shidduchim in the last two years, but how many were in the two years before that? How many were 23 year olds that married 21 year olds? As much as that may help your cause i know plenty of 23 year old boys who married 21 year old girls before the whole nasi project. I want to hear about the 22 year old boys who married the 24 or 25 year old girls! If thats not happening then what are you trying to say we know that there is a large percentage of older girls that aren’t married but there is nothing we could do about that lets work on the future ones? 14% of girls are not getting married but we don’t know what the percentage is by the boys, again this doesn’t seem like a very professional presentation. An organization like invei or the others are actualy going out and doing something to help the older singles. They dont crunch numbers or put out fliers with 70 R”Y signing on it, they don’t need to b/c the public understands what they are trying to accomplish, i don’t know the same could be said about the nasi project.

  42. A shidduch Solution

    Shidduch World was created with one primary goal; to help singles and their parents in the process of Shidduchim!

    It is our sincere hope that by working together with concerned Yidden from around the world, we will merit to facilitate many more Shidduchim in Klal Yisrael!

  43. Keep the boys in the freezer and throw the keys in the east river. The boys are kalehdik. its a shanda and charpah. If it walks like a duck, smells like a duck and quacks like a duck, ITS A DUCK.

    The chinuch the boys are getting is missing alot. They think of themselves as the RBS”O gift to humanity. I got news for you THEY AINT. The girls of this generations are heads above the boys in middos, chinuch, mentchlichkeit, etc. Any boy who wants to get married to be able to show off that he is married, should pay the girls parents to be zoicheh to marry a wonderful girl.

  44. I know this might be a crazy suggestion, but perhaps the gedolim should allow boys to marry more than one girl!!!
    its the only solution i tell you!!!!
    boys should have more than one wife.
    and anyway, financially they will be better off!!

  45. crzy suggestion: they are only finacially well off for a while untill they have 25 children and there are two divorces with 25 children without child suopport

  46. reply #51

    I disagree with you, it is not a crazy suggestion.it is a radical suggestion.
    having 25 children is a good thing.
    why would they get divorce?
    #49 I agree with you. radical. but it works. i don’t mind having two wives.

  47. reply #58 and #59
    you really make me sick!!!
    I do not like to publicize my name, so the first name that came to me was tzippi.
    i beg you for forgivness for stealing your original creative innovative name.
    forgive me,
    next time I will read ALL the names, just to make sure its not from you dearest tzippi

  48. My apologies Sara.
    A few things:
    – It’s strange that my comments on someone “taking” my name appeared somewhere but as yet haven’t been on the comments I’m reading. So I don’t know if everyone else reading knows the context.
    – I tend to, let’s just say, actively participate on shidduch threads so I was being a bit paranoid. So I may have overreacted. Again, please be mochel.

  49. I know, I was a bit confused to when I didn’t see it on the comments.
    Anyway, apology accepted, and yes, I did lash out on you, because I am slightly sensitive. so I do hope you forgive my lashings.
    a guten shabbos

  50. Yitzy you’re on to something but why stop at two?

    A friend of mine said “Two! I can barely deal with the one I have!”

  51. reply #61
    so are you agreeing with me?

    why not have ten wives?!
    cleaner house,
    more food on the stove,
    more children to bring us nachas,
    more attention…

    its the life of a king i tell you!

  52. I found this video particularly unhelpful for the singles out there who are struggling to keep going. As someone who ‘falls into the 14%’ I can say I was completely freaked out. Do you really think it is important to make this video public?