The Matzav Rant: Suffering from Fiveish-Mania

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fiveishBy Shmuel Miskin

Anyone else out there suffering from Fiveish-mania? In my home, my kids can’t seem to get enough of Fiveish. My son has saved every ad and brochure containing a photo of Fiveish – Oorah’s now famous auction mascot – and my kids have watched Fiveish’s impersonations hundreds of times.

Ask my son his name and what will he tell you? You guessed it: Fiveish.

Who does he want to be like? Fiveish.

What is he dressing up like on Purim? Fiveish. (Even though he’s not.)

Who does he want to come to our house on Purim? Fiveish. (Sorry, kids, we can’t afford the $180 donation to Oorah, so that ain’t happening. Maybe we’ll bump into him on the street.)

It’s all Fiveish all the time, around the clock, in our home.

I told my wife that I wish I was being paid by Oorah for the free publicity we give Fiveish, as my son has been walking around all week with a Fiveish sticker on his shirt.

And when a Fiveish sticker arrived in the Yated this week, my kids almost hit the roof with excitement.

Fiveish-mania 2010… Who would have ever believed?

May it be the worst thing I ever rant about.

Ah freilichen Purim to all.

{Shmuel Miskin-Matzav.com Newscenter}

37 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you, oorah, for making sure evryone in our community adores a 5 dollar bill. “Elohei kesef velohei zahav lo saasun iti”

  2. To #4…He is “In YOU!” Everyone has a little of Fiveish inside of them! He brings out simchas HaChaim and everyone could use a dose (or two) of that every day.

    Kids are very perceptive and they can “see into things.” They get it. Adults need to “get with the program.”

    A Freilechin Purim!

  3. i would like to thank Oorah for bringing such simmcha in to our homes. Besides for all the other Mitzvos that they do. I happen to know fiveish personally and he is a very big Tzadik. Halevai your kids should be more in to such people

  4. Yigal Matbucha will be gracing my Purim table this year, he’s gotten very chunky lately but he’s great..with lots of hot peppers 🙂

  5. my nephew’s name is Feivel, I can’t tell you how badly he’s being teased these days with everyone calling him ‘fiveish..fiveish..’. They should have been more sensitive.

  6. First it starts with Feivush stickers and before you know it your kids might be drinking on purim. All the Rabonim must get together to ban Feivush and ban listening to megila

  7. It is wonderful that the kids (and some adults) get excited about Fiveish and what he stands for (Kiruv Richoking. It is much better then sports!

  8. WE LOVE FEIVUSH BECAUSE OF WHAT HE STANDS FOR-KIRUV RECHOIKIM AND ALL THE GREAT WORK THAT OORAH DOES.EVERYONE SHOULD GET INVOLVED TAKE THE STICKERS POST IT ON YOUR CAR YOUR FRIDGE AND ON YOUR FACE. LET EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT ALL THE GREAT WORK THEY DO. IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY ROOM ON YOUR FACE TO STICK THE STICKER ON SUPPORT OORAH BUY USING A http://www.kirbycard.com/. THIS IS WHAT IS DEMANDED OF US IN THESE TRYING TIMES.WITH THE TERRIBLE ASSIMILATION RATE OORAH HAS BEEN AT THE FOREFRONT OF KIRUV RECHOKIM IN OUR TIMES

  9. On a personal not i would like to say that Oorah helped me out a lot and i would encourage everyone to support this wonderful organization.Before i was religious my life was full of emptiness. I didn’t feel like i was being forced in to any thing just an outpouring of love and friendship. The folks that work there are the greatest. They walked me thru everything and taught me all about the beauty of Torah and Mitzvot.

  10. If they come out with a ban against Feivish, Feivish will become the hottest sensation. We will have Feivish concerts.

    Btw, my brother in Israel told me that last year in Israel there were Feivish billboards all over the place. I think Oorah should put up a few Feivish billboards by the Outerbridge crossing, and along the BQE. That will make a mania like you’ve never seen.

  11. SHMUEL MISKIN
    I have been reading your rants for some time now. My observation is that you are a negative person that’s always on the lookout for something to complain about. You feed the stereotype that Jews love to complain. Many of your rants are baseless and pointless. They are just being “mashrish” midos megunos into your neshama. Yes there are many problems in the community with parnassah, shidduchim…and its proper to address the real issues. Making an issue out of Feivish is pathetic and an example of looking for something to complain about. It is a mitzvah to be besimcha and a complainer has a hard time davening to Hashem and appreciating all the good that He does for us. It may seem trivial but the more you look for problems the more critical and negative you will become and you will take it out on those closest to you ie. your loved ones. Have Rachmanis on them and on yourself and try to be more positive. How about positive rants? In all honesty we can all find plenty to “rant” about. Just reading the news gives us plenty of ammo. It would be a big Toivah to those who read this website if you can write articles that leave the reader with a smile on his face and a renewed chizuk for Torah and yiddishkiet. Often I find myself down after reading your articles. They really bring out the bad in people as you should know from the many comments that come in. You are unwittingly causing people to be in a negative down mood. I think most readers would love a more positive type of article from this column in the future. You will be doing a great public service and a mitzvah by giving people a geshmack from your column.

    I’m sorry that I have to give you mussar but it really bothers me. Please consider my advice.

    A Freilichen Purim!
    May this be the last Purim in the golus!

  12. Feivel’s aunt: Perhaps your nephew’s parents should have been more sensitive. Oorah is doing nothing wrong (except perhaps stealing Geico’s idea).

    Farfelfresser: Great name, but please turn off the cAPS lOCK.

  13. this is pure kosher . as reb yosef rosenblum would say . other mosdas shall not be hurt by their good marketing technikis . i wish them a lot of hatzlocha . hopefully they will have a lot of hatzlocha .

  14. We love the CD videos, When Zaidy was young, Marvelous Middos Machine, Sfashkenaz, Lipa’s Hentelech, and atheist convention comedy. Great entertainment. Also love the Feivish impersonations.

  15. #29 you took the words out of my mouth.
    Shmuel Miskin-you are so negative! Please stop “kvetching” about little things that bother u-no one enjoys your negativity…your poor wife prob. Has to listen to you “kvetch” all day.

  16. How can anyone say loshon hora about Fiveish? The guy is awesome! He is always smiling and making people happy, he does tons of chessed and kiruv, and best of all he has the coolest shoes!

  17. I just met fiveish. He’s really funny. Trying to find the perfect place to display the fiviesh stickers my Jewish friend gave me. Yep, I am a Christian and I love fiveish!

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