The shidduch crisis is clearly a result of a numbers problem. The age gap between the boys and girls creates a situation where there are a surplus of girls and a shortage of boys. I write the following based on an idea I saw shared on a website about doing what we can to help ourselves.
How can a girl who is facing the harsh reality of the numbers make herself sought after by the boys? The only way she can is by being remarkable. A girl can be remarkable in many different ways. She can be remarkably smart, remarkably pretty, remarkably talented, remarkably capable, remarkable wealthy, or even remarkably trendy. But what if a girl doesn’t have any of these remarkable traits? If she isn’t exceptionally smart, pretty, talented, capable, wealthy, or trendy – how does she rise above the crowd?
A girl can become sought after by having a passion. If there is something she cares about so deeply that it defines who she is, that makes her stand out from the other girls out there. For example, a girl who is so into kiruv that she is always talking about it or doing something related to it, will come to be known as the “kiruv girl.” While every other girl is being described as “a very nice girl, frum and ehrlich,” she will be described as “the kiruv girl.” Believe it or not, that will get some boys’ attention. Being passionate about something specific makes you stand out from the crowd and give you a mission that defines your very essence.
You don’t need to solve the entire shidduch crisis to get married. All that needs to be done is to solve the crisis as it relates to you. And that is clearly within your ability to do by defining your passion and making it your very essence.
Think about it.
A Girl in Shidduchim
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