The Matzav Shmoooze: My Ainiklach Won’t Listen to Me

23

Dear Editor,

Many of us know the song, composed and made famous by Moshe Aharon Yess of Megama fame. To paraphrase the lyrics, “Zaidy made us Kiddush Friday night… Zaidy, oh how I miss you so. Zaidy, you taught us wrong from right.”

Well, now that I am a zaidy, I have tried to teach my ainiklach wrong from right. Instead of being receptive, my ainiklach challenge me, stating, “Where does it say… ”

True, my ainiklach don’t need me to make them Kiddush, but they are missing out on so much that only a zaidy could share.

Nebach.

Zaidy Moshe “No”
USA

{Matzav.com}

23 COMMENTS

  1. R’ Zaidy-

    I feel your pain. Obviously I have no idea of the exact circumstances, but I have found – certainly with my own children – that setting an example is far more effective than giving a lecture. Zaidys should be sources of unconditional love – not criticism – and, in such an environment, your actions will speak louder than your words.

  2. “Zaidy” should just be himself and they will learn from who he is and what he is. When your child has a child, you don’t magically become a mechanech, if you were not one before. You do become a person whose life can be a lesson. Relax and enjoy it and they will learn a lot from you!

  3. It’s a shame that a Zaidy’s feelings are being hurt and he isn’t getting nachas from his grandchildren. However, if this Zaidy would like honest opinions and/or advice concerning what he’s trying to convey to his grandchildren and their reactions to those teachings, that’s impossible to provide without his giving any specifics.

    Personally, I appreciate “Where does it say…” questions as long as they are honest questions and not asked with a chutzpadik intend.

  4. This may sound almost keneged Torah but it is true. I heard it from Rav Moshe Meir Weiss on a Chumash shiur.
    You want your einiklach to come? Bribe them. Give them small change.
    From your complaint it sounds like you are always telling them what to do.
    Your job is to be loving, telling stories, listening and being nonjudgmental.
    Oh. And giving them a serious age appropriate gift everytime you see them.
    Not only does it work, you instill in them the love for a zayde and even yiddishkeit.
    Don’t fight the system. Use it to your benefit.
    Before the zayde taught them wrong from right, he laughed and sang with them.
    If he had money he definetily would have given them.
    Farshtei?

  5. I don’t know where half of these clowns above are coming from, but if your grandchildren are challenging you, your children aren’t raising them right. I BH raised my kids to respect their grandparents. Perhaps I’m out of touch with the new way of doing things. After all, I’m an old 59.

  6. Reviewing comments 1-11, just confirms what Zaidy USA observed, but with grown men, dehainun, lecturing zaidy on proper behavior. Do you really think his teaching “wrong from right” was limited to pedagical instruction. Do you believe the drush for bshitCHA uvelechTECHA, is beyond a zaidy’s reach. Your rush to judgment only reconfirms his exprience (and unfortunatley mine as well). The notion that zaidys must shower the aineklech with money and gifts is a natural extrapolation of another unfortunate phenomenan in our community (vdai lemavin)
    I conclude with the gemarah soita, Yirhavu Hannar Behazakain.
    Now I will sit back and read the comments to follow, of those young fathers trying to replace wisdom aquired through life experience, with a “mer gelernt fun dir” approach. To those, please see yam shel shlomo perek hachovel.

    Signed
    Zkainecha (veyomru lach; providing you are interested in listening)

  7. Seriously?? You’re complaining that your “Eineklach” don’t listen to you?? Just be happy that your CHILDREN listen to you- that’s a rarity these days… #Zaidycomplainstoomuch

  8. How many names does Zaidy Moshe No have?
    Was this zaidy perhaps involved in alienating a teen from his parents in a very public way? Nu, sincere tsheuva will do you a lot more good than these articles!

  9. Zaidy Moish

    You deserve a big kush on the bekalech!
    Sefasayim Yishak Mashiv Duvrei Nechonim.

    My best advice to you, is to turn off Moshe Yes and turn on Reb Shlomo Carlebach
    Sing some shifchi kamayim…. Oidcha hashem Elokai…….and then your eineklech may sing in response “hashmiini es koilech”…. they’ll want to listen!!!

    Don’y underestimate the power of Shlomo; he bridged worlds and generations; he can do the same for you

  10. Hi Zeidy Anonymus

    I understand what you mean. the Problem ist not You, like the others Commentators say.

    Its the new Generation of Children Chassidish, Litvish, Orthodox, Modern Othodox and so on. The Parents of that Children dont teach them that there is a 5Th Part Shulchon Oruch. Officail there is only 4 Parts of Books, but we say there is a 5Th Part that says you need to have Middos, Minhogim, Parents Knowledge, Grandparents Wisdom and so on. But the new Generation dont think so only what is writet down.

    Its a BIG Lack in our new Generation and a BIG Lack of Yiddishkeit.

  11. There is far too little information for any of us to diagnose the problem. On one side, we could have a bunch of spoiled little brats who challenge their zaidy to brush him off. On the other, zaidy could be an annoying selfish boor whom the kids are trying to avoid. Or the truth could be somewhere in between.

  12. Response to comment # 20
    My eineklech never heard of Shloimala, nor have they heard his music. All they’ve heard is Jungle music, put to jewish words, produced by and sung by, individuals dressed in chareidi/chasidic garb.

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