Does this happen to you? It is happening to me, and, I am embarrassed to say, this is not the first time either. Unfortunately, I had a few brushes with the law this last year and have to be in court in a couple of weeks, when I will ask the Judge to please see that I am a good person but made a few mistakes.
I was advised that for each offense, the punishment may not be too harsh, but as a repeat offender, combined with the facts of what I have done wrong, they will probably be grouped together to paint “a picture of who I am,” and it may result in a significant and perhaps harsh punishment.
Now I am told that only a week after my appearance, the judge wants me back for sentencing. I can’t find a defense attorney to go and represent me in person and it seems that I must be there myself. Any suggestions from your readership of what to do?
On a personal note, I am not sure how to handle my family, because they seem to feel I am better off and will be more relaxed for my court appearance if we go upstate and enjoy the country air. I happen to think that now, with the potential of serious consequences for my actions staring me in the face, I should be home and in my shul getting inspired from my rov and preparing for my day in court, yet somehow my family thinks I can get the same inspiration upstate. Dare I think that this scary life threatening situation I find myself in is not that critical to some members of my family? I shudder to think that they would be okay and just move on if anything drastic happened to me.
If any of your wonderful readers can calm me and help me through this, I would appreciate it very much. I try to focus on all of the wonderful things I have in my life and how fortunate I have been this past year, but I cannot ignore the tragedies, illness, poverty and other terrible situations surrounding me. I kind of feel that since I am a part of Klal Yisroel, it is probable that the Judge will look at my group as a whole when deciding my personal fate. I happen to know that the Judge overseeing my case is a very fair and very reasonable one, who seems to always look for a good result, but I cannot just sit back and assume all will be fine.
Should I go upstate, relax and try to get inspired there? Or should I stay home and be in a real shul, with a real rov, and be inspired here? My life is on the line, but some people in my house don’t seem to get it.
Confused and anxious about the Yemei Hadin