The Matzav Shmoooze: What Do You Bring Into Your Home? December 20, 2012  6:02 pm

magazinesDear Editor,

Let me begin by making clear that I believe in protecting children. Those who hurt or abuse children should be removed from our society. Period.

But I also believe in protecting the sanctity of my family and in protecting my home. Which is why some things need not be brought into my home – such as conversations with lawyers, experts or really anyone else sharing their opinions and analysis of court cases and legal action involving those who abuse or are alleged to have abused children.

When supposed family publications, which people bring into their homes and are picked up by children of all ages, have no limits regarding what they will report or discuss, we have in essence removed any semblance of holiness or purity in our homes. The spiritual havoc this could render on our homes is inestimable.

Fellow Yidden, be wise about what you bring into your home. We are no longer able to rely on the wisdom of others, especially when their bottom line, and issues sold, seems to be all that matters.


A Concerned Yiddishe Parent

Boro Park

{ Newscenter}

18 Responses to The Matzav Shmoooze: What Do You Bring Into Your Home?

1 .Comment from H Fan

December 20, 2012 at 6:12 pm
you tell me the problem but don't give me a solution "Fellow Yidden, be wise about what you bring into your home." - everyone agrees to this but we are looking for a solution. maybe Matzav should post suggested guidelines as to going about being "wise"

2 .Comment from Oldtimer

December 20, 2012 at 6:13 pm
In other words, don't publish anything to do with abuse? For fear that a child might read it? Please note that we don't have any publications that are NOT family publications. This would in effect censor our media to the benefit of the abusers. You can always tear out the pages that amight be problematic and read them separately.

3 .Comment from Eli

December 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm
This letter write is exactly the core problem facing the frum society. Cover it up Shove it under the carpet and forget about it.

4 .Comment from Anonymous

December 20, 2012 at 6:47 pm
no sain jew with a clear mind would bring it into there home publishing it doesn't make the problem go away!!!!!

5 .Comment from jew

December 20, 2012 at 6:48 pm
the applications are many, and some surprising at first glance, meaning those who try their best in competing graphics and themes with the new york time........

6 .Comment from limaasah

December 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm
A clear distinction can be made between matters of safety/education and matters of detailed explicit reviews of lawsuits. How would you distinguish between the two?

7 .Comment from Anonymous

December 20, 2012 at 8:21 pm
I agree with the letter writer; at least, if these topics must be discussed in a family paper, write the articles in a way that children don't understand what is being written. Children should receive their education on these matters from parents, not from frum publications. Not everything needs to be discussed in public. "Sweeping something under the rug" is not the same thing as being wise about the forum in which it is discussed.

8 .Comment from skdoula

December 20, 2012 at 9:18 pm
#1 & #4 are absolutely correct; These subjects & newspapers should never ever be brought into a home, simply because it brings down the Kedusha of a home. None of my children allow a newspaper into their home & are knwledgeable & savy about what's going on in the world; Because we don't subsccribe to certain subjects (#3), ddoesn't necessairily mean we are sweeping them under the proverbial carpet...

9 .Comment from Shmuel R

December 20, 2012 at 9:35 pm
I understand your main point to be that various popular article topics these days have an unintended but nevertheless harmful effect: "we have in essence removed any semblance of holiness or purity in our homes. The spiritual havoc this could render on our homes is inestimable." Although your point is counter-intuitive and probably unpopular, it seems unfortunately valid and very important to keep in mind. We seem to be a generation that chooses not to exercise discretion. And, yes, certain issues most definitely need to be thoroughly addressed, and children need to be taught safety, but the forum should not be on the coffee table at home,

10 .Comment from Solution?

December 20, 2012 at 10:47 pm
Don't these "family magazines" have "Rabbinic Advisors"? Wouldn't that be the correct address for any spiritual concerns regarding the content of the publication? Perhaps articulate such a letter (obviously showing proper respect towards the Rav), and publish it on this site- with the Rav's response.

11 .Comment from Anonymous

December 20, 2012 at 10:49 pm
Simply put: Magazines and newspapers have the option to not discuss certain topics like abuse. HOWEVER when one magazine has a feature in the defense of a prolific abuser who made an astounding Chillul Hashem for the past few weeks, it is outrageous. Such garbage should not be brought into a Jewish home. Editors have to use seichel and not turn their papers into a National Enquirer.

12 .Comment from Anonymous

December 20, 2012 at 11:06 pm
"?? ????? ???? ??????? ???? ???? ?? ????" When one sees the Sotah's body exploding and and the horrible death she suffered, the viewer should accept Nezirus, which is a repair to kedusha that is lacking. Why does a person who just witnessed what happened to an unfaithful woman need any help now? The meforshim explain, certain sins are impossible to us - we feel they can never be perpetrated. When we see that it has been done, although we see the huge punishment, this sin has now become possible. ____ A responsible parent teaches their child to be safe, and how to be safe. They are always vigilant about changes in the child. However, showing them a case and point (besides for a child who is already being reckless) just shows them that these impossible sins and destruct ions are possible. It can only harm (the average) child.

13 .Comment from Moshe

December 20, 2012 at 11:50 pm
Right on. This publication is having no limits on what he covers. We're Yidden.

14 .Comment from Torahis1

December 21, 2012 at 12:07 am someone is more concerned about their kids reading about this topic than actually protecting their kids. just sad

15 .Comment from reality check

December 21, 2012 at 1:30 am
To all those who are jumping on the writer for pushing things under the carpet, shoving them under the rug, being part of the problem, etc., please re-read the author's words. While it could most definitely be debated if frum publications are the most appropriate venue for safety and education of children in this subject, that is not even what this parent is saying. Please read before you jump: "Which is why some things need not be brought into my home - such as conversations with lawyers, experts or really anyone else sharing their opinions and analysis of court cases and legal action involving those who abuse or are alleged to have abused children." Why do our frum publications have to imitate the goyim by rehashing, analyzing, re-analyzing, dissecting etc. these kinds of court cases? What good does that do anyone?

16 .Comment from fact check

December 21, 2012 at 7:07 am
This argument about shoving things under the rug is so not true anymore. Everything has been thrown out there and discussed a million times. The problem is just the opposite today. Every piece if dirty laundry is being hung out. Let's say it the way it is. The weekly magazines u are talking about does not print these stories and issues in order to help klal Yisroel. It's about selling magazines. And people unfortunately love seeing gossip ans sensational stories. I cringe when every single week the theme in these magazines are abuse, divorce, teenage rebellion, estranged parents and everything in between. Week after week. There is nothing under the rug these days. Another thing you need to remember is that for some odd reason, people have begun to think that the owners and editors of these rags are today's Rabbanim, Roshei Yeshiva and poskim! What is that all about? Why are their opinions on these topics important? Because they publish a magazine and put a ravs name on their Rabbinical board? Please. It is a very unfortunate situation. You are correct. I don't want my children reading this week after week. Especially if it may not be daas Torah.

17 .Comment from Rick Santorum

December 21, 2012 at 10:47 am
The letter writer is dead wrong.

18 .Comment from Sarah Palin

December 22, 2012 at 7:28 pm
The letter right is on the money.


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