The Matzav Shmoooze: Yomim Ruining Weddings

21

weddingDear Editor,

Thank you for providing this useful and interesting forum for the frum community.

Some may scoff at the issue I would like to raise, but here it is.

In a beautiful display of kavod haTorah, by most chasunas, when a respected rov or rosh yeshiva enters the circle of dancing, the popular song “Yomim a yemei melech tosif” is played, and the spirited singing and dancing displays the reverence with which we hold our rabbonim and roshei yeshiva.

The idea is a most beautiful one, no doubt.

However, at many chasunas that I’ve attended, the dancing has been interrupted 4-5 times so that Yomim can be played. The entire momentum of the second dance, which is customarily comprised of hora songs, comes to a complete halt when Yomim is played for what might be the fifth time that night.

When something is done too often, it not only becomes a nuisance, but it also loses its chashivus.

Am I the only one who feels this way, or are there others who feel the same?

Y. G.

Five Towns, NY

{Matzav.com Newscenter}

21 COMMENTS

  1. THIS A MAJOR “CHAKURA” I THINK , THAT SINCE LITA WAS CREATED WE DIDN”T HAVE SUCH AN IN DEPTH CHAKURA. I THINK THAT ONLY THE ROSHIE YESHOVEIS WILL BE ABLE TO TO COME TO A CONCLUSTION

    PLEASE KEEP ME UPDATED

    SIGNED: A CHASSIDISHE BOCUR WHO LERNED IN A LITVISHE YESHIVA

  2. I agree 100%! As a matter of fact I don’t think Yomim should be played at all! Tonight is about chosson and kallah, not about the rosh yeshiva. I feel the same way about playing Chanukah and Purim songs at chasunos during their respective seasons. These songs have no place at weddings!

  3. I could not agree more. There is another point that you missed. It then becomes the question as to who gets the special song and who does not, which creates another political aspect to your wedding which most people are not looking for.

  4. Why don’t you visit people in the hospital that cant get to a second dance. I think youd change your mind and get a mitzvah of Bikur Cholim at the same time.

  5. You have Pshat in the song mixed up. At a Chasuna the Choson is doima lmelech so it is he who is the king therefore the song is a Tefilla for the Choson that HIS days are added. Now your Kasha is so why play it only when Roshei Yeshiva come in. Teretz is your right. Seriously……..does this really bother you?

  6. That’s only part of the problem. The bigger problem is knowing which Rosh Yeshiva is dancing in middle. That’s why I love chasidishe chasunas. Each rebbe has its own chasidus’ theme song. This way you know which rebbe is dancing in middle without straining your neck to see which Rosh Yeshiva it is.

  7. There’s a beautiful story about Rav Shlomo Zalman zt”l and the “Yamim” song. Rav Shlomo Zalman once arrived at a chasuna hall, and of course the band changed gears to the song “Yamim”. As all the bachurim gathered around Rav Shlomo Zalman to dance with Echad mi’gidolei hador, Rav Shlomo Zalman pulled the Chasan close and told him “They are dancing for you. Tonight, you, the Chasan, are the melech”.

  8. There is also an interesting story told about Rav Chaim Kanievsky. I can not testify as to the veracity of the story but it is humorous none the less.
    It is said that he told a chosson

  9. There is also an interesting story told about Rav Chaim Kanievsky. I can not testify as to the veracity of the story but it is humorous none the less.
    It is said that he told a chosson that when he was a young man, music was much more brait. Nowadays there is only one song.

  10. R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l once came in to a chasunah, and naturally they began playing yomim…
    In an attempt to be rodef min hakavod, he was overheard mumbling under his breath, “chosson domeh l’melech, chosson domeh l’melech”

  11. You should join “cell phone picture taker ban guy” and come up with a list your issues, visit a therapist together.
    Between the two of you, you give new meaning to a “Takanna wedding.”
    Be happy you’re making a Simcha. Get a life and stop Kvetching like a child.

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