Those Among Us Who Stab Us In The Back


stabbingBy Rafael Gebrili

Recently, a booklet on tznius was mailed out in one of our frum communities. I personally thought that the booklet was a mistake from beginning to end. I don’t believe it should have been printed or distributed (and a rov I spoke to said that I am correct in my feelings and that he was appalled that the booklet was published), but that is NOT the point of my short letter.

My point is this:

Recently, some anti-frum online portals got hold of the literature and have used it – of course – to mock, disparage, and otherwise make fun of the frum community.

Remember: This booklet was sent only to members of the frum community. Thus, if a blogger living out in Yehuputz (and yes, some of the anti-frum bloggers do live away from the main Torah metropolises) got hold of portions of the booklet to use as fodder with which to make fun of us, the frum community, then it had to come from someone in the frum community.

Do you comprehend? Someone within the frum community gave the material to anti-frum bloggers, clearly knowing that it will be used against us. Again, in case it isn’t clear, a frum person knowingly gave information to people who openly hate us, assisting them in trying to paint the frum community negatively.

And for the record, this is not the first time by any stretch. Much, if not most, of the information and details reported on by anti-frum bloggers originates from the frum community itself = from those among us who have no conscience and don’t care about the ramifications of serving as enablers to those who derive the greatest pleasure from mocking us.

How low can people go? Very low, it appears.

The bloggers may be tinokos shenishbu or lost souls. Who knows. But those living in our very midst, who send their kids to our children’s schools, who behind our backs are assisting the anti-frum haters out there in the online world, may just be a lot worse. We may or may not know who some of them are based on their behavior, based on their past comments, and based on their overall demeanors. These things are harder to hide than they think. When someone cares about the frum community, it shows. Even when they are frustrated, they won’t turn their backs on their fellow frum Yidden. Those who hate the “establishment” have a hard time keeping their agenda hidden. And they sink so, so low that they actually turn on their own, helping those who spend their every day slandering us and finding anything negative that they can about Torah joys.

Unfortunately, they are rarely called out in public for it.

They should be ashamed of themselves.

Do they realize how far they have sunk? For how much longer will they continue to aid, abet and support the anti-Torah forces online?

May Hashem have rachmonus on them and guide them back to the right path.

Until then, we must beware of those among us – in our very own communities – who are constantly stabbing us in the back.

© 2013 Newscenter


  1. The booklet was disgraceful, but the author is right: It is the farbisine, hateful people who help the bloggers who are guilty. I don’t know how we should penalize them. Throwing their kids out of schools will only hurt their schools. Perhaps we can publically ask people not to patronize their businesses. vehamayvin yavin. Weve had enough

  2. Rav Yisroel Salanter once said “not every thing that you think do you say and not every thing that you say do you write.” And we learn from Pirkei Avos that one is responsible for a Chillul Hashem whether his actions were deliberate or accidental. Mail sent in “frum” neighborhoods can easily be received by non-frum residents of that neighborhood.
    If the “back stabbers” in our community were aware of the consequences of the brochure shouldn’t the authors also been aware of the consequences.

  3. Sounds like the people who wrote the booklet are the ones to blame, not the people who received the booklet and shared it for laughs.

  4. As always, we are our own worst enemies. My relative works for a huge non-Jewish owned company. The only ones who complain when he takes off for Shabbos and Yom Tov, are the Mechalel Shabbos. They feel that by knocking others down they build themselves up. This applies to our everyday lack of bein adam lechaveiro too.

    Just beware everyone. What goes around, comes around. Speak up if you see someone wronging another person. If you keep quiet today, you’ll be the korban in the future.

  5. If the publication shouldn’t have been published then there were really two stabbers in this scenario. Two wrongs. Not just one. Which one is more anti-Torah? I couldn’t begin to decide. They both probably are and the overly-zealous amongst us should realize this, just as much as the fringe critics.

  6. maybe the message is just the opposite. maybe the message is that the frum community needs to realize that they have to be responsible for what they do because it crosses the line of decency even for many within the frum community.
    maybe the frum community has to ask itself why people within have no where else to turn to adequately deal with their misgivings in the community.

  7. rarely do i post a comment and BH i have stopped wasting my time reading some of the empty and clueless words that people post as comments but i must say that this article is an expression of what i have equally and more than feel anger hurt and contempt for those who freely blog their hate and anti “chareidism” falling prey to what all anti semites do smitten by a metaphysical hatred for Am Yisrael and negatively seeing what they want to see to point out some of our deep issues and flaws and faults. These are people who grew up in Frum homes and come from well respected Mechanchim and even our leaders. I am appalled by the venom they portray and wish i can drop my family life, Sedarim and work so i can properly respond and try to educate them at least to take a stand for Kvod Shamayim at the open flagrant inner attack on the H’ children sadly so by….his other children. H’ Yerachem. What is it that drives their hatred? They are so arrogant and sure they are right. Even this article will be copy and pasted on their facebook page or blog to ridicule without the thought passing through their minds that they perhaps are in the wrong. They claim the battle cries of Mi L’shem Alay with them the hero saving us from the clutches of problem we know to well and do not ignore (molestation, scams etc) of course there are their “religious” followers who daily concur as they tsk tsk and agree with how close minded and corrupt the international chareidi world has always been and will always be. Why? Why?
    These guys have every right to have questions and have every right to think but until they come up with a positive solutions that can help can they please stop airing their negativity and hate. Read through these blogs they are all full of questions and attacks not one offer a positive take on the Frum world and not one offer sound and positive behavioral advice. So what is the purpose ? Why do you feel the need to constantly rant to your liberal crowd backed up with their tsk tsks and self righteous proverbial nods. Why? What is the purpose? The answer is these people who are constantly preaching how close minded us Chareidim are are indeed narrow minded themselves! In their hedonistic drive for attention validation and honor it is they who love riling up crowds towards their drama. They feel a grandiose sense of heroism as it is they who have discovered the generations problems which really should be decided by our Gedolim but according to their arrogance our Gedolim are most of our generations problems. They champion the internet despite its apparent world wide attack on Kedushas Habayis and Taharas Yisrael why? Without the internet they are king without throne. Where else would they get their crowds? Where else would they become the important soothsayer dispensing (venomous) ideas and their narrow minded view of Am Yisrael and its follies to their wonderful flock of joined bitter negativity. I will end with one thing: Most straight thinking people will tell you that black hat Charidism or “ultra orthodox” Chassidim stand for something which the others do not. The fullfillment of Kiyum Hatorah to the highest of levels. They might be wrong in issues of working, having large families if they cannot afford it and there are sadly plenty of stories of scams,abuse and molestations and what not but look at our world today as we know it! Look at the issues of molestation, rape scams murders etc. Do the numbers even compare? Look at the Kedusha of the goals and aspirations of our families and how much chessed exist. Look at the endless positive values being passed down in all the Chareidi families. Count how many are raising wonderful balanced mentchlich children. Is it not amazing that in a Charedi home the conversations are about life, Chessed and relationships rather than the violence and other terrible stuff aired on the Kid channels?
    Why do you not try to blog and enumerate all the positive stuff that goes on in the Yeshivos and Bais Yacovs? Are you not aware that many of our Rebbeim and Moros are giants of people and role models par exec lance who labor tires-sly to pass down the Mesorah of Toras H’? Oy how i wish you were not smitten with the hateful perspective you have developed over time. Oy i wish we can sit down and brainstorm how we can help out the comparitavely small percentage of issues that have arisen in our generation of the “chareidi society” Yet you somehow manage to only add up the issues from all around the world to tie together a nice package of the false truth how you see and must paul revere to anyone who cares to listen. I am not a Carlebach fan but i wish we would have Shlomo alive today to teach you to see the beauty in all of H’ children. Shlomo labored to see that love in all the hippies and far flung souls but he would equally see that spark in a boy from Meah Shearim and a Bais Yackov girl from Lakewood and a Yeshiva Bocher from Bnei Brak. I give us all a Bracha that this siblings rivalry turned hate be viewed through Shlomo eyes and as we have heard about all our lives that it is our unity that counts so much in H’ eyes and so how much more so it should count in our eyes. I love you as my brother i just wished you would stop hurting me and our father in heaven.

  8. I completly agree the writer makes a very valid point that is and has been a very bothersome issue to many for a long time already thank you for bringing it to light

  9. There are some frum people out there who sincerely and honestly believe that every time someone publishes more ridiculous “tzniyus guidelines” that correspond neither with biblical or rabbinic law (De’Oraysah or D’Rabbanan) and are entirely the invention of askanim who claim to represent the “Frum” “Charedi” or “Yeshivish” (and represent the majority of none), these guidelines MUST be mocked or ridiculed, for otherwise it may become accepted erroneously as law.

  10. Some of the same people who suppport these anti-chareidi blogs would than turn around and kvell over the work of Lipman, Lapid and Bennett
    it’s sick

  11. “Do you comprehend? Someone within the frum community gave the material to anti-frum bloggers, clearly knowing that it will be used against us. Again, in case it isn’t clear, a frum person knowingly gave information to people who openly hate us, assisting them in trying to paint the frum community negatively.”

    Well said.

  12. This is a BIG BIG problem even in the chassidishe world.
    After all it says ?????? ??????? ??? ????
    The 2 worst anti-semitic blogs out there are run by 2 PEOPLE WITH YIDDISHE NAMES. The Nazi propoganda miniter Geoblles would kvel at their daily “scoops” against frum Jews.

  13. Face the facts: Nothing can be kept secret any more. That’s simply the situation, like it or not. Circle the wagons and “sha, sha” no longer work.

    The idea that booklet can be mailed to thousands of people, and that nobody but those
    people and their allies will find out about it, is too ridiculous to take seriously.

    Instead of constantly looking for scapegoats to blame, just accept the new situation and act accordingly. It will make you much happier.

  14. I agree with the sentiments of the author, but in order to be dan l’chaf z’chus, let us not accuse those passing along the material to bloggers et. al. of blatantly assisting the “frum-haters”. Might they feel that passing along publications could have a positive impact on the bloggers? The publication may or may not have been in poor taste to begin with, and the person sharing it with the blogger may be mistaken and/or naive in his feelings that passing it along could actually be the thing positively influence said “frun-hater”. But let’s look kindly on these feelings that everyone can be brought around to teshuva.

    On the other hand, if this publication is, in fact, in poor taste, perhaps the person passing it along intends for it to get out and thus the authors will (hopefully) learn of the dangers of such publications, and refrain from passing them along in the future. The frum individual is mistaken in his methods, and not correctly envisioning the potential consequences of passing it along to a “frum-hater”. However please recall that his intentions are good.

    Whether either of these two scenarios are correct, or if it is something else, let us please refrain from such bitterness and accusations of blatant disregard, and let us start being dan l’chaf z’chus. In that merit, we will be zoche to being judged favorably by others, which is the very thing that we frum yidden need in all the matzavim that are happening in our society (charedi draft, metzitza b’peh, etc.).

  15. hashem yeracheim
    the “backstabbers” however you want to call them are takeh the zevel of our society and also try to ruin our schools and mosdos
    if we know who they are, we must drive them out of our communities

  16. I totally do not understand the writer. You can’t mass-mail something and expect it to stay a secret, in many homes r”l there are troubled teens etc. and everything you say, not to mention mail, must be full with Kidush Hashem.

  17. Even though I live in Brooklyn, I did see the pamphlet on Shmiras eiynayin. I hear what he’s saying. It has some very good points. Look, we all have to be Michazek ourselves. I was told it ws mailed out to specific frum members of his Torah community where he lives. The author, davka, didn’t want it to go “public”, perhaps for the reasons metioned above. His intentions were good, I think. Just not sure what his beef with Shoprite is. The Shoprite here in Brooklyn, covers all the magazines by the check out counters. Anyway, I wish him good luck.

  18. the backlstabbers are worse than the bloggers. because the parade like they are fun unzere but behind closed doors they are detroyign our communities.
    Thank you T Felik

  19. expose the back stabbers once and for all
    dont’ let them feed the haters out there with anymore

  20. Maybe we can fight back in our own way. Let Matzav and other sites which represent the bnei torah agree to never again publish anything from any augthor who is featured on one of the anti-semitic sites. i have seen some overlap and it bothers me tremendously – Mi LaHashem Elai.

  21. maybe it’s a stupid question: but HOW does anyone know that there are such people?
    MAYBE, one of these “one of town” bloggers
    happened to be in Brooklyn (possible, no?)
    and read it for himself?

  22. unfortunately, everyone they has their own thoughts can print it. sending out a booklet as if it Torah when it is really a mockery, is the real disgrace. it is siluf hatorah.

  23. Well.. The publication that was mailed out in Lakewood, was something that should never have been published. Period. And that’s what the problem is ! What an idiotic publication.

  24. Have not seen the booklet or know of its existence YET an entire post blaming bloggers, is like blaming the victim (who caused themselves to get robbed, molested, harmed, injured etc.).
    HELLO, what about the author, publisher or distributer????? I would think more blame lays in their laps than anywhere else.

  25. Isn’t some famous line about blaming the messenger?

    I’m confused:
    if the problem is that the pamphlet
    shouldn’t have been published and we don’t stand behind it and its embarrasing- blame the printers and the mailers not the bloggers or the people who gave it to the bloggers

    If the problem is that we stand behind the publication and some bloggers are mocking it – what do you care? They mock everything

  26. the bums always give the bloggers material
    thats how the blggers survive
    I agree that they are even bigger rehayim than the bloggers
    may hashem protect us

  27. THE PAMPHLET WQAS A chilul hashem
    and the backstabbers who gave it to the bloggers are bigger ereshaim and will burn in gehennom in a hot stoking fire

  28. well we are at faul because on the call of asknim ,two years ago our gedolim issued a kol korah banning to advertise on a particluar loshon hora web site.b’h lots of advertisers puled their ads ,but leider some just ignored the psak of our gedolim .
    the web site keeps on distributing loshon hora rechilas and stam smutz againt am yisroel.
    please cant we listen to our gedolim

  29. Mimah nafshach!

    If the pamphlet was meant to enhance the belief system of the readers, why not spread the word veyter?

    If the pamphlet was so over the top that it ‘grossed out’ its intended readership, the publicity will hopefully avoid more high quality publications in the future.

    If so, why is tis being portrayed as stabbing in the back?

  30. It was probably some pour soul trapped in the community. it’s not stabbing in the back…. some one was pointing out what was wrong

  31. You handed them the so called instrument to stab you in the back with, There fore you really can’t blame anyone but yourselves.
    but I’m curious why you all don’t ask your selfrightious selves Why it is that they hate you so much?

    Self introspection is deffenately called for over here!