Warning: Monkey Loose in Lakewood

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monkeyOorah’s Auction may be short one important prize this year: The monkey that Oorah was offering (prize #35 on page 40 of Oorah’s auction book) escaped sometime early this morning and despite an intensive search by Oorah employees and hundreds of volunteers, no one has seen the little primate all day.

“There’s a chance that a member of PETA or another terrorist was behind the monkey’s escape,” said Yehudah Meth, a spokesman for the organization. “We’re still reviewing video tapes from our security cameras. But we don’t care who it was or how it happened: We just want him back. No questions will be asked.”

Oorah is offering a handsome reward for return of the monkey. Certainly more handsome than the monkey himself. They also suggest that you purchase your auction tickets asap before any more prizes get away.

{Noam Amdurski-Matzav.com Newscenter}


38 COMMENTS

  1. Even my kids agree that the monkey was the worst prize in the auction booklet. Probably will go to the jackpot winner. Why would you want a monkey?

  2. Yehuda Meth spokesman for Oorah calls someone who releases a monkey a terrorist? Id call him a prankster. Terrorists don’t release monkeys they blow up innocent babies women and children. Don’t forget that, and don’t trivialize and misuse the word.

  3. Midvar Sheker Tirchak. matzav editors, as well as Oorah all know that this “sensational” story was made up as a way to get people to purchase tickets. Using fabrications to raise “Tzedakah” funds is NOT the Torah way!

  4. to Zeb, 10:59,

    every child knows the difference between joking around and outright lying.

    and fyi, it says in the auction book by the monkey disclaimer that the prize is not for a live animal, but for a voucher to purchase one.

    duhh..of course it’s publicity. their auction, which funds programs like boyzone where i spend my summers (as an unpaid volunteer), deserves every dollar they make.

    even if all it did was put a smile on ur face, it was worth it.

    GO OORAH!!

  5. Monkeys can possibly be trained to help around the house. I heard of handicapped people who have monkeys to help them. I guess the one who wants a monkey will choose that prize number.(i could see myself having a monkey if I lived alone. It would keep me company. Of course I’d have to monkey proof my home.

  6. Goals of Hamas:
    -Kill all Jews
    -Capture West Bank
    -Release all Monkeys?!?!
    I get the feeling that Monkeys are NOT targeted by ists.

  7. This story is sheker; totally fabricated.
    OOORAH is NOT even raffling off a monkey. Here is a direct quote from their booklet.

    Prize 35: “Winner will receive a gift certificate for the value of the purchase of a capuchin, marmoset, squirrel, lemur or spider monkey. The value of the gift certificate shall not exceed $2,800. In states where licensing is required winner is responsible to license. Winner is responsible to comply with all regulations and requirements relating to monkey. Oorah makes no representation as to the legality in any state where winner may reside.
    Sponsored by: Anonymous”

    No monkey. Only a gift certificate for a monkey. And I hope the gift certificate is not running around Lakewood. Than again, if a five dollar bill can run around Lakewood, I guess so can a gift certificate!!

    Anyways, let’s keep away from sheker. In Adar people would assume this is a Purim joke. But not in Iyar. If you would like to post these type of stories, at least put a disclaimer that it is a paid or unpaid advertisement!!

  8. To comment #28–
    It proves that they are good at what they do and whoever just posted that has a hidden agenda.

  9. #28, just because they posted a joke to get people’s attention, doesn’t mean the whole organization is a joke! And all you people who are upset about Oorah’s “Sheker”, I can tell you one thing. You’ve never heard a joke in your life!

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