We Don’t Know “Why”


ny-post-sassoonBy Yeshiva Ateres Shimon

We Do Know “What”
We Do Know “When”
We Do Know “Where”
We Do Know “How”

We don’t know “why” Hashem chose to take a young beautiful family in a tragic way. It’s not our job to know “WHY”, it’s not even our job to try to figure out “WHY”. (see parable at the end)

When a tragedy occurs it is incumbent upon us to change our ways for the better. If we don’t, we are considered foolish. (Based on words of sages)

We therefore came up with some practical ideas for each of us to consider.
It is easy to feel the pain for the moment but let’s make a concrete commitment change the future for the better.

Take an idea or two and accept bli neder to do it.
Some people might want to do it for a specific amount of time, others might want to only take one or two things upon themselves. The key is to do something!

Don’t waste the message that Hashem is sending. Do not press ‘delete’ or ‘ignore’ on Hashem’s message. Let us unite and make a change together

We have compiled some examples, It is by no means a comprehensive list. Please feel free to use your own ideas. Every individual has to work on their service of Hashem in areas they feel necessary.

Please undertake a small Kabbalah as a merit for the Sasson Family
Practical Examples

WHAT – Look around for small things that can change the world for the better

1) Greet people with a smile.
2) Do not get upset during this stressful Pesach season.
3) Tell your wife/husband/parents/children that you appreciate them/ love them and show it.
4) Put your phone away for an hour and spend it with your family
5) Strengthen your tefilla say it slowly with kavana (for men daven with a minyan).

When- Our job is to know “when” to say yes (mitzvah) and when to say no (avaira).
Our neshoma is the purest part of us. Every mitzva beautifies it every avaira dulls the neshama.
1) Work on self control.
2) Know when to say yes and when to say no.
3) Be honest with ourselves.

Where- Let us re-sensitize ourselves and be honest about the places we don’t belong. Most of the time we rationalize to convince ourselves that we belong there when we really don’t. Let us try to stay away from places we don’t belong.

How – “How” do we change our actions so that we bring glory to Hashem’s Great Name.

1) Make a Kiddush Hashem to the rest of the world, Jew and non-Jew alike.
2) Set aside time every day to learn.
3) Say a bracha with proper kavana.
4) Say a bracha out loud.
5) Answer amen.
6) Every time you leave the house ask yourself “am I dressed the way the King’s child should be dressed”.
You may choose to sign up for a learning program (see box at bottom) that can be a merit for the Sasson family and a merit for all of Klal Yisroel

There are many parables to help realize that we don’t understand Hashems ways and we might never understand his ways. We have included two parables, but there are many more.

Parable #1 Imagine a professor giving a science lecture to a group of brilliant colleagues. In the room there is a 5 year old who has no idea what the professor is saying. Even though this 5 year old has potential to be a greater sceintest then the professor, yet at 5 years old he is clueless to what the professor is saying. How much more so when the “Professor” is Hashem who is infinitely greater than us. Is it a wonder that we don’t understand His ways? it would be a wonder to us that we can even sometimes have a clue to what Hashem wants from us. (Heard from Rabbi Shais Taub) Our lack of understanding does not make Hashem’s ways unjust. It is our minds that are incapable of comprehending the secrets of Hashem.

Parable #2- A child gets an infection and needs antibiotics. The doctor prescribes a very foul-tasting medicine. The doctor says if the child doesn’t take it she will die.

The child refuses to take the medication. The parents have no choice but to hold down the child, the father holds the hands and legs while the mother holds the face as they squirt this horrific tasting medicine down the child’s throat.

The child is crying and thinking what terrible hurtful parents she has, If the child can communicate she would tell her parents “You are the worst parents . Why are you doing this to me? You are holding me down, hurting me, squirting horrible liquid down my throat. You must hate me!”

The parents are crying and thinking we are only doing this out of ultimate love and care for you our beloved child. We know it hurts you we know you don’t like it but we also know it is saving your life.

Today’s tragedy hurts, today’s tragedy is so painful we can’t wrap our mind around it. It scares us to think about it. We can’t fathom the thought that it’s a medicine, but it is! Hashem is crying with us and saying, “My sons my daughters, I love you all so much! I know this medicine hurts but one day you’ll understand.”

We pray that the day comes very quickly. May we merit the days that we don’t need any more “medicine” and may we see the ultimate redemption with the coming of Moshiach Tzidkainu and the Geulah Shelaima bimehaira beyomaiynu Amen!

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  1. I love your parables on how we don’t understand Hashem’s ways. I would like to add two more that my Rov always uses.
    Every shul has one individual that is the “know-it-all”, the smartest and most knowledgeable about everything (at least so he thinks, ask that person to explain (a) How does a fax machine work that you place a paper into it in America and an exact replica comes out of a machine in Israel. How are these images transported thru wires. (b) How do coils heat a broiler and coils cool a refrigerator. In all these instances they will motion and wave with their hands and explain about wiring but gurnisht they will have no true understanding of how it works.

    We simply do not understand and do not want to be called up to the principal’s office to get the real explanation. We TRUST HIM. This is the most fundamental belief and tenet in yiddishkeit.

  2. Personally these parables are for the person suffering
    To try to internalize everyone else should be DOING …many
    Options were given in the article!! Everyone else should be crying
    Davening begging Hashem for moshiach and a complete refuah
    Shlaima for the mom and sister/ daughter . When a horror of any magnitude
    Happens especially this unthinkable I don’t think
    We should go anywhere near WHY??!!! We must sympathize
    Help and do!!!!may this be the last of any such news
    May we see this month of Geulah in actuality!!
    May it be this year In yerushalayim !!!!