Donald Trump to Tackle the Shidduch Crisis

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The GOP frontrunner has set his sights on something much bigger than immigration or ISIS. He’s seeking to address the shidduch crisis in the frum community.

Today, at an event covered exclusively by, Donald Trump announced a new initiative, “Make Shidduchim Great Again.” His goal is to improve the shidduch parsha and expedite the making of shidduchim.

“We will win, win, win,” Trump told a crowd at a rally held earlier today at the home of noted shadchan Freddie Friedman.

“We will win so much in shidduchim that you’ll get tired of winning,” said The Donald.

Speed-dating is one of the ideas being proposed by Trump, who said that he’ll “build a wall if he has to” to get this done.

It was unclear what the presidential candidate meant by that statement.

“I will melt the freezer with these bare hands if I have to in order to help singles,” said Trump. “I have friends in high places. We will get this done. I promise.”

Trump pointed to the dismal failure of President Barack Obama to address the crisis.

“We have a president who doesn’t have the guts to call the crisis by its name,” the billionaire told after the event. “As president, I will change it all.”

Referring to his Jewish daughter, he said, “I know firsthand about the Jewish dating world. My maidele is married, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about every single Jewish girl and boy out there. When they win, we win. When we win, they win. It’s all about winning.”

Addressing his audience, Trump mentioned some other ideas he is working on, including, but not limited to, instituting Sefashkenaz as the nusach in all shuls to bring about achdus.

“I bring people together,” said Trump. “That’s what I do. I can’t help it even if I tried. I’m a uniter.”

{ Newscenter}


  1. If you want a shidduch crisis, elect Donald Trump.

    The flavor of the wine will be so bad that our unmarried children will stay in bleak looks for the rest of the leased years of the White House.

    Then we will not know who will marry.

    It’s that bad.

    Believe me.

  2. Anyone who believes anything
    That any politician says -especially before
    They are elected PLEASE contact me
    ASAP I have a bridge to sell you at the best
    Possible price First come first serve

  3. What does the Donald say about the frightening Age-gap theory? Does he have a plan that would resonate with all segments of the electorate?

  4. I don’t find this funny.

    Trump is self-centered and arrogant. He’s the antithesis of what a good spouse should be.

    • Unless he had a conversion in his senior citizenhood, as he’s had on many positions.
      And as far as his position on the age gap, I guess the question you should pose is, how much younger should a trophy wife be? Is this in actually years or proportionate to one’s age?


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