As many parents know, the years that sit directly in front of when their child will leave for college are both exciting and nerve wracking, for both parties. There are plans to make, but also fun to be had, the need to let your child spread their wings, but also the necessity to support and assist them as they walk this new and unknown path. Helping your child prepare for college can be a wonderful bonding experience for you two and reshape your relationship as it transitions into this new stage of life. Below are some ways that you can be involved in their college prep without stifling their independence.
Have Money Talks
No doubt the biggest element of a college education is paying for it. Having open and honest discussions with your child regarding the financial plan for college is crucial. Especially if your child is going to be responsible for any portion of their education or living expenses, you will want to allow them time to determine how they will earn or secure these funds, not to mention the opportunity to learn about how to go about this. If you are planning to fund their education entirely or even in part, you should be up front about that as well, creating openness regarding personal finance is a great step forward as they build their independent relationship with money.
A combination of funding outlets is quite common when paying for college. Many parents opt to contribute what they can and have their child cover what is left. If you have the desire to do this but are not sure you can, think about money that you have that is being held in places other than your traditional bank account. If you have a life insurance policy, you may have some options to cash it in to receive a lump sum of money that you can gift to your child for their education. Selling to a third party also means that you are able to benefit from a policy lapse as opposed to having to surrender your entire policy due to delinquent payments that may occur if you stretch your budget too thin to pay for college out of pocket.
Manage Expectations
The chances that your child’s expectations regarding college are fully developed and aligned with reality are slim. Keep in mind though that this fact is perfectly in keeping with their level of life experience up to this point. You, as the adult, with more life behind you, can help them prepare themselves mentally by talking about all the different layers of a full college experience. With their studies being the top priority, listen to them if they are expressing concerns about the coursework they will face. Encourage them to take advantage of college prep courses where they get ahead and learn things like time management, how to train essay writing skills, and even different options for potential majors and degrees.
Stay Available
Doing everything you can to help your kid prepare for college is not necessarily a period that has a determined time limit. Yes, you want to begin this preparation during their high school years but keep in mind that they day they move into their dorm should not be the end of your involvement. For many parents finding a balance between being involved and letting them fly is difficult, so pay attention to your specific dynamic and situation and adjust your involvement accordingly. Also do not forget to continue to be available for things un-related to their studies during this phase of life. A lot of change happens in college and being a safe place to land for your kid is like giving a gift of the highest value.
