Dear Matzav Inbox,
I am writing in sheer disbelief at the absurdity of what has become of our community’s values, exemplified by the craze for $10 Chanukah donuts, now offered in some 30 different varieties.
I cannot begin to express how utterly ludicrous this is. What has happened to us? What a busha. A society that once prided itself on avoiding unnecessary extravagance, we are being sold overpriced donuts as if they’re some kind of status symbol. And for $10, no less! This is a joke.
Actually, I wish it was. It’s not.
This is an embarrassment to our people. It’s a disgrace.
How is it that we’ve come to this point? Is this really what we value now? Over-the-top, empty displays that mock the essence of Chanukah? Instead of the ruchniyudiske Yom Tov, people now indulge in overpriced, hollow novelties?!
On top of all this absurdity, we hear endless complaints about the skyrocketing cost of tuition. Schools are charging higher and higher rates, and every parent is scrambling to cover the bills.
That’s true. And it’s a crisis. However….
If you’re one of the foolish people who are embarrassing themselves by spending $10 on a single donut this Chanukah, then you had better be paying your full tuition.
Let’s not kid ourselves here. If you have the luxury to spend money on such stupidity that is nothing but a slap in the face to any normal breathing neshamah, then you should have no issue covering the full cost of your child’s education. No discounts, no financial aid requests.
You can afford $10 donuts? You can certainly afford tuition. Figure it out.
There is a staggering disconnect between the priorities and hashkafos of certain members of our frum community and the reality we face in raising our children as bnei Torah.
We complain about tuition, about how it’s too high, about how we can’t possibly afford it, about how groceries, and this, and that, and the third thing are all too expensive—we love kvetching—and yet we’re more than willing to splurge on completely unnecessary and wasteful indulgences.
The hypocrisy is staggering.
The line between what’s necessary and what’s indulgent has never been clearer. Let’s start living with the same integrity we claim to want for our children, and stop pretending that $10 donuts don’t come with consequences.
Fressing up? Pay up. Period.
Remember what Chanukah is about.
And it’s not about $10 donuts.
Sincerely,
Nauseated
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The donut man wants to buy a fancy house too
Why does it bother you personally? Someone wants to make Parnassah selling these donuts and you have to ruin it for them? You can make $20 donuts and sell those or if you want to be helpful start a chessed project but putting people down doesn’t help anyone.
because extravagance is not a simple choice in a vacuum.
Its a trait that is ugly, has unintended consequences, and gets worse as time goes on.
I totally see the connection between a random $10 splurge and full tuition. stop being a police. and yes i pay full tuition.
Thank you letter writer! Smack on! I’m going to buy my $10 donuts and then I’m going to kvetch about tuition and also, of course, at the Shaatnez testing prices.
And don’t think donuts are an antibiotic that requires 3xday for 8 days. The hole is the best part of the whole thing.
Please if you can afford $10 doughnuts you should be paying my tuition as well. A doughnut should cost a $1 to a $1.50 max. If someone can afford to pay almost 10x that for some fancy doughnut please help me pay my tuition I can barely afford necessities and my kids will probably be getting one or two doughnuts over Chanukah because that’s all I can afford. And to those curious, yes I do take a tuition discount and even then I’m struggling. I won’t indulge in extravagant mishugasim until I can afford take care of all my financial obligations in their entirety without discounts.
Good luck with finding doughnuts for $1.50.
With the price of eggs having gone sky high manufacturers can’t afford to make such cheap doughnuts.
While $10.00 is somewhat steep in today’s inflationary market it’s not as bad as it sounds.
I am not going to comment on this article itself, but I looked up a kosher bakery here in Canada and (semi)-“fancy” kosher donuts in this city in Canada described as “freshly baked daily and prepared on site. All our items are PAREVE, Pas Yisroel & Kemach Yoshon” is priced at $2.00 Canadian ($1.40 U.S.) each. While places that are generally more expensive to live may have higher prices, there is no reason that any “normal” place should have higher prices.
I’ll pay $10 for tuition too if it makes you feel better- who gave you the right do decide what someone else should pay for tuition? Buying any food costs $10- heard of inflation? Simchas Yomtov? Surely you believe that Hashem pays back everything we spend for Shabbos, so I am sure you are not upset about people overspending for Shabbos. An average supper costs how much? alot. An average lunch costs how much? alot. So if someone skips one lunch meal and buys a donut instead, calm down. A frelichin Chanuka
No one buys a single doughnut if they’re paying tuition so it’s not just $10, you have to multiply that by members of the family. No עניין of simchas yom tov with food on Chanukah. Unlike Shabbos where Hashem tells us לוו עלי ואני פורע on Shabbos. Barely anyone will skip a meal and get by with just a doughnut; it’s always in addition to the meal. Americans only started connecting doughnuts to Chanukah in the last few years because most are Ashkenazim. So, your argument doesn’t hold water (or oil, as the case may be.)
Preposterous letter. The premise of the letter writer is that he is living the goldie lox life. Just right. He does things not to fancy and not to shabby. It is yenem that is over the top. Nice. If someone would have told this yids zeideh in 1950 that his einikel would have not one but two cars, his zeideh would have said, such gashmiyus and moisros! But of course, it is a different era and having two cars is a given today. The same with the donuts. Todays kids are growing up where extreme luxury is the norm. Do you see the ads in the Jewish publications? Exotic yogurt, designer pajamas for babies, “visiting” gedolim in Europe because there are no dead tzaddikim buried in NY or NJ. Todays kids wear designer glasses, eat out in restaurants for supper twice a week, go on exotic expensive bein hazmanim trips and are surrounded by incredible glitz and glamour. A 10 dollar donut is crazy in my world and yours. Unfortunately not for todays kids. I am sure that if I scrutinized your lifestyle I would find some of your purchases to be outlandish. But you would reason that it is “normal”. You live the life exactly as Hashem intended you to. It is someone else that is doing it wrong. You are not the dayan and you don’t decide the din. Don’t scrutinize others. Now enjoy your dried out sugar free gluten free blueberry donut.
I couldn’t have said it better. LOL!
And don’t forget all the families that never miss an opportunity to go to hotels. It used to be just Pesach, but now every Chag plus yeshiva week results in obligatory trips. I’ll happily be spending $3.50 per donut at a bakery in my neighborhood that makes phenomenal donuts.
Really?
So everyone who buys a silver chanukiah should pay full tuition? Use one of the simple ones!
everyone who has a silver esrog case should pay full tuition? Use the box it came in!
everyone who has their own megilas Esther should pay full tuition? Use a chumash!
everyone who has a silver seder plate should pay tuition? Buy a cheap one!
everyone that eats out should pay full tuition? Eat at home!
everyone who buys coffee at starbucks should pay full tuition? Buy simple coffee!
Why is the line a 10 dollar donut single extravagance?
Anyone who splurges on anything is essentially wealthy enough to pay full tuition?
Seems like a silly hill to die for.
Let people enjoy their fancy donut, don’t be such a humbug.
I love these comments. LOL!
I have never bought a $10 donut, but I did prepay half a year’s tuition in advance.
do i need to eat peanut butter sandwiches as well
how about watch me in the grocery and decide if i can buy meat over chicken and what type of meat
maybe you should tell me how much candy my kids can eat or what snacks they can take to school – no bissli or kliks if you dont pay full tution.
Also the school puts a up 10-15 million dollar building and your gonna tell me what i can eat – BE QUIET!
The writer of this article is bitter and is mixing in all his problems that he thinks are with what others are doing.
The Problem is himself – Please look at yourself and be quiet!
Nope. If your going to embrace extravagance, don’t dare ask for a break in tuition.
Of course its my business
A 10 – 15 million dollar building has you upset?
You apparently dont know what buildings cost.
You can disagree with the author, but if your indignant at his promise, i think its you need to clarify some priorities my friend.
And what about hand shmura matzos?… if I pay for that then I need to pay full tuition?
Oh what a comparison. The shmura matza is the perfect example of spending more for kvod shomayim and not yourself. Can you say the same when you”re eating a donut?
Or those esrog גנבים.
The letter writer makes a valid overall point, but it’s not so straightforward. First of all, the full tuition price may have been calculated based on carrying some of those who the yeshiva knows will actually be paying far less. Second of all, why begrudge someone who gets a tuition break a minimal indulgence? I think we all agree that someone asking for a tuition break shouldn’t buy a Lexus, but can’t they occasionally go on a chol hamoed trip, get ice cream, candy, or a $10 donut? FWIW, I’ve never paid nearly that much for a donut and think it’s a ridiculous extravagance, but let’s fargin a minimal indulgence even for those who get tuition breaks.
Have you ever driven a Lexus? I own one. Worth every penny
Owning a smartphone is 100 times worse than buying a $10 donut. Smartphone owners are going straight to gehenom. Donut eaters, at least, make a Bracha reshona and a Bracha achrona.
It is absolutely wrong to state that all owners of smartphones are, Chas V’Shalom, going to Gehinom. If the Internet features of their phones are properly filtered so they cannot access anything bad, then they most probably are pretty good people. In the context of the discussion here, the question for them is, are these super-fancy phones, which cost huge $$$$ amounts (several hundred $$$$ more than a $10 donut), really a necessity for them or an unneeded extravagance.
Besides the smartphone issues of open Internet access and extravagance (with their huge $$$$ cost) mentioned above, there are two other extremely grave serious problems with smartphones. One is that ALL of the super-modern-super-high-tech-wireless-smart-devices (computers, cell phones, iPhones, smart meters, etc.) of our current world emit large amounts of a very heavy electromagnetic radiation (EMR) that can be severely harmful — including causing Yenem Machla — to quite a lot of people.
As these devices are often needed though, Boruch Hashem, there are ways to use them and still avoid much of the possible harm. First of all, NEVER talk or listen to a cell or iPhone with it right up next to your ear or your mouth, for the EMR there going straight into the head can cause Yenem Machla in the brain, Rachmana Litzlan. Similarly, never place a cell or iPhone in a pocket near the waist, for the EMR there can harm the nearby reproductive organs, Rachmana Litzlan.
Furthermore, there are special mini-devices that greatly antidote EMR; these tiny items are either attached to a device to decrease & nullify the EMR being emitted; or can be worn by a person to protect him from the often present surrounding EMR. One company that I know about that makes these is called “GIA”; (its website, “giawellness,” is a com site)
Excellent points. Thank you for publicizing them.
At least half of klal yisroel has smartphones, I’ll be in good company
The other major problem with ALL of the super-modern-super-high-tech-wireless-smart-devices (computers, cell phones, iPhones, smart meters, smart refrigerators, etc.) is that the so-called “smart” aspect of them (of course, they are not “smart” at all; they are just hunks of metal & silicon & other materials that conduct electric currents) is that they RECORD everything around them and TRANSMIT those recordings. That they record everything around them, means literally EVERYTHING: Everything you say, everything you write, every time you turn on a light, every time you turn off a light, every time you open your refrigerator, every time you close your refrigerator, every time you take out a carton of milk, every time you put back the carton of milk AND how much milk did you used up from that carton, every other item that you took out of the refrigerator, and, when you put it back, how much of it had you used. Where you are now, where you are in an hour from now, where you are in two hours from now, in what direction are you going, which places did you go to, how many times do you go to those places.
And ALL of these recordings of everything you do is transmitted to receiving devices in offices somewhere. Whose offices????? The phone company’s????? The electric company’s????? The water company’s????? The refrigerator company’s????? Your automobile’s manufacturing company’s????? The government’s????? Which government’s????? The city’s government’s????? The state’s government’s????? The federal government’s?????
The bottom line is that OTHER PEOPLE, and probably, QUITE A LOT OF other people, are seeing the recordings of everything you are saying and doing and where you are going and coming. And very many of these “other people” — probably most of them — are not “good” people, who may likely make “decisions” about you and instigate “actions” against you that are not “good” for you.
It is certainly quite noteworthy that I am writing this on the first day of Chanuka. For, BE’H, please think back into the events of the Chanuka episode, about those many Syrian-Greek officers and their many Misyavnim Jews who (extremely tragically) collaborated with stop them in trying to force us Jews to, Chas V’Shalom, stop keeping Torah. Please realize that they could not have even begun to dream of such hyper-advanced technology (that exists now) that would have enabled them to closely watch us. Of course, if they WOULD have known about it, they would have most absolutely have desperately wanted it!!
Throughout our history, each of the evil hyper tyrants that we faced would have most certainly wanted to have this super technology to have been able to so closely watch us. So, we must realize a gigantic “BORUCH HASHEM” that they did NOT have it, and we were thus able to “hide” from them and survive.
Now though, that this super-super-super-watching-us-and-everyone technology is more and more setting in, it is totally fitting that at the demonstration against forced vaccines held two years ago in Washington, DC, the prominent lawyer Robert F Kennedy, Jr., chillingly warned that there is, Rachamana Litzlan, coming a situation where “there will be no place to hide”!!
Therefore, it is clear that the “smart” way is TO AVOID the “smart” way!! There are certain phone companies that make iPhones that DO NOT track you. If your electric co offers you discounts IF you will let them install a “smart meter,” decline the offer!! When purchasing a new car or a new refrigerator or a new home heating/cooling system, carefully check the details; if there are any “smart” features, do not buy it!! Look for and insist on no “smart” technology!!
May Hashem Protect Us All!!
i completely agree
sent from my iPhone
I personally think that 10$ is a steal but owning a smartphone is a scam. The thing with donuts is that you clearly see what your getting when you buy them, but smartphones dont always do that. I think the issue is that smartphones should be used by everyone so everyone will know how good it is. I believe smartphones is the key to success. These days, you cant have a good relationship with hashem if you dont have a smartphone. the siddur app on my phone comes in clutch whenever i miss a minyan (everyday) and also we wouldnt be able to have this great discussion if not for a smartphone.
At the end of the day, it will be a plain pine box and no one will mention doughnuts or vacations.
Incorrect. Pine boxes are expensive and, again, only the rich and famous can afford one.
Just like with everything in yiddishkeit, we grab onto the tafel and leave the ikar. The donut thing is a shtus that started out predominantly in EY and has become the central theme of the yuntif Chanukah here as well.
What are we teaching our kids?
Doughnuts are not a shtus that started out predominantly in EY but to Sephardim what potato latkes is to Ashkenazim. So please don’t knock their mesores.
To clarify, since I must have written unclearly, it is a shtus here in America that was just copied from EY. I’ve grown up around sefardim in America all my life, it was never an american thing like it’s become.
Again we go conflating two issues.
questionIs overspending and overindulgence an issue? AnswerAbsolutely.
questionShould it be dealt with?
AnswerAbsolutely.
questionDo schools – and all Jews – need to have an attitude of ‘we need to save and help every child we possibly can’?
AnswerAbsolutely.
questionCan we simply leverage a Jewish child in order to get something out of the parents? AnswerAbsolutely NOT.
LOL, Preposterous framing of that last question. Really shameful in my opinion.
No one is leveraging anybody. Stop the libel.
You want to say tuitions are extortionary? Show me your proof of the numbers.
Till then, try not to blame those who bend over backwards to help our community.
Kudos to the writer. It’s good to see that there are still some people in the tzibbur with old-fashioned values and sensibilities.
“our community’s values” – there is no single community. And we are also in a time and environment where freedom, individuality, and doing your own thing is stressed. That explains what is going on here. As it says in sefer Shoftim, בימים ההם אין מלך בישראל איש הישר בעיניו יעשה.
I am heading right now to find $10 donuts or more if possible
I’ll sell you a $1.99 donut for $25 if your goal is just to look for an expensive donut.
I think that anybody paying $10 for a donut…their parents should demand a refund for their tuition, full or otherwise, and then also take a good hard look in the mirror.
Buying $10 donuts is not a result of extravagant spending, it’s a result of poor chinuch.
no, its not.
There is a prevelant belief among many that the a person is the product of their chinuch.
That is ABSOLUTELY false.
Chinuch, both from parents and educators are simply the trappings, the tools, that are given to an individual to help them on their way. What a person does with that? “ain hadavar taloiy elah bi”.
Its up to you, theres no one to blame.
From the comments it seems that we unfortunately have a bigger issue than the issue which is written about. For people to not even realize the issue at hand, and not to correlate the concepts, is simply baffling. Moshiach is knocking at the door, will we let him in?? From the many comments posted, I’m afraid to answer. We need a yeshua fast.
Don’t worry about משיח so much. We waited this long, a few more donuts later, nothing is going to happen. For the rich and famous, galus is gishmak. Still have to cross a few more taavos of my bucket list.
Did Matzav.com ever publish the video of Reb Avremel Ausband ZT”L calling out private planes?
Please.
Full tuition is $27K per child.
I pay $13K because I’m not rich.
If I want a $10 donut, I will buy one.
Maybe I’d like that $10 donut, but im paying full $27k covering your tuchus and im forgoing that donut. I guess it tastes better down your throat than mine.
The point of the article, was that people should view their tuitions obligations as such, obligations. And their luxuries, as such, luxuries. The issue isn’t the one $10 donut.
Language alert. You might have ‘won’ your argument. Though, all decent people have tuned you out due to your language.
I don’t know if someone that spends $10 on a doughnut should pay full tuition – he should have his head examined. Can’t blame the bakery – they try to make money and will sell anything to any idiot that wastes his money.
But what message (or chinuch) are you giving your kids when you throw away Yiddish gelt? Is that a good cause? It’s not like spending l’kovod Shabbos – that is a Mitzva (I am not referring to meat boards and expensive liquor c”v). This has no Yiiddsh value and surely is not representative of what Chanuka stands for.
“I met the enemy and it is us”.
Well said. Why anonymous? If you have something smart to say, why hide?
How about the price of “שמורה מצה”?
It’s obvious that a pound of it costs about 2 or 3 dollars to produce if even that.
Spending upwards of $30 for it is a שאלה of an איסור מן התורה of ולא תונו איש את עמיתו.
Now, while it’s true that מצה on the FIRST (or BOTH) nights of the Seder Leil Pesach is a Mitzvah , eating doughnuts on Chanukah is of zero value whatsoever.
The same “Yeshivas” who are earning MILLIONS of dollars yearly, are also teaching out children that there is a major connection between doughnuts and Chanukah.
Of course, there is only a very insignificant connection between lighting the Menorah and Chanukah, as Chanukah is a military victory and NOT a commemoration of the נס פח השמן (please read ועל הניסים carefully.)
Can we please expose the scam of owners of schools that buy property, then fundraisers for a building and then a refinance said property that the loan was their name and they pocket the money while the school saddled with the mortgage
Stop judging. That’s all I can say. For all you know maybe the people buying the $10 doughnuts are paying full tuition. Why are you jumping to conclusions? Aside for the fact that $10 is a few less zeros than full tuition so I’m not sure what your even talking about
I love these people that get so triggered. Everyone is allowed to enjoy themselves and treat themselves to something nice. Nothing against that in Judaism. And buying these donuts supports Jewish people making a living in their field that isn’t an easy one.
Whoever wrote this should be living in a cheap apartment wearing clothing from Walmart and driving a used sedan from 1992 if that’s what they think is Judaism’s view on luxury is.
Korns in kikar shaboss 1.50 a doughnut
Reminds me of when I was 10-11 years old. An adult man would take a few of us boys on trips. One time we went to a minor league hockey game. I forget the cost but it was pretty cheap. Maybe $5 or so. I saw an older gentleman wearing a worn out sweater with holes in it. I asked the man who took us, “Why would this man spend money to watch a hockey game when he can’t even afford a new sweater?”
The man said something I’ll never forget, “Just because you’re poor it doesn’t mean you can’t spend a few dollars on something you enjoy.”
I don’t like this whole $10 Mishigas & would never buy one. I also think too many parents see tuition as “Optional” or at the bottom of the pile of “Bills to pay”
But if within reason buying something special to create happy family memories or a love for Chanukah I have no objection to it.
The biggest problem with the $10 donuts isn’t the price. The problem is that they usually don’t taste that good. We create this whole hype around it just because they cost so much. I think that is also a big problem when raising our kids, we send them this message that just because something is more expensive then its better. I don’t know the exact price of a Schreiber’s donut nowadays but its probably less then $10 and its sill the best and it always will be. We need to get this idea out of our systems, this artisanal stuff isn’t that great and we need to get back to actually thinking for ourselves not just living for the hype. These donuts should be spoken about for the first year they are around and after that back to basic AKA Schreiber’s. My plead to the yeshivas that some are paying full tuition to, is that we must teach the next generation a sense of thinking for themselves and not just being a sheep.
Where are comment that was on,has disappeared
i completely agree
sent from my iPhone