Dear Matzav Inbox,
As the school year approaches, families everywhere are busy readying their children for a new academic journey. Backpacks are being packed, uniforms are being pressed, and there’s a palpable excitement in the air. But as we prepare for another year of learning and growth, there’s a deep, aching pain that needs to be addressed—a pain that isn’t spoken about nearly enough.
We have a crisis on our hands. A crisis of children—precious, innocent children—who are falling through the cracks of our education system.
And I’m not just talking about a handful of exceptions or rare cases. No, this is an epidemic, a heartbreaking reality that is quietly unraveling in front of us, affecting countless boys and girls who are being spit out by a system that cannot cater to their needs.
These are not children who simply need to try harder or be more disciplined. These are children who, for various reasons—whether they struggle with learning, have been picked on, have faced social challenges, or, tragically, have endured abuse—are being left behind. These are children who have been turned off from Yiddishkeit, who feel that they do not belong, who are lost and adrift in a sea of expectations that they simply cannot meet.
The boys throw off their yarmulkas and the girls pull on their pants – and parents are left in tears.
This is not an isolated issue. It’s not just a problem that affects a few unfortunate souls. Visit a Kesher Nafshi event, and you’ll see for yourself—hundreds upon hundreds, if not thousands, of parents dealing with the agony of watching their children slip away. Call Nesivos in Lakewood and ask how many cases they’re handling—cases of children who have been chewed up and spit out by a system that, despite its many strengths, is failing them in profound and painful ways.
Speak to Rabbi Chaim Abadi, Rabbi Daniel Kalish, or the incredible heroes of Shalvah High School for girls, and you’ll hear stories that will make your heart break—stories of children in pain, children who feel abandoned, children who feel that they have no place in the very community that is supposed to nurture and protect them.
We have a wonderful chinuch system. We are blessed with extraordinary rabbeim, teachers who are devoted, caring, and passionate. In many ways, we have the best education system we’ve ever had. But it’s not enough to be the best. It’s not enough when we are losing our children in droves. It’s not enough when Yiddishe kinder are slipping through our fingers.
Something needs to change. We need to confront this crisis head-on. We need to acknowledge that our system, as good as it may be, is not working for everyone. We need to find a way to reach every child, to make sure that no one is left behind, to ensure that every child feels valued, loved, and understood.
The time for ignoring this issue is over. The time for sweeping it under the rug has passed.
We need to act, and we need to act now, before we lose another precious neshamah.
Sincerely,
Someone Who’s Been There
To submit a letter to appear on Matzav.com, email [email protected]
DON’T MISS OUT! Join the Matzav Status by CLICKING HERE. Join the Matzav WhatsApp Groups by CLICKING HERE.
The opinions expressed in letters on Matzav.com do not necessarily reflect the stance of the Matzav Media Network.
Do you have a suggestion to something that is already known? Would you be willing to get involved if someone did? Perhaps changing the system would be helpful, but how would you fight the tide if someone had an idea?
I think we need to take back the chinuch from the system. Chinuch and self worth must come from the home. If it is given at school , what a great bonus. Those who rely on any system to educate, inspire and build kids are likely going to be disappointed. Send our kids to school so long as they are benefitting. Once they aren’t or the losses are outweighing the gains, take them back. It takes creativity to educate and nurture from home – but it’s doable – and with the proper perspective and enjoyment that is possible – can yield greater results than anything imagined in school. The yeshivos and BYs try really hard. But systems are limited by their nature.
Uh… don’t we have Nesivos, Rabbi Chaim Abadi, Rabbi Daniel Kalish, or the incredible heroes of Shalvah High School? Aren’t there may other great schools and programs for what you call failing. As far as I know these opportunities are there for those who don’t fit in other schools. Why do you call them failing? These are great answers to the problem of those children. Our beautiful chinuch that also addresses children that need a Waterbury or Shalva and BH we have may such schools in our system is not failing! Just don’t look at them as losers and failures an you too can see the beauty of our successful chinuch system.
so instead of pouring money elsewhere, keep the money “in house” and invest in OUR children. there are plenty of smart caring Rebbeim and educators, that with the right resources, can GET to ALL our kids.
Just wondering that if we were to have the most superb chinuch system humanely possible, then there would be no Bechira and everyone would be a tzaddik gomur?
Don’t people have free choice?
Menashe had a father Chizkiyahu and grandfather Yeshayahu Hanavi; I’ll assume that had the best chinuch and nonetheless he was a terrible rasha.
Call the office of MASK – 718-758-0400. Ask how many parents have been helped by their services, referrals, support, etc. This organization is around for a good bit more than 20 years. I wonder if they have statistics that break down the numbers by year or range of years.
Call Amudim. They are more likely to have statistics that will probably reveal some shocking areas of increased need for services.
The letter writer writes about a very real crisis. It is true! Just look around in the streets and if you don’t see it, you are being blinded by naivete. I’ve been a rebbi for nearly 20 years and I see the issues. Our school system as it is is not equipped to deal with the issues. Funds are a fair part, naivete is a fair part and the inability to pinpoint and tackle the issues when they are in their developing stages. Our focuses are not on the right things. We need to focus more on the Aibershter and ולדבקה בו. We are too focused on our curriculum. My menahel will cut my head off if I don’t complete the planned curriculum guide. איי I’ve spent precious time bringing ‘שמחו בה lessons etc., he doesn’t appreciate the value of it and I need to do my job or lose it. He is the one who hired me and he wants things done his way or out to the highway! It’s sad but that’s the reality. More in-service days where we can collaborate and work on methods to diminish the crisis the writer talks about and discuss with others would be so helpful. I think there should also be more focus on the individual talmid that there is today. Rebbeyim should ask for the names of their talmidim and daven for their hatzlacha
Build a Yeshiva for these children. Then let us know how you did.
Every Bais Yaakov and Cheder needs to have an in-house guidance counselor per grade. The children that need the extra help will get the services they need. Disregarding social/emotional needs in the chinuch system leads to bad places. We are training our children’s minds to be computers but don’t pay attention to the hearts.
The writer inadvertently explains much of the problem.
“and the girls pull on their pants”
In Eretz Yisroel, there are many frum and ehrlich women who wear pants. But by drawing a bright line and calling these people off the derech, the author is effectivley creating much of the problem. If you tell children that by drinking non-cholov yisroel or wearing pants that they are a sheygitz or shiksa, you are essentially pushing them out the door even further and harder. Why even try to continue to be shomer shabbos and kashrus if I am already a shiksa just for wearing pants.
I don’t know which planet you’re referring to that in the Eretz Yisroel there “many” “frum and ehrlich” women wear pants. (The only pants that were ever permitted were the pantaloons worn in Teiman that had so much fabric that it was impossible to tell that they were pants.) Story time – or maybe delusion time – is over. Non cholov Yisroel was permitted by Reb Moshe Feinstein zt”l under certain conditions.
Thank you for proving my point
Make yeshiva and Torah as gishmak as camp
Make sure no child left behind dontc teach only the top 10 boys in the class and ignore the others so you can say I have the best yeshiva.
The author makes it sound like this is a brand new thing. The fact is we’ve been struggling with this in one way or another ever since Gd appeared to Moses on Mount Sinai. The fact is we do the best we can. Some people are better at doing things than others.
I am concerned about the list of people you mentioned because, for example, I don’t think it’s acceptable to go into Hardee’s to buy a tuna fish sandwich.