Dear Matzav Inbox,
The recent report on Matzav.com about the closing of the Kingda Ka roller coaster brought to mind an issue that has bothered me for years.
In our community, we take great care to uphold high standards of tznius. We maintain separate seating with mechitzos at events, weddings, and gatherings to protect and honor our values. And yet, when it comes to amusement parks, we seem to have forgotten these principles altogether.
Think about it—our families, young boys and girls, men and women, all standing in line together, squeezed into roller coaster seats without a second thought. We seem to dismiss the reality that mixed seating in these settings is no different than mixed seating at a public event. We’ve all witnessed the situations where friends or siblings scramble to sit together, while the very values we instill in them daily seem to be set aside for the sake of “fun.”
Are we not, on some level, living a contradiction? We make demands for tznius in every area, from our schools to our simchos, but when it comes to entertainment, there’s an unspoken exception. Why aren’t we advocating for separate seating arrangements where frum families can enjoy amusement parks with a setup that aligns with our standards?
Now, this is no simple matter. I recognize that amusement parks cater to a wide public, and it might seem a stretch to expect any changes. But change often starts with raising awareness. Let’s openly address this oversight, acknowledging that our hashkafos shouldn’t be on pause at the entrance gates of a theme park. We should either seek alternative ways for amusement within our kehillos or stop going on roller coasters.
When we accept inconsistency in our haskafos, we send a mixed message to our children and to ourselves. If we’re truly committed to tznius and the values that make our community distinct, then shouldn’t this commitment extend to every facet of our lives, roller coasters included?
A Yid
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I’m not sure how a frum male can go to an amusement park given all the pritzus….
They can’t.
Dear a Yid,
Genik shoin! Stop looking to take the fun out of life. Relax and take a chill pill. Maybe you’re holding on a madraiga of “fun” is not part of Judaism. 99.9% of us are not.
If it will help solve the dreaded age-gap shidduch crisis, I’m all for it. Perfect place to meet and greet, with a little extra action on the side. What’s not to like?
When the purpose of an event is to bring people together (“events, weddings, and gatherings”) we sit separately, when we are doing our own thing and minding our own business we don’t, just as we don’t do so in the grocery store, pizza store, or airplane. Very consistent.
He’s 100% right. A roller coaster is the foremost importance for separate seating. Imagine falling onto the lap of a woman sitting next to you during the wild ride.
Nu nu. That would be a welcome opportunity.
Why would you be going to an amusement park in the first place? There is so much pritzus there. It is like complaining about the kashrus standards of the pot you kashered to cook tarfus in.
If your biggest issue with an amusement park is the 30 seconds you’re sitting on a ride you probably shouldn’t be there in the first place.
Also why does it seem that mesorah takes a back seat whenever we object to something? Meaning, to your claim that mesorah is the reason there should be separate seating I would counter that I never heard or saw such an ideal from my Rabbeim when it comes to amusement parks.
Neither should you be there. It doesn’t take more than a second to fall on the lap of the woman sitting next to you on this wild ride.
totatlly dumb and unnecessary if it has been working till now then it will work from now on
Completely disagree .
There comes a point when we just need to be normal .
Men arent told to walk with blinders or eye covers.
Men walked like normal people in Vilna , Warsaw , Pressburg or even Munkatch , Satmar and Yerushalayim of old .
Did you see how the women back then dressed?
They wore dresses even to the beach
We maintain separate seating with mechitzos at …..when it comes to amusement parks, we seem to have forgotten these principles altogether.
Great point.
Lets take this all the way to where it should really go:
Shopping
Walking in he Streets
Driving on the roads
Shuls with Ezras Nashim are WAYYYY out of hand in this respect.
And maybe even walking in a public street with a wife or daughter.
PTA.
Excellent points!
I personally look away from Prizus while I’m driving. If I hit “it” it’s their fault.
How about Kotel busses in Yerushalayim?
As a matter of fact many people do make sure to get single seats or not have a partner of the opposite gender
Bingo.
When I was a kid, I always sat next to friends I’d gone to the amusement park with. As an adult, I sit next to my kids (when they prefer not to go themselves – I don’t particularly enjoy riding them anymore).
Occasionally on airplanes I have had no choice other than to sit next to an unrelated person of the opposite gender, but that’s never been a problem on amusement park rides.
Dear yid
I’m going to go with the fact that I think maybe you have good intentions. I’ll also remind you that something is paved with a lot of good intentions.
I would strongly suggest you just simply stay at home with your window shades drawn. It might be the safest thing for you. Commenting one way or the other what people should do where to go etc everyone needs to make that decision for themselves because they’re the ones that going to have to answer after 120 .
But obviously since it’s not for you, I strongly urge you to stay home with your window shades drawn. Maybe hide under your bed or something like that too.
AGRED 100%
What do you do when a female Amazon delivery person comes to your door. Do you cover your eyes.
I don’t agree with you at all.
You want to be a holy roller? Okay, so make a holy roller coaster. You can be the roller coaster Rebbe.
The writer should be commended for their ideals.
This post kind of misses the boat.
It’s true that one must be very careful not to come to mingling and C’V contact with the opposite gender, it doesn’t matter where you are. What the OP misses is that it behooves all of us to make sure we don’t come into those situations to begin with. If you see that the roller coaster is a problem, skip the roller coaster. If you see that the city bus is packed, skip the bus. It gets more nuanced, though. Every person must make their own Cheshban not to come to Hirhur, Histaklus, and Negiah. That means if a rabbi takes a position in a seminary he better be able to conduct himself appropriately. It’s not a job most men can do. See the end of Kiddushin (Daf 80-81) for the seriousness and difficulty of this challenge, the Halachos of Yichud.
If you would like to keep such super chumros , stay locked up in your house forever!!!
One may take a seat on the bus and subway. One may sit next to total strangers of the opposite gender. This is going too far
How do you go on an airplane?
if someone cant handle sitting next to the other gender in a roller coaster why are they at an amusement park why not just live in a box
Hahahahaha. Great entertainment. Made me laugh harder than a stand-up comic.
If you think it’s an issue and you want people to take you seriously you should ask your Rav and see what he has to say…
If for argument’s sake the Rav says it’s not ok and gives you the makor and you want to bring awareness to people, give a makor I think people would than take it more seriously
“Separate seating with Michetsos at events.”
Stop try to push your Chumros on everyone else or pretending your Chumros are basic Halacha.
I come from (what has become over the past decades) a large oot community with a world famous Charedi Yeshiva. At the main boys school (where most leave after 8th grade to attend Charedi Yeshivas) all the events have MIXED seating. Whether it’s boys starting to learn Chumash, Mishnayos, Gemarah or a Bar Mitzvah dinner the fathers & mothers sit together along with their child & other families. Doesn’t it make sense parents should shep nachas from this milestone together?
Proving you’ve gone to far some of the biggest Rabbanim in town attend (yes, for the Rabbanim there’s a separate table but no Mechitza) & speak at these events.
Keep it classy, Matzav. Is this some sort of online caffeine room?
“Separate seating with Michetsos at events.”
Stop try to push your Chumros on everyone else or pretending your Chumros are basic Halacha.
I come from (what has become over the past decades) a large oot community with a world famous Charedi Yeshiva. At the main boys school (where most leave after 8th grade to attend Charedi Yeshivas) all the events have MIXED seating. Whether it’s boys starting to learn Chumash, Mishnayos, Gemarah or a Bar Mitzvah dinner the fathers & mothers sit together along with their child & other families. Doesn’t it make sense parents should shep nachas from this milestone together?
Proving you’ve gone to far some of the biggest Rabbanim in town attend (yes, for the Rabbanim there’s a separate table but no Mechitza) & speak at these events.
The roller coaster type rides are not the ones to worry about either way as they usually have you kept very well in your seat or space as the rides go quickly and upside down and all … if you want to worry it should be the tea cups or those quick spinning rides that throw everyone from side to side!!
I never liked rollercoasters since I was a kid. It was baduk uminusa that every time I got off of one of these rides, I would throw up. I kept trying different aitzos but always had the same results. So that was it. No more fast wild rides for me. Even when I’m on a plane, if there is some heavy turbulence, it doesn’t end well.