Dear Matzav Inbox,
I write this with great trepidation, as I am not one who is capable of sizing up an entire klal, yet this tzarah has been nagging at me for a while now, and I must speak out.
We have approximately 100 of our brothers and sisters being held hostage in dire circumstances, and our response as a klal of Torah Yidden, in my opinion, has been severely lacking. I am aware that nearly every shul says one to three kapitlach of Tehillim after each tefilah, and I am sure these tefillos carry great value to Hashem. However, I believe we as a klal are failing to truly feel the pain of the hostages and their families. I am sure that many individuals have taken upon themselves an extra mitzvah or tefilah as a zechus for their safe return, but I do not see a collective response that is adequate.
I used to wonder how I and this generation would have felt and responded had we been living in America during the Holocaust. Would we really have felt the pain of the Yidden suffering in Europe? Would our lives have been any different due to their plight? I am horrified to say that it appears that after a few weeks, we would have, by and large, disconnected from their suffering and continued on with our lives as usual. How can this be? The hostages are undergoing their own Holocaust, Rachmana litzlan. Can we take two minutes to think about the conditions they are in—stuck in underground tunnels with no sunlight, little food (if any), under the control of ruthless animals, and so much worse for the women and children (may Hashem protect them all)?
We know that when tzaros happen, they are a wake-up call from Hashem to do teshuvah. We know this is the ultimate purpose of the matzav that Klal Yisroel finds itself in. However, I think we all admit that teshuvah is very difficult. Perhaps this is why Hashem brought this great tzarah to Klal Yisroel. Hashem is not asking for our immediate teshuvah. He wants us to cry out to Him in pain for our brothers’ and sisters’ matzav and beg for their yeshua! This is something that we all should be able to do, as it only requires a little bit of thought about their dire predicament. Any human being, and certainly any Yid, is capable of connecting to and feeling their pain. This tze’akah is what led to Hashem’s salvation in Mitzrayim. Ultimately, this will lead to our teshuvah as well.
I understand that seemingly all of the hostages were secular. Regrettably, this may make it more difficult to connect to their suffering. However, we must remember that each one has a Yiddishe neshama! We would be obligated to be mechalel Shabbos for them if their lives were in danger. These are Hashem’s children! (As an aside, I heard firsthand a recording of one of the freed female hostages speaking to the mother of another female hostage who is, nebach, still being held. She told her that her daughter had taken upon herself to keep Shabbos even as a hostage and that she refuses to obey the commands of her captors when they entail chillul Shabbos! Can we even fathom the level that this baalas teshuvah has reached?)
How can we as a klal bring ourselves to feel their pain? One suggestion is that the gedolim or rabbonim declare a day of fasting, dare I say, once a month. There would be an atzeres in our shuls the night before, with divrei hisorerus from a gadol or rav that each shul could connect to, followed by Tehillim (or the shul could have its own divrei hisorerus and Tehillim). The point is that the klal should be united in crying out to Hashem, begging Him for a yeshua for the hostages and for the entire klal from our enemies. I am not asking that we even cut back on our pleasures and vacations, as this is a lot to ask for many. However, how can we not feel their pain at least once a month for a few hours?
Again, I am not one to give mussar, as I fall short in many areas as well. However, I feel that Hashem may be demanding more of us and waiting to hear our cries before He brings their yeshua.
Sincerely,
Waiting for Our Collective Cry
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“I am not one to give mussar” after 6 (six) paragraphs of mussar. Perhaps you should direct your non-mussar at yourself since YOU are the only person YOU can change.
Not a sensitive, wise or even correct response. You yourself are obviously disconnected from the suffering of our brothers and sisters. The tragic victims include all stripes of Israeli society. Some of the party goers are from frum chareidi families (since that seems to be the main source of disconnect for you), who, for whatever reason, weren’t completely chareidi at that point – but some davened, had intensive chavrusos, keep different halachos. (You seem to be highly judgemental of our formerly frum young people, who you absolutely can’t understand the pain they’re in that causes them to turn away.) Countless soldiers make sure to daven with a minyon, maintain daily learning, keep kosher and Shabbos to the best of their ability. So time for a reset.
As to your making light of o.p.’s suggestions on how to get the American tzibbur, he has interesting ideas that may well work for some of those of is who have a hard time relating – but I don’t see you as one of them. May your eyes and heart open up before further tragedy strikes any other member of Klal Yisroel.
Can you read my mind to know what i’m thinking. You are as arrogant as the letter writer. My point was that people should stop preaching about what everybody else ought to be doing/feeling.
What do you want people to “collectively” do? Stand Outside with signs and protest all day? How is that productive? This Administration will not do anything and Hashem does not care about marches and signs. You just said yourself people are still saying tehillim in shul and people have taken upon themselves extra mitzvos and zechusim. How is that not collective? Not sure I agree with your letter.
I think and daven about it all the time, but I don’t cry walking on the streets. I say 16 capitlach every day, privately sometimes shed a tear, and I’m sure there are many who do much more…
It’s in the heart of every jew
Good letter.
“seemingly all of the hostages were secular. Regrettably, this may make it more difficult to connect to their suffering. However, we must remember that each one has a Yiddishe neshama! We would be obligated to be mechalel Shabbos for them if their lives were in danger. These are Hashem’s children!”
I would add that many of them, if not most, have parents, siblings and/or children who are frum (Hersh Goldberg-Polin, Hy”d, for example)as well.
Over the past many years, Klal Yisroel has experienced many episodes of truly excrutiating pain. These include the passing of tzaddikim whose guidance to the Klal was irreplacable, to the plethora and variety of tragedies. The October 7 massacre had several features that rendered this something of historical prominence, but was just another one of the chevlei Moshiach that is afflicting us. Yes, we need to respond with ways to better ourselves. I doubt there is dispute about the value of teshuvah, tefilloh, and tzedokoh. I also doubt that anyone would disagree that we need to so something.
But Klal Yisroel is not strange to tzaar. And it is a typical response to ask the question, “How should we respond to this wake-up call?” Rav Shteinman ZT”L was asked after one of the terror attacks in E”Y what kabbalah should Klal Yisroel assume in reaction. He responded, as a Gadol would, there is not a universal kabbalah to recommend. He suggested that everyone look into himself or herself, and look at what can be improved. For one it might be to improve kavonas tefiloh. For another, learn a little extra. For another, improve one’s tzedokoh and chesed. Maybe shmiras halashon, maybe shmiras einayim? And to mismatch the kabbalah to the individual accomplishes little. He refused to pronounce anything for Klal Yisroel, recognizing that we are so different that the blanket kabbalah is not the answer. There are those who would argue that improvement of anything is good. No one thinks otherwise. But that might not be the answer to the question. Instead of “How can we be better?”, we should each be asking, “How can I be better?” Nothing wrong with women bentching lecht earlier, but it takes a gadol to say whether that is the needed reaction.
I appreciate the letter writer noting that there is a perceived complacency. But is that really true? Just because we do not make asifos with drama daily? It is Elul, and each of us has the task of doing cheshbon hanefesh. This isn’t easy, because it is not about making recommendations. It is about the inventory of what we are doing right and what we are doing wrong. Sometimes the remedy for the wrongs is obvious. Sometimes we need the assistance of our Torah leaders, who can help us look inside and match a tikun for a shortfall.
I agree with the letter writer. Everyone should find something that works for them to think of the hostages at least once a week and ask Hashem to bring them home safely to their family (one can say this verbally out loud and/or say some tehiliim, give some tzedaka or learn some Torah as a zechus). I remember shortly after the war started I had gone to a chasuna in a very frum community, and took tehilim booklets with me. I asked some guests if they would like to help complete the sefer of Tehilim as a zechus for Eretz Yisrael, and some of them looked at me strangely as if to say what is the problem? i found it very disheartening.
Your message is really spot on. Shamefully we do go on with our lives as if nothing was happening and it was unrelated to us. True, we may say a kappitel or two after davening (and even that is not so commonplace).
You refer to the hostage issue. What about all the Yiden that had to flee the North or those that lived near Gaza. Where are they staying? In some one-bedroom hotel, or basement, or with a relative? No room to move. No parnossa for months. The trauma that those families are going through is unspeakable r”l.
It’s not musssar that you wrote – it’s basic Yiddishkeit – feeling someone else’s pain.
I don’t profess to know the answer, but I do know that if really hurt us, we would say Tehilim and daven with some tears. And that is not something that we see around (maybe people do cry in the privacy of their house – halevai)
May we be zoche to yeshuous for the “prat” and fro the Klal very soon.
I didn’t realize that you have the ability to read my mind and all the thoughts of Klal Yisroel.
Maybe you are projecting?
“I understand that seemingly all of the hostages were secular. Regrettably, this may make it more difficult to connect to their suffering.”
Dear Letter Writer,
I believe you sincerely mean well, but you couldn’t be more wrong with this statement. Our enemies don’t distinguish between Secular, Chareidi, Ashkenaz, Sefard, etc; they hate us because we are Jews, and we daven for the hostages’ rescue without any distinction. I have many relatives living in Israel, several of them actively in the IDF, and they feel similarly. Please don’t think we daven for all of them any less sincerely, regardless of whether or not they are frum. Please don’t think we didn’t mourn and cry for the six brutally murdered hostages, whether or not their level of religiosity was what we’d have liked. Please don’t think my cousins and nephews in the IDF will take fewer risks in their attempts to rescue those still held hostage because they were captured while attending a concert on Yom Tov.
Thank you,
A fellow Jew
Our Tzar?! What about the Rebono Shel Olam’s Tzar? Where is your screaming about the tremendous Chillul Hashem that is taking place around the world? Where is the Condemnation of the Toevah, the Avodah Zara, the abject disregard for Kedushas Bais Medrash/Knesses? Do we even need to wonder why these Tzaros are taking place? Oct. 7 was not the tragedy, it was the result of the tragedy in where, as you put it, Yiddishe Neshamos became so corrupted that they held a mass “party” of Toevah, Znus, and Avodah Zarah ON SIMCHAS TORAH! HASHEM YISHMOR!. You want us to commiserate with Reshaim? Maybe instead you should start Screaming about all the Tzar we are bringing HKB”H. In fact I’ll start:
THERE is only 1 Mitzva today that we have a Chiuv as a Tzibbur, and that is Davening. So How is it that we can walk into a shul with Kalus Rosh, with Hesech Daas, with Sheretz B’yado (cellphones). Do we not realize the Shechina comes down with a minyan? To me it’s UNFATHOMABLE how people can still talk about Shtusim in a BM, Shter others. I see people talking during all parts of Davening. This MUST STOP! It is bringing terrible Sakana to Klal Yisrael. The Teffilos of a shul that people talk during davening are NOT NISKABEL. Dont you think that has something to do with our Tzaros?!?! You’d think that when HKB”H shut down the Shuls during Covid we would have gotten the message, but sadly that’s not the case. The Chillul Hashem that is taking place today is not sustainable. I felt the same way before 10/7 and had a feeling that something terrible was going to happen. Especially when a few of our Gedolim gave dire warnings last year. Whoever reads this, Please take upon yourself a Taanis Dibbur (Bli Neder) from the START of Davening to the END (thats from the second you enter until after the last Kaddish) and that includes No Cellphones. Let’s start taking HKB”H Seriously instead of screaming about the Potch.
PLEASE DONT INCLUDE ME IN THE ‘WE’
Why didn’t you write this letter BEFORE the summer started??? Now that you and the Olam are back from all their exotic summer vacations, and everyone is showing off their beautiful tan, NOW you want to give mussar?!
@Zev Rosenblum
I sincerely hope that you are not involved in anything within 10 degrees of chinuch. The groyse people that share your warped worldview have caused untold numbers of people to leave the fold.
@anonymous
Care to explain how? If anything it’s soft heads like yours who cultivate the attitude of entitlement and the ensuing victimhood that is really causing the so called ” crises” in the community.
I completely agree with Everything that the letter writer posted but the question is if we even remember the Shocking message DIRECTLY FROM HASHEM of the October 7th war that started and is still in middle Rachmana litzlan almost a year already
Every tragedy has a wake up call message directly from Hashem that you’re not going to find in any sefer in the world or read in any newspaper from a Gadol Hador or speaker saying about the tragedy. And neither is it from me a Internet businessman writer.
THE MESSAGE
In Parshas Vayaitzai which talks about Yaakov Avinu traveling from one city to a different city was one of the weeks that was in the midst of The Israel-Gaza war against Hamas terrorists that started on the Yom tov of Shemini Atzeres which is Together with Simchas Torah when in Eretz Yisroel and happened on October 7 2023. When you put the numbers of the date it happened on together you get 107 the word Vayeitzei is Gematria 107. Do you think it’s just a coincidence? We all know the truth that “ there’s no such a thing as coincidence” so what does this have to do in relation to this tragedy happening to klal yisroel? The Hamas terrorists were supposed to on their original plans go to Shuls to shoot on C”V and Hashem did a miracle and sent them to a different city-just like Yaakov Avinu-which happened to be a non frum Simchas Torah festival in a different town. Do you think this is just coincidence or does it come directly from Hashem?, at 6:30am Israel standard time (which means it was the Hebrew date of 1/22 and in America 7 hours earlier it was still 11:30pm on the Hebrew date of 1/21) when the Hamas terrorists secretly snuck into the South border of Israel and Shot over 5000 people and also broke into hundreds of homes and took over a hundred young women and children as innocent captives into Gaza. What was the shocking message from Hashem directly to klal yisroel? Why did Hashem make this happen to klal yisroel Rachmana litzlan? And on such a happy Yom tov of Simchas Torah when klal yisroel is in the middle of the Yom tov of Zman Simchaseinu and Hashem gave an extra day of Shemini atzeres to be attached to Hashem? When this war started-as mentioned earlier it was still כא תשרי that’s makes 121 when you put them together and gives you the chapter of תהלים said in times of Tragedies and repentance begging Hashem to forgive Klal yisroel and to please accept klal yisroel’s serious Teshuva that Hashem is waiting for us to do together as one loving nation so Hashem can send Mashiach already b’karov. Do YOU think this is just a coincidence? Do you think it was just an accident that just happened to come out on this date and also on such a holy Yom Tov of Simcha? And then in a split second to be changed over to a time of instant fear, anxiety and aggravation without even knowing what the next minute will bring?
Let us hope that we finally accept Hashem’s wake up call for serious Teshuva and Achdus together as one loving nation so Hashem can send Mashiach already b’karov.
Dear_Author, we felt the pain when it October 8th and for some amount of time. Right now, it’s almost the Hebrew new year, and most hostages aren’t there now. However, I do feel for them. May Hashem save all of us both those בעזה (including the troops) and the rest of the nation of Israel!
1 Thanks to the letter writer for offering suggestions to the Gedolim on how to act where would we be without people like you ?
2 There are many people going through tremendous amounts of pain it does not make it a Holocaust even though it is terrible.
3 Why should we be doing extra things as a community when their own people could care less? Especially since many of them are oppressed to our way of life?
@anonymous
Care to explain how? If anything it’s soft heads like yours who cultivate the attitude of entitlement and the ensuing victimhood that is really causing the so called ” crises” in the community.
@Anonymous
Please, enlighten me. Which part is warped? The Gemara says that a person cannot even stub their pinky without it being Gozar Min Shamayim. Are you insinuating that there was no Hashgacha, Challilah? Or that maybe HKB”H just randomly causes these atrocities, Challilah? Any person with an ounce of a brain will realize the Middah K’neged Middah here. More than that, it’s a travesty and Kfirah to think that this was somehow unjustified. It’s ironic that you mention “untold numbers” leaving the fold, because HKB”H causes these atrocities when we DO leave the fold. We are required to be Mavdil Bain Yisrael L’Amim. No, the “untold numbers” that leave the fold is because they unfortunately get caught up by the Yetzer Haraa, forget about Hashem, and run after their Taavos.
Another point: If you only feel bad that 10/7 happened, but are so “warm” and “accepting” to those who are Lelech Achar Haraa YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. The culture of permissiveness is what brought on this Tzaara, and we are REQUIRED to call out. See Shabbos Daf 55-56. And, before you throw the “Tinnuk Shenishba” argument at me, please, almost all Israeli’s know something about Yiddishkeit. Just go and see how many of the victims and their families took on Kabalos and were Michazek themselves. Look how many soldiers started putting on Tzitzis. They know full well the Rebono Shel Olam was sending a message; they know full well that we all need to do Teshuva.
If we, the Frum, the Yirey Shamayim, would be Mechazek ourselves, our families, our Kehillos, our neighborhoods to have Ahavas and Yiras Hashem, and be Lelech b”derech Hashem, then we will have the proper influence on those that “Left the Fold”. But dont think for a SECOND that these people were innocent.