Where is the help for me?
Every year, as Yom Tov approaches, we see the incredible work of organizations like Chasdei Lev, which helps rabbeim prepare for Yom Tov with dignity and peace of mind. I have nothing against supporting rabbeim—chas v’shalom. They deserve every bit of help they get.
But what about the rest of us?
What about a regular, hard-working individual like myself who struggles to make ends meet?
Where is my Chasdei Lev?
Do people think that only rabbeim feel the financial strain of Yom Tov? As if the rest of us can magically cover the thousands of dollars in groceries, new clothing for the kids, and all the other expenses that pile up before the Yom Tov. And no, just because I earn a salary doesn’t mean I’m making it okay.
Am I expected to have a secret stash of money somewhere, untouched by the skyrocketing costs of daily life?
I work long hours, at multiple jobs, and yet, when it comes to making Yom Tov, I’m left wondering how on earth I’m going to make it through. How did we get to a point where support seems to only be for a select group? The costs of living aren’t just affecting rabbeim—they’re hitting all of us. Do my struggles not count because I’m not in chinuch?
It’s time for us to acknowledge that the financial burden of Yom Tov affects everyone. We are all struggling under the weight of these expectations, and we all deserve a helping hand.
With great frustration,
A Regular Working Stiff
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I feel for you!
Based on your comment, it sounds like you would accept the help of an organization that would offer the help…so let me let you in on a well known “secret” – There are many organizations that can help people just like YOU! There is Tomchei Shabbos in just about every community….there are many food distributions that go in in the frum communities before Rosh Hashana, Sukkos and Pesach. Umi K’amcha Yisroel!! Yidden are generous (and so are the COJO’s out there.
Can I suggest something else? I have heard from many that they would vote Democrat because they offer “all the freebies” – what a terrible mistake! They make the cost of everything skyrocket and then offer you free food or a free phone…Election day is coming….go out and vote!
Sorry to hear about your situation.
Did you try SNAP (Food Stamps)? A money Gemach? The Flatbush Community Fund (if that’s where you reside)?
Wishing you an enjoyable Yom Tov season.
LOL, we are not eligible for SNAP, but we are still struggling
Yes, everyone is struggling. But in the private sector, there is opportunity to ‘make it,’ whereas rebbeim will never have that chance. Also, they are working for the tzibbur; and unless we rally around them and give them more support, they will either go to the private sector, or we will start receiving tuition bills double what they are.
Hard to understand such posts. Yes, the burden of Yom Tov, and of life, are crushing for everyone. Its the rare few that can afford it without strain and stress. Halevay that klal yisroel could and would have a plan for each and every family. There are efforts. Tomchei Shabbos for the more needy and Moadim Lsimcha for others. But, I think that you err. First of all, Chasdei Lev is not free hand outs. They pay a third. The Yeshiva\school pays a third and the Rebbe\Teacher a third. The school part is a bonus of sorts to their rabbaim. A large portion of that is collected from the parent body. Not all. In addition, I believe that Klal Yistoel recognizes that its educators are not only underprivileged, as are you and many others like you, but also deserving of our hakaras hatov, with additional obligation to take care of. That does not detract from the needs of those such as yourself. But, as the single most important person in the perpetuation of our messorah they are in a different class.
Masbia will be happy to give you everything you need for free so stop complaining
The goyim need to make Shabbos.
They are better than you.
They are teaching torah and you’re not.
You are in coach and they are in 1st class.
It’s just a matter of הכרת הטוב. It isn’t meant to negate anyone else’s struggles.
Please don’t take it personally.
You get down in the trenches sitting with children 5 hours a day…..and live on 60k a year….
at most…
Its time the manufacturers and groceries lowered their margins
curious. i would love to know what their margins are. please present that info here with supporting documentation.
Really, I would love to know!
If all you got is your cousin yankel, or great aunt betty talking about what they “Know”, you should probably just be silent.
Are you aware that the mark-up on food is in the low single digits? Compare that to clothes (30 – 40%) and to jewelry (close to 100%).
Chasdei lev devotees their efforts to rebbeim. There are other organizations that are open to all needy families :
Mesamchei lev
Yeridusa
Masbia
Met Council
Tomchei Shabbos
Etc.
You can certainly get quite a bit if you reach out to them.
A gut yahr
You shou
The difference is, that the Rebbeim deserve our hakaras hatov for educating our children and not being compensated nearly enough for it.
There are other organizations you can turn to such as Tomche Shabbos and the like.
Hatzlocha Rabba.
You are spot on about their deserving hakaras hatov. But you aren’t correct about “not being compensated enough”.
Calculate the hours a rebbe works plus the extra perks they receive such as free tution, plus mismchai lev , plus $100 a hour to tutor at night, plus govt assistance etc. Then do the same for an accountant after he is done paying for health care costs and taxes and receives no govt assistance. I think you’d find that a rebbe earns more on a net basis.
Then also look at the hours worked. A rebbe works from 9-2. Yes he works on Sunday but half day Friday. He is off in the summer too. And yes they work hard at nights to prepare at times as well. But Compare those hours to an accountant putting in 60 hours a week before YT and tax season.
In a nut shell the per hour pay on a net basis is much higher for a rebbe. To be clear they deserve more because they are being mechanach our children. But let’s not make up math when numbers tell a different story
Interesting. I was a melamed I didn’t receive 100 an hour tutoring nor free tuition. Many schools that people teach in their kids don’t attend. As for being off etc That’s barley off if they teach to pY bills in the summer too. Most accountants get way more than Rebbes do. Additionally u fail to recognize that a rebbe is skilled labor such as as hvac construction etc so he is severely underaid. Invest on your kids chinuch like u would with a skilled builder
Here we go again…… You must be an accountant. In Brooklyn. Yes, people in all fields and walks of life struggle. I know doctors that are choking. But a shout out in defense of our rebbeim. Many of the men among my circle or family of friends and family are in chinuch. Rebbeim work long long hours. Typical high school rebbe out outside of NY, meaning Lakewood and OOT, are in yeshiva from about 7:30 to 1:30, prepare in the afternoon and go back at night. They can be busy with talmidim and parents for many hours beyond that. Often till very late. They work 6 days a week, with some having MS obligations as well. Its an all consuming job. The preparation, involvement in talmidims lives and concern for their development and well being is all encompassing. Often for 40-60k a year. Accountants are shomer shabbos too so Friday schedule is not that different. Many Rebbeim then teach in the summer to make some extra money. Oh, and tuition? The men that I know who are rebbeim are paying over 30k a year in tuition.
Point taken, Accountants in particular put in too many hours due to the nature of deadlines. however find me an established rebbe making $150,000/year. And those” free perks” are actually not free. It gets calculated with their salary. Their off months are calculated into their working months. How many strictly afternoon jobs are out there??
Even according to you, you cant pay your bills with a “per hour salary” when you don’t get the hours. A Rebbi still “works” in the afternoons and evenings, although not on stage, preparing.
If you are this accountant in your mashal , I wish you all the best. A gut Yur
Great points. Now let’s figure out how we can get the Rebbeim and their families to only need to eat two meals a day and maybe one a day in the Summer.
Not all get free tuition (Some Yeshivah Rebbeim get breaks on their son’s tuitions IF they send to the school at which they teach) as do Morohs for their daughters in the school in which they teach. These breaks last anywhere from 4 years for high-school mechanchim to 8-9 years for elementary school mechanchim.
When was the last time you saw a Rebbe playing gold after 2 in the afternoon? More often than not he is meeting with parents, marking papers, creating or preparing lessons, or holding down another job.
playing golf*
I’m sorry but what numbers are you working with??? All of your math is based on whose salary exactly? My husband is a rebbe and works 4 jobs. He doesn’t work 9-2. He works 7:45-5:10 comes home, then goes to night kollel and comes home at 10:45. He has off in the summer and uses that time to work in a summer camp like MOST mechanchim. And if someone in chinuch is on their game, they are prepping for the school year during the summer as well throughout the year grading tests, and homework.
Perhaps you were looking at one particular example but do not paint all rebbeim that way as it is a far cry from reality.
As far as Chasdei Lev goes, rebbeim go into chinuch fully aware they will likely not be living lavishly. For arguments sake, let’s say they did get the salary they deserve, chasdei lev should STILL exist because rebbes and morahs have taken the responsibility of keeping the kinder as yidden and upholding who we are in the mesorah. There is no hakaras hatov large enough for giving your child the ability to read Chumash, learn mishnayos, or grow in middos tovos….
Another person complaining about what we do to support the teachers and rabbeim who selflessly educate our children with minimal payment.
Did you know that for a school to enroll their staff for Mesamchei Lev, the school must pick up one third of the tab?
Go to your employer and demand they cover one third of your Yom Tov expenses.
Why are you making this about what they get, instead of trying to find solutions for your needs?!
Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to receive such a benefit if it were available to me, but I’m not complaining about what other people are getting.
And for the record, both I and my wife work. We don’t take any programs (even the ones we are eligible for) and pay our bills.
Were there times that were struggled? Absolutely! Can we buy a house in this economy? No!
But we soldier on, appreciate our teachers (including a monetary gift of appreciation at appropriate times of the year), and daven for better times.
And if you really aren’t making it, there are other organizations that help.
Agreed. I guess that is why Flatbush is having a 2 million dollar campaign to help individuals who can use the boost…. and Rabbi Landaus shule does it BIG TIME before Pesach……. and mnay other Rabbonim, askanim and batei Medrash.
I hope peole respond with an open hand and open heart.
I’ve been saying this for years. A few years ago a friend asked me to call chasdei lev for her. Her husband is klei kodesh but not a rebbi. He tutors and learns with retired people. They pay but only when then learn with him. They have a large family and need assistance. I was told only thru schools can it be done. I suggested that they do it thru shuls. Talk to the rov or the gabbaim they know who’s struggling or make an announcement anyone who needs shld consult the gabbai. The rov or a rabbi will have to verify the need. There is a huge need for this. This can be done and should be done. Neither myself nor my husband are askanim or we wld have done this years ago.
There are plenty of tzedoka organizations that help people for Yom tov that do not limit themselves to Rebbeim.
Chasdei Lev is an organization that should not exist at all. If the mechanchim were paid the respectable salary they deserve they would have no need for tzedakah handouts and the demeaning process of waiting in long lines to pick up the orders. They would be able to provide yom tov needs for their families with the dignity that should come along with educating our children.
I’m sure you’re happy and ready to pay 35k per child for their 10 months in school. Multiply that by 8-10 children per family. Chasdei lev is an organization that makes food available to Mechanchim at a very cheap price. We should be thankful to them, just as we are thankful to Tomchei Shabbos and so many other organizations. Chasdei lev doesn’t have a collection campaign to make the millions of dollars in food available. Even when you calculate what the mosdos put in and the mechanchim put in, it’s still extremely affordable.
But that would require raising the already high tuitions or cutting out the tuition subsidies families get.
Instead of sending 100M of our money to EY we could use it for Torah and education here.
Fyi Moadim L’simcha is more expensive than the local store sales. At least where I live.
I thought this was going to be a letter by a Rebbe who’s Mosad does not offer Chasdei Lev. I am a Rebbe in a Yeshiva for struggling Bochurim. I work VERY hard, and unfortunately, we do not get Chasdei Lev. EVERY Yom Tov, I am stuck with very high credit card bills afterwards; thousands of dollars. We do not splurge, and live quite simply – old Lakewood style. But we simply cannot afford Yom Tov. I wish there was a better system (and no, I do not get paid on time either…). But I am not bashing, kvetching or complaining. I am so thankful to Hashem for the privilege of educating our precious children. I am so grateful to Hashem for having given me the opportunity to sacrifice gashmiyus for my family’s ruchniyus. I am so grateful to Hashem for giving us what we need. תמיד לא חסר לנו ואל יחסר לנו.
I feel you. Y kids get absolutely minimal new stuff.
Definitely no ‘thousands of dollars’
As far as food, we keep it minimal.
Challah is made at home.
No fancy cuts of fish or meat.
Maybe a small brisket spread across a couple of meals.
Maybe a small price of salmon.
We can’t afford it so we don’t buy it.
Yom tov hardly costs more than a regular week.
We drink seltzer, no sodas.
No wines, only grape juice.
As I say, Yom tov is almost the same as a regular week.
Cholent hamoed, we do a bbq, no fancy expensive trips, I’m sure there are those that can afford it, I’m not jealous. We can’t do there won’t be any.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Make your Yom tov happy by inviting guests, by preparing lovely divrei Torah, learning a lot, resting alot, family time alot, and that’s it.
Keep it cheap, basic and simple.
I feel you. My kids get absolutely minimal new stuff.
Definitely no ‘thousands of dollars’
As far as food, we keep it minimal.
Challah is made at home.
No fancy cuts of fish or meat.
Maybe a small brisket spread across a couple of meals.
Maybe a small peice of salmon.
We can’t afford it so we don’t buy it.
Yom tov hardly costs more than a regular week.
We drink seltzer, no sodas.
No wines, only grape juice.
As I say, Yom tov is almost the same as a regular week.
Chol hamoed, we do a bbq, no fancy expensive trips, I’m sure there are those that can afford it, I’m not jealous. We can’t do there won’t be any.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Make your Yom tov happy by inviting guests, by preparing lovely divrei Torah, learning a lot, resting alot, family time alot, and that’s it.
Keep it cheap, basic and simple.
Firstly, it’s extremely painful what you are going thru.Zero Judgment.The way the program runs is in three parts. The school pays one part The Rebbe one part and Chasdei Lec does one part. It’s no easy task. There is a tremendous amount of fundraising that is done and negotiating with vendors. It would be a great idea to expand it to everyone. However it’s extremely difficult for it to happen without people willing to fo the three parts. Your boss needs to pay his part. Next your part and then the third part of fundraising the gap. It can be done. We need people willing to embrace the idea!!! As a side note Mesamchei Lev has before Yom tov deals in conjunction with bingo for all regardless of their status. Yes its not the same as Chasdei Lev but it still is very nice
BTW sukkos order is only cost price….no major bargains….sales in moishas are cheaper
When was your last vacation?
6 years ago, when the children were young.
ונא אל תצריכנו ה’ אלוקינו, לא לידי מתנת בשר ודם.
This is a fervent bakosho we make every time we bentsh. A person might feel challenged when YT bills mount up, but a handout from people should not be an aspiration. Rather see the bounty you do have and thank the Aibeshter, and ask for what you need directly from Him.
I feel for you but you sound so entitled. Nobody owes anyone anything and if I’m willing to help a group that is definitely needy it doesn’t mean I owe you anything. The rabbeim are also our achrayis because I need them for my kids so it’s my achrayis that they have normal living standards
Can I speak to you privately for a few minutes about a very important inyan?