Lakewood, NJ – The mesivta farher system in Lakewood, which has long been a critical part of the transition for eighth-grade boys to mesivta, has fallen apart in dramatic fashion, sending shockwaves through the local community, Matzav.com has learned. Several mesivtos reportedly broke from the established takanah by accepting boys before the agreed-upon date, which had traditionally been set for the week of Tu B’Shevat. The premature acceptance of talmidim has triggered a cascade of disarray, as other mesivtos scrambled to adjust their plans to accommodate the influx of boys ahead of schedule.
The original plan for the farher process was to have interviews and testing begin after Tu B’Shevat, allowing ample time for boys to prepare and for elementary schools to finish up their intensive chazarah programs. However, in a move that has left many parents, bochurim, and mechanchim frustrated, several mesivtos began accepting boys over the weekend, catching families off guard.
Premature Admissions Disrupting the Process
Many parents of eighth-graders were shocked when they received calls late in the week asking them to bring their sons in for interviews with the rosh yeshiva. “I got a call Thursday night, asking me to bring my son in immediately,” one parent recounted. “They asked him a few questions, and just like that, he was accepted. By Friday, I heard in shul that the class was full, and I had no idea this was happening.”
This early acceptance has created a ripple effect, with other mesivtos in panic mode, now fearing that they won’t get the bochurim they want. Instead of conducting the traditional farher process, some yeshivos have resorted to hasty “interviews.”
The Rush to Adjust
The chaos reached new heights this weekend when boys who had been preparing for their farher in the weeks leading up to Tu B’Shevat were suddenly called upon to meet with yeshiva representatives just days before the scheduled date. Traditionally, boys have used the weeks leading up to Tu B’Shevat for final chazarah, often culminating in a major bechinah in their elementary schools to prepare for their farher. However, with the sudden acceleration of the farher process, many boys were not adequately prepared.
“The boys were expecting to have three weeks to review. Instead, they got a call out of the blue to be ready for Sunday,” a frustrated father shared. “They’re not mentally ready, and this has thrown everything off.”
Even more troubling, some eighth-grade classes were away on a Shabbaton upstate this past weekend, with many of the boys missing out on the chance to prepare for the fast-approaching farhers. Sources related that the Shabbaton turned into a desperate chazarah session, as bochurim tried to fit in last-minute reviewing instead of having the restful break they had hoped for.
“The boys were supposed to have a break, a time to relax and recharge before the intense final stretch of chazarah,” one person lamented. “Instead, they were cramming for a farher they weren’t expecting.”
A Breakdown in the System
The situation has led to a complete breakdown in the process, leaving parents in disarray.
“The mesivtos that are going off-schedule are creating chaos for everyone,” said one askan. “The elementary schools are getting caught off guard, and the boys are at a major disadvantage. The only way to stop this is for the elementary schools to take a stand and say, ‘If you break the town rule, we won’t send you any more boys.’ Something has to change.”
The Future of the System
The mesivta farher process has long been seen as a crucial rite of passage for eighth-grade boys in Lakewood. This breakdown has left many families questioning the integrity of the system moving forward. Some parents and mechanchim are calling for a return to the established timeline, with an emphasis on clear communication between the elementary schools and the mesivtos, to prevent further chaos in the future.
As the situation continues to unfold, the question remains: How will Lakewood’s mesivtos move forward and restore order to this crucial process, which has now unraveled before the community’s eyes?
{CB Frommer – Matzav.com}
The roshei yeshiva should issue a cherem not to take in boys early.
For shame on the mesivta that cut the line.
And they want to make takanos like girls after sem waiting to start shidduchim?
Business is business and Moses is Moses.
Nice narrative. Clear, informative, constructive. The kind of reporting intention and effect. Even migratory fowel are wise enough to follow established pattens. Kol-hakkovod.
I almost gave back my latest meal. I am totally sickened by this post. It speaks of a system that is borderline cruel, brandished under the label that it is somehow advancing Torah, and the agony and chaos encountered when this system fails. The flaw in the is not technical. It is fundamentally corrupt. Let me explain why my reaction is so intense.
The notion of a farher should NEVER be whether to reject a talmid. It could be to identify the most appropriate placement. We need our yeshivos to be student focused, not mossad focused. Does my yeshiva have the capacity to enable this talmid to grow? If yes, accept. If not, refer elsewhere. Tragically, the calculation of the yeshiva is more about academic excellence, and this is coupled with the reputation and image of the yeshiva. It is a flaw at the core when we expect our yeshivos to produce “gedolim”.
Neither should yeshivos be competitive, nor should talmidim need to compete for a placement. None of this is Ratzon Hashem. If the values of yeshivos were in their proper place, the entire system would be structured to be a true Klal venture. What occurred here stinks of competition. This is NOT the praiseworthy notion of “kin’as sofrim”.
I pray that the system should not be restored, but should be replaced with one that is designed to provide talmidim with the best placements to match their needs and capabilities. This elitism that drives yeshivos must be abandoned.
B”H here in Brooklyn we don’t have these issues. Everyone knows which Yeshiva is best for their child. One generally continues in the Yeshiva from which he has been in for all of elementary. There is no need to show off to your neighbors as to which Yeshiva their bachur got into. This whole “mitzuyon” garbage has to end.
there is a competition problem. If one accepts a boy deemed “weak” that mesivta is doomed. I’ve seen it happen in Lakewood girl high schools. The problem is the concentration of one “Ir Hatoran” where “everyone” wants to be in and excel there.
Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin had farhers as did the whole “yeshiva system” in Europe. This is not a new system but rather a time-honored method. What we experienced last week reflects the growing pains of yeshivas in Lakewood striving to provide the best for their talmidim. Let’s remain positive and focused on the greater vision.
Yeshivas Chachmei Lublin wasn’t accepting 13-year olds!
I believe you are incorrect.
OK. Those boys went to work. I agree let’s send 5 thousand boys a year to work. Just wondering how hillel got in or Rav Miller and Gifter when they went to public school. U are confident shoita. Yiddishkiet is billed on people having mesiras nefesh not elitism.
Adults break rules, and then we expect boys to abide by rules
???
The ikar is that smartphones for Parents are assur. All else is explanations. Go and learn.
This article omitted a critical point which many are still dealing with – being the application deadline has not even arrived and the talmidim that have not finalized their choices and missed submitting applications to some yeshivos, have not made it to the list to even be called for a farher.
well who wrote this article, suggesting that mesivtas be put in cherem?? Feh what is the big deal? WHY should 13 year old boys be pressurized FOR MONTHS with the dread of being accepted or rejected to “the top” mesivta? Wrong message! Is this what klal Yisroel is nurturing bnei Torah for? The entire mentality is sick. Parents should be able to send their bochur to “the top” mesivta FOR THE BOY, period. we are not raising race-horses!
Because it’s all about being an Alef Plus Yeshiva with Alef plus learners who are not necessarily alef plus bocherim.
It’s all about the ego for these people, nothing else. It has zero whatsoever to do with proper chinuch, just about their big fat egos.
Truth be told, for at least half these boys, they would be far better off being in a Yeshiva outside of Lakewood!
I don’t understand how any of these yeshivas are in chinuch. Do they really mean the best for the parents and children? What are we teaching our children? There has to be a way to change the terrible system and to change the mentality. Will there be a time where everybody will live for themselves and not for their neighbors?
It’s a problem on the overall system and outlook in life, something that’s not easy to change. So it’s the parents, mesivtas and elementary schools which each contribute to the problem. Until people focus on changing their perspective and shitos (and stopping to be so rigid about it), nothing will change. It’s useless to point fingers. Each person has in him what it takes to fix this and if together we all do this then together things will get easier.
Whichever Mesivta started this should be shut down. Is this who you want as your son’s roll model???
I think that the article isn’t clear to those who arent familiar with the “system”
What is supposed to happen is that all the mesivtos do their farhers on Tu B’Shvat. These few weeks prior are for the parents & boys to discuss their opetions with the Rabbeim & prepare for their farhers.
However, one yeshiva decided that if they wait until the right time, they likely wont get the “top” guys, rather the more established yeshivos will get them. So they (selfishly) decided to reach out to the families now & tell them we are willing to accept you, but you must give an answer NOW. Since even a top boy isn’t assured a slot in a top yeshiva, he takes the slot in the up and coming but not top top yeshiva instead. Now all of the other Mesivtos scramble to move their farher season up so that they dont lose all the really good boys.
Its not the system to blame – its the one trying to beat the system & kill it. & in the process torture many amazing bochurim who were caught unprepared.
Just spoke to a parent who got a call at 1011 PM last night.Had to come for Farher this morning.
That being said, the school told him it was just a formality,but he was accepted.
so basically whats going on here is that alot of “accepting” is going on even before the farhers.
Go figure it out!
Glatt? Yoshor?
no one will ever know
There are plenty of empty mesivtos in lakewood. Everyone wants the great boys. It’s interesting to note that we haven’t seen major gedolim come from these mesivtos. The choshov Roshei Yeshiva are talmudim of either lakewood of the past or outside. The selective elitism does not make erluche bnei torah. It’s makes a statement that we don’t care about the struggling talmud who has Great potential and is pushed away although he is erluch. Just for the Record the gedolim including Rav Avigdor Miller, Rav Gifter z,lor yblc Rav Yisrael Newman who is a huge tzadik would never be accepted today in mesivta. Neither would Rav Shmuel Berenbaum zl who’s father was a farmer. In the Femara we value hiller despite his not bieng a star student but he killed himself. We also value Raish Lakesh and Shmaya Veavtalton. These people built yiddishkiet. Not the people who were brilliant students. Thru worked hard and came thru. If we want to copy our tzadikim do it right. It shouldn’t be based on knowledge but yidishkiet and willingness to work and toil. How many yungerliet are there today from star yeshiva who are very far from bieng a erluch yid. Look at the street and see a massive learner dressed next to a lady who is dressed very not beseder. Or a huge masmid that is a gone in buissness. There is more than one contractor that proudly learn and u can’t get a day in beis din with them. Let’s restore torah to what it was not what it became.
I’m not disagreeing with everything written here but one point. When people say “look where that gadol went and how he turned out” it is crucial to see if he himself is sending his children to schools like the one he went to or not. Where someone sends his own children means a lot more than where his parents decided to send him.
Rav Shmuel Berenbaum’s father was a wagon driver. Not a farmer.
*hillel, Rav Miller zl
Yeshiva’s used to be proud of the buchurim they produced l, today yeshiva’s are proud of the buchurim who they take in.
I, for one, do not know if any of the above was initiated by a Mesivta or a Yeshivah Ketanah (Cheder).