My Beloved is to Me

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By CJ Srullowitz
A friend of mine grew up “out-of-town” in a small Jewish community. Fortunately for him and the community, it is also home to a well-known tzaddik and talmid chacham. When I first met him, and he introduced himself and told me where he was from, I said, “Oh so you must know Rav So-and-so.”
“Yes,” he responded. “But what’s better is that he knows me.”
My new friend was proud that he knew this rav, that he davened with him, attended his shiurim, asked him shailos, walked home with him from shul. But what pleased him more was that the rav also knew him—his strengths, his challenges, his background, his family.
I think of my friend as we find ourselves in the middle of Elul. We are taught from a young age that Elul stands for “Ani ledodi vedodi li—I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me.” We know how to translate the words, but do we really know what they mean? Do we understand and appreciate the underlying sentiment?
On its surface, it sounds beautiful, a lovely notion. But it has all the passion of a Hallmark anniversary card.
What does it mean “My beloved”—i.e., God—”is to me”?
My son, a die-hard New York Yankees fan (I know, I know. Another parental failure), is friends with another teen whose father’s business brings him in contact with many high-end clients. One of those clients was none other than Mariano Rivera, the great closer for the Yankees and arguably the greatest relief pitcher in baseball history.
My son’s friend arranged for Mr. Rivera to autograph a baseball for my son. To say that my son was elated would be an understatement. Then the possibility arose that my son might actually get to meet the great pitcher. He was beside himself with nervousness and excitement. What would he say? What would he wear? Would he play it cool, try not to act too excited, or would he likely lose himself and gush all over the former Yankee?
Alas, the meeting never occurred (not yet, anyway). But it got me to thinking about my out-of-town friend.
Imagine my son, lost in a crowd of Yankees fans and in walks Mariano Rivera. People swarm around him, thrusting Sharpies along with various objects and pictures for him to sign, peppering him with silly questions about his most memorable game or what his favorite city or flavor of ice cream might be. Just then he turns and spots my son on the other side of the room. He cocks his head and gives a quick wave, then, calling him by name, heads in my son’s direction. “How are you, man? How’ve you been?”
Mariano then proceeds to pepper my son with questions—how is yeshiva going? how does he like his rebbe this year?—making it clear that Mariano knows my son well and is genuinely interested in and concerned for him. Everyone watching is astonished—and not a little envious. It’s not just that my son knows Mariano Rivera. Mariano Rivera knows my son.
How cool would that be? And how much cooler would it be if he had no idea that Mariano Rivera knew that much or cared that much about him?
This is—lehavdil—what we mean by “Ani ledodi vedodi li.”
God is not just simply aware of our existence, ready to sit in judgment of us for our deeds and misdeeds of the past year, viewing each of us as just another random Jew among the entire Jewish people to look after, another blip in the grand scheme of things.
No. That’s not how it is at all.
God is our beloved. God is our biggest fan. God is genuinely interested in and concerned for each of us, individually. He knows each of us personally—our strengths, our weaknesses, our challenges, our achievements. He is rooting for us. He wants us to succeed. 
Elul is the month designated to repair and enhance our relationship with God. “Lo bashamayim hi.” God, even in his Awesome Omniscience, is not distant. God is right here in our living rooms. He wants to be close to us. He wants a relationship with us.
Let’s take advantage of God’s wishes and ensure for ourselves a sweeter new year.


    • The article is inappropriate for this time of year

      Having said that

      Mariano deserves praise for his consisent longevity

      But in a clutch, tough situation:

      Joe Page, Hoyt Wilhelm,
      Dennis Eckersly

        • I understand your concerns, gentlemen. I, too, am not entirely comfortable with the comparison (even the word “lehavdil” seems very weak for this situation). Nonetheless, I tend to write for a very Americanized crowd and use baseball analogies frequently, which I consider to be the most pareve examples in our debased culture.

          Best wishes to all for a kesivah vechasimah tovah!

  1. excellent. I would feel the same though if I was on line waiting to see Rav Chaim and he motioned for me to come over and started asking me about my family and my Rebbi and everything else. THAT would be awesome!

  2. “I know, I know. Another parental failure” – Absolutely not!
    Did חזקיהו המלך fail with מנשה?
    Our sages tell us how much efforts חזקיהו invested in preventing the occurrence of the wickedness of מנשה. He would not marry, so that the wickedness of מנשה would not come to pass. But הקב”ה sent the נביא ישעיה who told him that if he does not marry he would die of his illness and lose his entire עןלם הבא! So what does חזקיהו do? he marries the daughter of the צדיק, the daughter of ישעיהו הנביא, maybe the merits of two great צדיקים would help prevent this horrible wickedness which is about to come.

    When חזקיהו has two boys what does he do? he takes them to Cheder every day on his own shoulders! The King of Israel carries his own sons to school on his shoulders! He was the ultimate parent! He put all his efforts and tried everything in the world to make sure that his sons will be צדיקים like him and like ישעיה הנביא and דוד המלך, but even all of that did not alter the actual outcome. מנשה unfortunately, did not choose to be a צדיק, he had other חשבונות and was caught-up with ‘other’ endeavors. As the old saying goes: you can bring the horse to the water but you can’t make him drink…

    I’m not trying to use this מדרש to excuse parents who actually neglect to invest even minimal effort in the education and upbringing of their children. But ב”ה from the little that I know, many if not most of parents put in plenty efforts (without getting into the quality of the efforts right now, although it’s very important). I think it is most important to us as parents not to fall into the יצר הרע’s trap, discouraging us from continuing to love our children and/or continuing to invest our efforts in them because it seems to us that they did not turn out the way we thought they would/should.

    So to you R’ CJ, and to all of כלל ישראל, continue your great work. From what you have written here at least, we can see that you are a parent that indeed cares about the spirituality, as well as physical well-being of your משפחה. May הקב”ה hear your and all of s’תפילות כלל ישראל. May you together with כלל ישראל merit to see great נחת from your entire משפחה. May we all merit to do the will of השם יתברך.
    בברכת כתיבה וחתימה טובה לנו וכל ישראל

    #2 BMclure – Please, do tell us how YOU understand the meaning of אני לדודי ודודי לי, we are eager to hear. Thanks.

  3. When R’ Shteinman shlit”a was here a few years back, in one of the the yeshivos he came to visit, as he was leaving and everyone was shaking his hand, I was a few feet back, and I said Shalom Aleichem, he looked at me and responded Aleichem Shalom


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