It is with great sadness that Matzav.com reports the petirah of Rabbi Nochum Stilerman z”l. He was 84 years old.
Rabbi Stilerman was not only a man of great accomplishments, but also a source of boundless joy and warmth to all who knew him. His simchas hachaim radiated in everything he did, lighting up even the most mundane moments with a smile or a kind word. He had a natural ability to connect with people, offering a friendly demeanor and a good vort that could lift spirits and inspire. His sharp wit and keen sense of humor made him a delight to be around, and his laughter was infectious, creating an atmosphere of positivity wherever he went. Whether sharing an insightful thought, a clever quip, or a heartfelt brachah, he brought joy and encouragement to everyone he encountered. His genuine care for others, combined with his unwavering optimism, left a lasting impression on all who had the privilege of being in his presence.
Rabbi Stilerman’s professional journey was one of distinction. As a management consultant and fundraiser, he reached the pinnacle of his field, becoming a sought-after expert who captivated audiences with his seminars. Overflowing crowds eagerly absorbed the wisdom he shared, much of which was encapsulated in his pioneering “SMART system.” This method emphasized discipline, routine, and spiritual resilience, offering a practical yet deeply meaningful approach to combating the yeitzer hara.
Born to Holocaust survivors, Rabbi Stilerman’s early years were shaped by his family’s perseverance. After the war, his parents spent four years in France at a semi–DP camp before arriving in the United States in 1951. Settling in Crown Heights, his father opened the neighborhood’s first shomer Shabbos grocery store, where young Nochum delivered orders. He attending Yeshivas Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin, Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, Mesivta Tiferes Yerushalayim, and Mirrer Yeshiva in Brooklyn.
Even as a teenager, his leadership qualities shone. At just 16, he became a counselor at Camp Yeshiva in Swan Lake, New York, where he worked under the guidance of the then young Rav Shimon Eider, future posek and halachic author. It was during these formative years that he began to develop the organizational skills that would later define his career.
After completing his studies and marrying Denah, née Nemeth, in 1966, Rabbi Stilerman embarked on a multifaceted career. He began as the rav of a shul in Middle Village, Queens, before joining a prestigious New York marketing firm. At a critical juncture, Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l advised him to take a position with a prominent pro-Israel organization, where he spearheaded campaigns that raised an astonishing $200 million.
Eight years later, upon consulting Rav Moshe once more, he transitioned to other roles, including work with Ohr HaTorah Institutions, the OU, and Boys Town Jerusalem. Eventually, he established his own consulting firm, serving esteemed organizations such as Sloan-Kettering Hospital, the Bronx Zoo, and the National Kidney Foundation.
In 1987, the renowned philanthropist Zev Wolfson urged Rabbi Stilerman to focus his efforts on kiruv. For the next 25 years, he dedicated himself to outreach, contributing to institutions such as Ohr Somayach Yerushalayim, Neve Yerushalayim, and Aish HaTorah. His impact was felt far and wide as he worked tirelessly to bring others closer to Torah and Yiddishkeit.
Rabbi Stilerman’s legacy includes his innovative SMART system, an acronym for specific, measurable, accountable, realistic, and tefillah. This system became the cornerstone of his seminars, helping countless individuals achieve their goals with clarity and purpose. His inaugural seminar at the New York Hilton in 1984, titled “How to Raise Big Bucks the SMART Way,” marked the beginning of an enduring influence.
Perhaps most famously, Rabbi Stilerman’s dedication to limud haTorah was immortalized in a story shared by Rav Yissocher Frand at the 12th Siyum HaShas. Rabbi Stilerman had developed a personal learning program for himself and sought Mir Yerushalayim rosh yeshiva Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel’s approval. His plan was ambitious: he aimed to complete two masechtos, Brachos and Pesachim, as well as Sefer Tehillim by his next birthday, when he would turn 71.
Rav Nosson Tzvi reviewed the plan but found it lacking. “But what about the rest of the Torah?” the Rosh Yeshivah asked. “Draw up a plan to finish kol haTorah kulah!”
Rabbi Stilerman returned home and designed a five-year plan to complete 12 masechtos—all of Seder Moed—along with all of Tanach and the Mesilas Yesharim. He brought a detailed printout of this new plan to Rav Nosson Tzvi, who reviewed it and said, “But you’re not finishing Shas!”
“Rosh Yeshivah,” Rabbi Stilerman protested, “to finish Shas according to this program I’ll need many, many years.”
“Go print out a learning program for the whole Shas,” Rav Nosson Tzvi instructed. “As well as Tanach, the Shulchan Aruch, and the machzorim of the Shalosh Regalim.”
Rav Nosson Tzvi himself intended to learn the machzorim with Rabbi Stilerman as his chavrusa.
With the assistance of his close friend, Reb Meir Hellman, Rabbi Stilerman returned home and developed a comprehensive 23½-year plan. This monumental schedule encompassed all of Shas, Tanach, Shulchan Aruch, the machzorim, and a rigorous six-time review of each sugya through the Lakewood Chazarah Program. The final plan filled over 2,500 pages across three volumes.
When Rav Nosson Tzvi saw the completed program, he exclaimed, “Now that’s a plan! That‘s a plan!”
Still, Rabbi Stilerman hesitated. “But Rosh Yeshivah,” he said, “I can’t do this! I’m already 70, and it would take me until I’m over 93 to finish—at a pace of ten hours of learning a day! I hope to live to 120, but how can I undertake a plan I can’t possibly complete?”
The Rosh Yeshivah, visibly moved, struggled to his feet. While trembling, he responded, “And do you think I can do what I’m doing? Look at me!”
Rav Nosson Tzvi reached under his tablecloth and revealed his own plans for Yeshivas Mir Yerushalayim, which included expanding the campus and accommodating even more talmidim. “Do you think I can do this?” he asked. “Of course I can’t.”
“But you and I,” the Rosh Yeshivah continued, “have a great advantage. We both realize that we can’t possibly do what we would like to do. Everyone else fools themselves into thinking that they can accomplish everything they want. You and I know that we are in the hands of the Ribono Shel Olam, and that we can do no more than commit ourselves to the task.”
Rabbi Stilerman is survived by his devoted wife, Denah, and a beautiful family of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren who carry on his legacy. His children are Mrs. Tzippy Thall, Mrs. Esti Yarmush, Rabbi Yisroel Stilerman, Mrs. Ahuva Weinberger, Rabbi Yosef Stilerman, Rabbi Avrohom Yeshaya Stilerman, and Rabbi Shlomo Stilerman. He is also survived by his sister, Mrs. Bassie Pinson. He was predeceased by his brother, Rav Pinchos Gruman zt”l of Los Angeles.
{Matzav.com}
Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Rabbi Stillerman was an absolutely amazing individual. He was the executive director of the Yeshiva Ohr Torah when I started teaching there 44 years ago. He had the unique ability to combine the talents of a consummate professional with warmth, insight, understanding, compassion, and appreciation for the individual faculty members. All of us were comfortable walking into his office to talking about any needs, projects, ideas or plans- veterans and rookies. He always defered to the head of the yeshiva but if any plan met with the approval of the head of the Yeshiva he would enthusiastically embrace the plan of the project even if it was an expensive one. He was so connected to Hashem that he felt that his whole life and his whole mission and his years in Chinuch was indeed in the role of being an emissary of Hashem to the world of education. He thought big and broad, he felt big and broad, he reached the high and far and achieved incredible levels in breadth and depth. While he was “Shtillerman”- soft spoken and communicated with a warm smile he was filled with strength and conviction and a quiet fierce determination to accomplish whatever has to be accomplished.
His personal yearning and thirst was always to learn but he subsumed those desires for the benefit of the Tzibur. This is evident as for the last number of few years he sat and learned full-time. You can only do that if you waited for that throughout the years of employment. When I spoke to him a few months ago he was more passionate about his living in Yerushalayim and his daily full schedule of learning than about building the institutions of education and helping dozens of other institutions throughout his years in Chinuch. He had a deep personal enjoyment maintaining relationships, and he always freely praised, boosted, and lauded. His erlichkeit and integrity were examples for all to follow.
It’s an absolute shock to hear that he’s no longer here.
We must be comforted by the fact that he lived a life maximizing every moment in every opportunity. Rav Yitzchok Isbee ZTL once said to me that if a person has a concrete practical plan to learn and complete a certain amount (he called it a “Shas Plan”) and he follows that plan but he’s then taken from the world prior to the completion of his calendar, before he can meet the goals that he has outlined for himself, then he in the.
A much greater world awaits him. Kol HaTorah awaits him.
May his family have tremendous nechama and may he continue to be a mailitz for all of Kallal Yisroel. Hamakom yinachaim….
With profound gratitude and sadness,
Baruch Rabinowitz
Thank you for the Hesped.