Rav Gershon Ribner, rosh kollel of Kollel Nesivos Hatorah and son-in-law of Rav Shneur Kotler, has succeeded in applying classical Talmudical analysis and methodology to understanding all areas of Yiddishkeit, bringing out its profundity and sense.
LISTEN:
I agree with much of what the Rav said in his response. Allow me to quote the well known story of the Beis Halevi who was approached by someone from his kehila before Pesach with the shailoh if he could be yotzeh the mitzvah of drinking daled kosos on milk. The Beis Halevi promptly handed him enough money to subsudize much more of the needs for Pesach than the wine. Reasoning was that if he could have milk at the seder, he obviously did not have meat, and this indicated poverty that affected his ability to propare adequately for Yomtov.
The role of the Rav should be more than finding the reasoning and sources to help this individual overcome hopelessness. We might think of this mathematically. My yetzer horah affects only me. And it might overpower my yetzer tov. But if you came to my assistance and lent me your yetzer tov, we might succeed in overcoming my yetzer horah, two against one. As his Rav, I would spare the wonderful discourse, which is erudite, brilliant, and inspiring. I would look immediately for ways to help him abstain, perhaps with my role as his gabbai, so that he can establish a piece of time where he is actually abstinent from the addictive behavior. In that state, we can begin to give him hope based on experience. This might not replace going to rehab or treatment. But it places a responsibility for action on the Rav, something to go much farther than a truly inspiring message.
Simply put, this individual’s words are about his hopelessness. His deeper message is, “Help me abstain. I can’t do it alone.”
I definitely agree with Voice of Reason that this guy was desperately looking for help. As someone that struggle with internet addiction for more than 15 years I know all too well the awful feelings of despair that come along with it. Feelings of I’m never getting out of this stuff. Feelings of there’s no one that can help me. Feelings of I’m the only one out there struggling with these things.
Good news is that I found out that I’m wrong in all of the above. It is possible to get out, and there is help out there. There is a website called guardyoureyes.com that has amazing resources and tools that can make breaking free a reality. I myself am now a year free of this struggle. There’s no reason anyone has to suffer silently for years and years.
כתיבה וחתימה טובה
@VoiceofReason It’s a real shame you don’t have your own Q&A sessions.
I am surprised that he did not quote the Gemara itself for this issue. The Gemara clearly discusses this issue of addiction to sin where the person cannot be kovesh his yetzer (aino yachol lichvosh). While he is responsible for getting into that position (as per tosaphot in Eruvin), his teshuva for that is as much as he can do at the time, and he is a righteous individual albeit with a serious problem that will need correction. This is further supported by the Gemara that says a rasha his whole life who thinks teshuva is now a tzadick gamur, albeit that he certainly will have remaining addictions. Furthermore, it is a Halacha that a person with a majority of zechuyos is considered a tzadick albeit that he will need to eventually correct all his problem either before death or afterward. It is a mistake to think that there is no teshuva after death, as the Gemara says otherwise. Even those who go to Gehinom are said to do teshuva over there. It is a pity that these Talmudic sources are not well known.
@NH Why don’t you enlighten us as to where this passage of Gemara (and Tosafos in Eruvin) is located? Your comment has no sources for some reason.
For my statement, see the first Tosafot in the fourth Perek of Eruvin (41b). He quotes a gemarah in Moed Katan 17a which has a corresponding Gemara kiddushin 40a, the latter of which explains it to be that he cannot control his yetzer (which is basically addiction). Tosaphot also uses that terminology of not having control. The Gemara about a rasha and hirhur teshuva being now a tzadick is kiddushin 49b. The Gemara M”k and kiddushin 40a are somewhat controversial in the rishonim, some of whom are concerned with what sounds like a heter. But when seen per tosaphot and kiddishin 40a in light of addiction, certainly not a heter, it very logical. In any case, a person is never required to do more than he can control. Although he is responsible per tosaphot for getting into that situation in the first place, his teshuva at that point can only be what he is able to do within his ability at that time in order to be considered a tzadick (albeit with problems to solve). This is the overall point, with solid sources from the various Talmudic passages.