Dear Matzav.com Editor,
I have been finding the Jewish holidays more painful each year. I am a female, 59-year-old, attractive single, with no children and a small non-religious family (two sisters and a mother), all of whom live out of town. Despite the many invitations I receive in my community, I don’t have a family. Work is becoming more and more stressful and, frankly, I don’t have the mental energy to do all the preparations necessary. Changing over my kitchen has become more difficult…and for what?
I just am depressed and in tears with every holiday. The organized programs offer me a chance not to be dependent on others. I haven’t booked yet, because yes they are expensive and for single people outrageously more. There are no good options for Chol Hamoed if you are alone. And the programs are also family oriented and for someone without a family it is painful.
I have been Torah observant since my late 20’s and never thought I would consider becoming non-observant, but it frequently crosses my mind.