By Rabbi Yitschak Rudomin MA
Director: Jewish Professionals Institute www.jpi.org
Email: [email protected]
Despite of everyone’s awareness of the ongoing “Shidduch [Singles] Crisis” it nevertheless does not hold our attention at center stage. There are many reasons for this. Obviously life is very busy and there are all sorts of things going on around us with all sorts of personal and community “crises” to capture our attention so that one crisis cannot always be at the center of things.
But all people want to be happy and all Frum Jewish young people when they reach “18 for Chuppa” they and their parents start to worry and work about getting the singles married. This is a major personal, family, community and Klal Yisroel objective. That everyone should find their Bashert and be Zocheh to build a Bayis Ne’eman BeYisroel (“a true [married] home among the Jewish People”).
We talk and talk about it and work hard to get the job done all the time. Then as the years go by there is a group of singles that does not get married, or gets married and then divorced, or tragically loses a spouse to death, and hence the so-called Shidduch Crisis is born and goes into full bloom.
But after all the talk, and articles, and more talk and more articles, an inertia seems to set in. Many people get tired of the topic and quite a few even lose hope, and this then becomes the de facto situation of the crisis being “buried in red tape” and “lost in committee proceedings” so that many people throw their proverbial arms up in the air and just, Lo Aleinu, get fed up and give up!
This goes on all the time unfortunately. Even when Frum newspapers carry Shidduch-advice columns and letters to the editor about the Shidduch Crisis, many people just yawn and move on to the next subject letting inertia take over. Psychological “Cobwebs” and “Red Tape” and ennui ensue.
But for the tens of thousands of parents and their children who are not finding their Bashert Shidduchim for the children after many long and tough years of trying, it is no joke. For the single Bochur or Bas Yisroel who is worrying themselves sick and crying into the night beseeching HaKadosh Boruch Hu to send them their Bashert Zivug Hagun, it is a painful, raw agonizing time.
People in this situation cannot imagine why the world “does not care” about them and why there is so much virtual “red tape” and bureaucratic layers of inertia, callousness and indifference that are standing in the way of greater care and efficiency in smoothing the path to find a suitable husband or wife for a long-time single person when there are today Boruch HaShem so many hundreds of thousands of Frum people among whom those potential life partners are to be found.
To be continued…