SHOCK: Frum Magazine to Feature Regular Guy on the Cover

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Yosef is a plumber who does not make a lot of money, does not give a lot to tzedakah, and is not involved in anything exciting like kiruv and politics. That’s why we were shocked to learn that Yosef the Plumber will be featured on the front page of a frum magazine next week, the Onion Kichel reports.

The magazine will profile this absolutely ordinary person and give their readers an insight into one of the least understood group of people in our community: regular folks. Editors of the magazine have admitted to us that they are taking a huge risk because they are not sure that there is a market to read about such boring people. They are also afraid that people might confuse it as a Purim shtick. But despite their reservations, they are moving ahead with the cover story because, in the words of the editors, “we have nothing else to write about.”

We have received an advanced copy of the profile and can report that it will contain many details from the life of Yosef and his family. There is an entire page about how Yosef could not get his daughter into an elementary school and everything he did to finally push her into a new school who were really looking for a more yeshivishe crowd but was willing to accept Yosef’s daughter if she promised to comply with the school’s rule$.

There is also the heartwarming story of the time Yosef watched a clip of a Presidents Conference weekend that was streaming from a resort in Florida. Yosef describes in great detail how good it made him feel to know that the community’s best members were in a resort working on his family’s most pressing needs.

Yosef the Plumber knows that his life is not that important and is just happy to be on the cover of a magazine, a dream he gave up since dropping out of college a few years back. He knows that he will not be asked to speak at the next Siyum Hashas and will probably never be acknowledged by anyone again. But for now he is glad to be getting some attention and will work on himself to not expect anything more in the future.

{ Newscenter}


  1. Little secret that I happen to know. Yosef the plumber was not always the nobody that he is today. In his past lives he was the famous guy, the philanthropist and before that the big Talmid Chochom. The eibishter felt that it was best for his lofty soul to come back as a “nobody” and give others the chance to be the bigshot. Now another secret I happen to know. In the future when his lofty soul moves on, the true reckoning will take place – and Yosef will be in the highest place since he did amazing as a bigshot and now he did amazing as a nobody. I have more secrets but I can’t share them here. A freiliche Purim!

  2. Shkoyach for an excellent parody like The Onion does. Really in the Purim spirit. I would like to see more such features with Purim almost upon us.

  3. Humor is great, as is the sarcasm. However, think of the wives of all the plumbers out there and how they will feel with their husband’s respectable occupation being used to portray a stereo-typical “nobody”. Not very nice or true.

  4. Report: Area successful entrepreneur makes lots of money, likes to learn once a week with a prominent Rabbi and loves Shabbos!

  5. Finally!!!! Finally the right people are looked at and given some acknowledgement!!



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