Shiva is a seven-day mourning period, observed by follows of the Jewish faith, after the burial of a first-degree relative. This includes the loss of a parent, sibling, or child. Mourning for the loss of a loved one is a hard and difficult time in anyone’s life but the Jewish faith has set rules to follow and adhere to during the mourning process.
During shiva, the mourning family is not allowed to work or leave the home unless someone’s life is in danger or they must attend another shiva. Not working includes any chores they would traditionally do around the house like cooking. The family is not allowed to prepare any meals during the morning period and they must rely on their community to provide nourishment for them.
The Tradition of Giving Food
Most Jewish traditions and holidays are celebrated and recognized with gifts of food and feast. If you had ever wondered why people normally provide meals for families that have lost loved ones this tradition can be traced back to shiva. The gift of providing someone’s need for food and nourishment is a way the community can show that they love and care for a family in their time of need.
Once the family has buried their loved one and returns home from the cemetery shiva begins. The first meal is called seudat havara’ah and is only to be attended by the immediate family. While shiva is a time for the community this is the one exception. When a Jewish family loses a loved one make sure to respect their customs and give them time to mourn in private the day of the funeral.
Seudat havara’ah, also known as the first meal, can not be prepared by the family and must be provided by their friends and family. There is no traditional menu for the actual meal however it must start with a bagel or some form of fresh bread and a boiled egg. The egg is representative of life. Each member of the family must eat the egg and bread before consuming the rest of the meal.
The next 7 days following the first meal are referred to as sitting shiva this is when the family will welcome guests into their home to share in the morning process. Remember they can still not prepare food during this time and rely on the kindness of family and community to survive. They will receive many gifts including traditional shiva baskets.
Shiva Baskets
Most people associate sending flowers when someone has lost a loved one. This is not customary in the Jewish culture. Instead, you send food to help and provide their need for nourishment while they mourn. This can be anything from having a meal catered for the family, showing up with a pan of lasagna, or sending a shiva basket. Shiva baskets are very traditional and normally contain baked goods, dried fruit, nuts, and confectionaries.
There are no set rules when it comes to preparing a shiva basket so you can get creative. Many companies even offer premade shiva baskets if you are not confident in putting one together yourself. As long as the basket is full of edible treats you are on the right track you just want to make sure the family has enough food to make it through the seven-day mourning period of shiva.
Now that you know how to build a shiva basket and understand the Jewish traditions of mourning you will be able to respect your Jewish loved ones during their time of mourning. It will mean a lot to them that you cared and respected them enough to take the time to learn and gave them an appropriate gift. This is an act of kindness they will never forget.
