I write these words with pure sincerity, but from a place of pain. I don’t mean to offend anybody, but at the same time, I am hurting so much and hope you don’t mind if I share some of what I am feeling.
I am mourning the terrible tragedy that took place last week. I am in constant mourning even though I didn’t know little Leiby or his family. But we are all Yidden; we are all part of one family. I haven’t gotten past what occurred. It is simply too gruesome and hellish.
But please, can we be allowed to mourn in peace? Can we be allowed to mourn without countless directives of how to mourn, who to mourn over, and when to mourn? Can we grieve without endless instructions and proclamations from anyone who has a platform to promote their thoughts and agendas? Do I have to be force-fed all types of messages that people have decided I should learn from the tragedy?
What happened to mourning the way one should mourn? What happened to respecting a tragedy for what it is? What happened to sitting in a corner and simply crying into a Tehillim?
I am sure that those who are pushing for increased awareness in safety, tznius, shemiras halashon, child abuse and anything else they can think of means well. I am sure that entertainers who have jumped on this opportunity to make “tributes” and videos and all kinds of things mean well. I really believe that their heart is in the right place. But this is really not the place and time. Please, please, just let us regular Yidden grieve in peace.
An acquaintance told me that he saw that a publication has put out a “call to its readers” for ideas and responses to the terrible tragedy. Why must we hear from every person what he or she thinks should be our response or interpretation of what occurred? When has that been the way we frum Yidden operate?
If you have spoken to a gadol and have a pertinent message to share, please do so. Otherwise, please withhold your observations and don’t issue public calls for every person’s take on what happened. Allow rabbonim and manhigim to be the ones to share guidance and direction. Let us be allowed to properly mourn this travesty and pay tribute to the memory of hakadosh Yehudah ben Nachman.
May we only share news of simchos and good tidings.
Praying for the geulah and an end to all tzaros,
A Yid in Mourning
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