The Matzav Shmoooze: Thanks for Ruining My Life and Costing Me Thousands

91

Dear Editor,

I am writing this to all the people who have ruined my Yom Tov – and a lot more.

My wife and our five kids were supposed to go to my parents. We’ve never made Pesach and really cannot. Then someone decided that we can’t go because of the virus. Now I have to make my own Pesach, in my dinky little apartment, with 5 kids. I did a shopping and I’m out $1,500 that I don’t have, and we still didn’t get all the things we need. I don’t have the money. And I don’t have the wherewithal to make Pesach. 

Social distancing rules would allow me to go away – legally, medically, everything – but some people are now making up rules and imposing them on everyone and they’ve ruined it for us.

Thank you very much for ruining my marriage, my home, my finances and everything else.

Sincerely,

A struggling young family

91 COMMENTS

  1. To the person writing this, you sound like you are in a lot of pain and may have extenuating circumstances. Please call your doctor and discuss the medical components and also call your halachic authority and ask a shaila, explaining all the different factors involved. You may just be an exception to the rule that applies to almost everyone else.

  2. Instead of yelling at the letter writer, everyone should realize that making Pesach costs $3,000!!!!!!!!!!!
    Whos’s helping these young couples?
    Where is all the supposed “chesed”?
    The programs that are patting themselves on the back can’t even produce enough stuff, after they told everyone not to worry and that they have them covered.

    • it really is a hard time. there really aren’t any easy answers (unfortunately not even the tax credit for some people) while the tax credit seems like a simple answer, let’s try to imagine the writer’s situation. Perhaps the writer earns $100,000 a year (making him ineligible for the tax credit) but because of reasons ( whatever they may be, medical, emotional/shalom bayis etc.) us on a budget with that money (sounds crazy, but $100,000 doesn’t go far with 5 kids if there is an issue).
      there are a lot of people that are ineligible for many reasons

  3. In her and other chassidus they gave 4000 to all young couples making pesach the first time. We have nothing like that, sad.

  4. Buddy,
    Something tells me that things were not ok in your life to begin with…
    Your life, marriage, home, and even finances don’t get ruined from making yomtov at home.
    You are not the only one making yomtov for the first time and many are finding it difficult, but that’s life.
    Sitting at home with a family of Kids with nothing to do is also no fun, but that’s life.

    I have another secret to tell you, with a positive outlook thing are much easier, that’s life.

    You also forgot that Hashem create this situation and not the people that “made up new rules”
    Cheer up and have a happy yomtov.
    Chang sameach.

  5. I agree with the letter writer!
    What a joke

    And supposedly there were “programs” to help families make Pesach the first time. Give me a break. They were all sold out and when I contacted them they told me there was nothing they could do.
    Thanks for nothing.
    There is absolutely no one one out there to help us young families that are drowinging
    All we get are more and more letters
    Not a dime
    No help
    No food
    Nothing
    Thank you to this letter writer for standing up for us young families that are collapsing

  6. So let me get this straight: Your $1,500 credit card bill, which let’s even say that you have no way to pay for it (although there are so many organizations coming forward now to assist, besides for the thousands of dollars in stimulus money that is supposed to arrive in around 2 weeks from now), and cramped quarters for Pesach is more important that your Parents life??? Hello!!! Which planet were you born on?? I am glad that I am not your parents!

    • I’m glad you’re not my son. And yes even now there are people to proud to accept or to ask and many who fall through the cracks. Many people are using savings and credit cards and in May- June this will hit them hard.

  7. Since when do we question Rabbanim & their decisions? We follow, although not always easy. There are thousands of people in the same situation as you. Accept. Horrible letter. Also, have you never learned that money spent on YT is paid back by Hashem?

  8. Just so I understand:
    Your parents are making Pesach together with each other?
    You’re making Pesach with your wife and children?
    And You hate the world????
    How about the thousands of yesomim and almonos who would give 100 times your stupid $1500 to be able to spend Pesach together… like they planned to do LESS THAN A MONTH AGO!!!!
    They are the ones who are alone, NOT YOU. Ribono Shel Olam! Count your blessings, appreciate your family. And pray to Hashem that you have a family to be with.

    • thats idiotic. so he has a hard time financially, something you seem not to be able to fathom, and he is crying out from it. I too personally disagree with his perception and thought process, but to paraphrase here “kach Onin Es Ha’amukos”? If you recall Thats what Hashem told Yaakov…
      What your saying is essentially, you lost a finger? grow up! there are people who have lost a whole arm! what utter foolishness, one persons pain is not mitigated by another having more.
      Also if you dont recall, the gemarah says “uni choshev k’meis” and “dikdukei aniyus maavirin es ha’adom midato umidas kono”…

  9. I am sorry you are having financial problems.
    I don’t know how aware you are of what is happening with this virus. I live in Boro Park and the number of ambulances running around is staggering. Every day there are more and more victims.

    You are not alone in having to make Pesach. I know a 92 year old lady who is going to be sitting at her Seder table alone for the first time in her life. I know people who are not going to their families in Israel who are very likely not going to get the price of their ticket back.

    There are people who have lost their jobs etc.

    Nevertheless we all must do everything we can to stop the infections. If this means no travel then that is what we must do. These rules contrary to your beliefs are not arbitrary.

    Our community has a problem following these rules and we are paying the price h”sh.

  10. shame on you! our chochmim and rabonim have never had to deal with the shailos they have to deal with–maybe not since the mabul? they did not make any psikei din without consulting with rabbonim and chochomim who and doctors. and you have the chutzpah–you who know nothing–to think you are smarter than they. wait until your children say that they dont have to abide by your rules because you are ruining their lives. they think it’s fun to run into the street when cars are coming. let the drivers be careful; they are ruining my fun! or maybe you dont follow daas torah because you know better.

  11. Since we’re in this together, every individual or family’s decision affects the rest. We don’t each operate in a vacuum. There’s a bigger picture. People with the most perspective have to, b’ezras HaShem, direct traffic.

  12. Oh man really?! The entire world is collapsing, thousands of people are dying including many prominent Rabbonim and real tzaddikim but some people ready to infect your parents to save a couple of hundreds? If you have a problem with rules so yiddishkeit is probably not for you. We’re all depressed and anxious but the most important now is to find a good side of every situation. Find just a small corner in your heart for Hashem

  13. I admittedly know nothing about the person who wrote this letter, so I don’t really have any legitimate reason to disagree with his *attitude* regarding his “wherewithal to make Pesach” (although I do nonetheless disagree), HOWEVER I do agree completely with him that the general reaction and over-precaution that the populace is espousing is ridiculous and damaging.
    My only defence of the general craziness going on, is that the authorities have to cater to the lowest common denominator, and so unfortunately they have to issue blanket restrictions that unfairly sweep people like this letter’s author along too, despite his ability to accurately determine his ability to spend the Yom Tov with his parents.

    https://www.rabbiorlofsky.com/podcast/84 somewhat agrees, at least in question, with his sentiments. Rightly so!

    • well maybe keep track of the number of deaths, and you will figure it out. how about say one kapital tehillim for everyone who is sick.
      if you dont leave the house till your done you might be finished a self quarentine by then

  14. Somehow, this generation was living in La La Land for too long. Moving into parents like they are your free Homawack. I remember my first Pesach and it wasn’t easy and there wasn’t anything wrong with the world but all the same. He should have read the writings on the wall that life was going to change for the worst. At least he and his family are healthy. Some of us have to deal with family being really sick which is far worst than him. People got to grow up. It is like a war zone of radioactive isotopes. Stop moping and start cleaning!

    • Yankel, you’re a senseless idiot, maybe its the wife here whose already hitting the ceiling tying to manage being stuck at home with their 5 kids and she simply can’t cope with unexpectedly making Pesach?

  15. I don’t get this – if you are short of money and that’s the reason you were planning on going to your parents then why don’t you ask your parents to help you with the extra 1,500$ or whatever it is, in a perfect world when you would go to them they would buy everything for you anyways, correct? So the same way they are generous in having you they can just send you a check instead, no? this sounds simple to me

    Parents that have kids who you would host for Pessach and know they are in difficult financial situation please help them!!! You would anyways pay for all if they were coming to you, please help them not having a stressful yom tov and not ruin their personal lives

    Seems simple to me

    • If you read thru the lines, while the letter writer is struggling with the expense, the pressure of making Pesach “in their dinky apartment with 5 kids” is even harder

  16. As a healthcare provider, please read and keep an open mind:

    The reason why ‘some people’ are ‘making up their own rules’ is to protect people who are either immature or irresponsible; who can’t feel for the true victims who are fighting for their lives or those who have lost that fight; who have no concept of the battle that healthcare workers are going through to save lives.

    The reason why ‘some people’ are ‘making up their own rules’ is to protect the lives of the parents of the people discussed above. For example, unless their dining room is massive, how are you planning on legally and medically socially distancing while at your parents Seder table?

    Put aside the bitterness and enjoy the good things that Hashem has given you. That is what your marriage, children, and parents all need from you right now.

  17. If you dont have symptoms doesnt mean that you are not a carrier of covid-19. So id rather be desolated than have on my conscious that i may have infected someone. There is already enough scary stories going around, young/healthy people who have simple symptoms 1 day and are gone the next. If we can prevent even 1 person from passing why wouldnt we try?

    • To I think

      Using that logic, you shouldn’t never drive a car anymore. 1.3 million people get killed every year from auto accidents

      • you are wrong. due to the fact that when your driving you are generally not causing harm to others, whereas with COVID-19 you are

  18. It is my suggestion to block comments in order to not allow loshan horah, motzei shem ra or a kitrig for all articles in general

  19. Who is the someone who decided you should not go?
    If it is your Rabbi, explain him what you have written on the internet.
    Else, why should other people’s statements affect you?
    Those who add….. etc etc.
    I know, it’s very hard to swim against the current.

  20. Don’t judge a person or family that’s in pain.
    We can lend a listening ear, and perhaps suggest options.
    We are all in this together.

  21. i am truly sorry for you. please understand EVERYONE is going through the same thing or worse.
    I am 37 weeks pregnant, have 3 kids of which 2 are special needs and in special ed schools and online school is a disaster for them. we all came down with covid and have not been able to do much pesach cleaning. we hardly left the house since right after purim because we were already taking the necessary precautions out of fear of getting it or giving it, but apparently wasnt enough and still got sick from someone/somewhere. because my positive results only came back today they are making us isolate /quarantine for ANOTHER 2 weeks. so basically a month of no shopping no socializing. etc. nothing is cleaned here. we are in a tiny messier then normal apartment as well. little food in the house, and nothing done for pesach. i dont either have utensils or anything to make a seder.
    and it so nice your parents were willing to still have you. both my parents and in laws are in their upper 60s and refused to take any of us even before we got sick because they need to worry about their own health and well being. both me and my husband lost our jobs a few weeks ago because our places closed down and we are hourly workers. i applied both of us for unemployment which is helpful. we did our taxes and expecting our tax return soon which is helpful and the govt is giving all families a check. so again i am sorry you feel stuck and broke but SO IS EVERYONE but gam zeh yaavor you will be able to pay for it! and there are def ppl/organaztions helping financially. please dont give up hope and please understand ppl are in worse positions then you. trying to deal with pesach and funerals or family members in hospitals on ventilators! be thankful you and your family is healthy. Im telling you even though im sick and so is my kids/husband AND about to have a baby and my kids are bonkers and the screaming and yelling is non stop here bla bla i am not focusing on that. Im actually feeling so greatful that its not worse and were more or less ok and that my parents are ok BH! if you focus on that it really puts a different perspective about things and you realize NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

    wishing you much hatzlacha

  22. MD Swheks, that Pesach box thing is not nogeia
    they said they can’t sell people stuff anymore. they’re done. waste of time.

  23. I feel Ya.
    Hopefully Trumps Check for $5400 (couple plus 5 kids) will be deposited in your account within the next two weeks.
    Cheer up!

  24. Your parents’ funerals will cost a whole lot more than $1,500.
    The plague that has hit us is a result of Purim when older people and their children had the Purim seuda together.Your parents were spared the first time. Will they be lucky the second time?

  25. Hey! instead of bashing. Lets all pledge! I dont know how to do this, but is there someone who can find out who this is through the website and set up a chessed fund page or something? If that can happen i will bli neder donate $18, thats a start, if everyone here gives 10 dollars, thats 280, and we can get the ball rolling!!!
    P.s. @matzav moderator, you can share my email with the letter writer so that he can contact me and BE”H we can get such a thing rolling!!

  26. @moderater
    tell him not to be embarrassed about reaching out, i myself have had two different places who i received assistance from, as i am making for the first time and was not supposed to make myself

  27. i give all of you people a big brocha,
    the worst that should ever happen to you is that you stay home with your family for Yom Tov. Amen.

  28. My in laws were going to go to Israel to spend peasch in a hotel with her mother [a Auschwitz survivor]after the 14 day quarantine they canceled, now my grandmother in alone in Israel, My father in law came down with Covid 19 and my mother in law too, both are about 70 YO and not in the best of health. I bought them peaschbox.com for $350, my BIL got them motzah and fruits and vegs total bill was less the $500 for all. I love my grandkids but they are not coming to me and im in my 50s, life stinks, but when i see my nighbors little kids saying kaddish, my cousins little kids saying kaddish, my 20something yo niece brothers saying kaddish it puts things into prospective, I dont know where you live but I live in monsey and i got 3 robo call from organazations offering to help

  29. People sometimes think they have to make it more elaborate and complicated than they need to. Some chicken, Some potatoes .
    Relax and try to enjoy a cheerful Yom Tov within your means, however simple. You can do that.

    • Okay Mr letter Writer Guy,
      I’m weighing in. (thank you thank you).

      I’m in my 40’s. I’ve been making pesach since the first year I was married. It’s not easy to get he house cleaned up – for anyone. But we do it. For you, don’t do it – only get the chometz out. There’s no reason to do more. Sell your chometz and turn over the kitchen.

      As for expenses; chill out. Don’t buy like crazy. I went to bingo and bought a lot of chicken, onions, and potatoes. I bought some nosh and even bought a few bingo-brand cakes. I spent a few hundred dollars. I bought one small package of meat to make a “chulent” (meat and potatoes with onions) for shabbos.

      Plastic plates, plastic forks and knives…
      Keep it simple. A crock pot from bingo or amazing savings and whatever is cheap or disposable. Cover the counters with heavy duty foil – AND keep it simple.

      Now, the rest; this mageifah is not from people. It’s from the boirei oilam. The gemara teaches us “kol man d’ovid Rachamana, l’tav ovid”. That’s it. That’s it. We don’t feel like it’s good. We don’t understand how is good. It hurts, we cry, but it’s good. Emunah and bitachon will bring you to simcha. Negative thoughts are the yetzer harah trying to ruin your shalom Bayis and Yom tov.

      Now pull yourself together. Get out and get your wife flowers (simple ones) for shabbos. And then again for Yom tov. Tell your wife how much you appreciate her and how you’re actually looking forward to the experience of pulling together a Yom tov with her. Prepare for a seder by getting Kashrus Magazine (or look online or call them…) and following their seder prep instructions. Go to amazing savings or somewhere and get something simple for your kids to enjoy.

      Dude, you’re a leader of a family – the head of a household. Pull it together, plaster a smile on your face and show your kids that you have it under control.

  30. Today my 8 year old son said, “I love being home with our family”, one of the nicest thing I ever heard as a parent. I give you a Brocha that your kids should say the same things to you over Pesach. Play with them, learn with them, relax with them, use this time to build your home, have a חג כשר ושמח.

  31. -People are having to deal with rambunctious, bored and frustrated children who are stuck at home for weeks on end.
    -People are having to make their own Pesach unexpectedly, some for the first time ever, and some are panicking because they have to do everything from scratch (new keilim, kashering oven, kashering kitchen, etc.)
    -People have lost their jobs and are going into debt without knowing how and when they will be able to repay.

    It is a VERY big deal and nobody is pooh-poohing the aggravation, work, worry and agmus nefesh this causes. HOWEVER, all of these situations can and iy”H will improve. The quarantine will lift, Pesach will be successfully made, employment will pick up and the unemployed will be rehired. The only thing that tragically won’t happen is the return of those who we R”L lost in this mageifa. That is the ONLY thing that really counts at this time.

    FWIW, my family and I have experienced more than one of the things described above. This opinion is coming from one who has been affected, who has family members who are sick, and who knew people who we lost. We must daven. We must follow the advice of our doctors and rabonim. And, sympathetic/empathetic as we may be to those like this letter writer (and others commenting on this thread, and even ourselves), we must not risk our own health or the health of others by evading the current social distancing rules.

  32. There is an underlying issue here that most are not commenting on. The writer wrote his life is ruined. His entire life is ruined because he has been inconvenienced? Even were the damages unjustified it is incomprehensible to think that one’s entire life is ruined over something like this. The writer likely has psychological or psychiatric issues and should consult a professional. Hashem Yerachem.

  33. This ungrateful so and so should speak to a Holocaust survivor and ask how they spent pesach in the camps. Then maybe he would not have written this letter and thanked Hashem that at least he is able to make pesach one way or another.

    • Yes go down that road, My wife’s Grandmother told me about the peasch in Aushwitz, and Peasch 1946 was no picnic either, In fact Nachman Seltzer wrote her story in titled the Girl who would not say no

  34. To “Another anonymous” that is 37 week pregnant. Your fortitude is amazing. If you live in Brooklyn I would love to help you by providing “the Kearah” for your family. You have Covid so you are not risking anything by accepting food from us and that would save you a lot of work. But alas, I don’t know who you are or how to find you. Perhps there is some way we could be meshadech experienced pesach makers with newbies who have already had the virus and can accept food from others to make life easier for them? Any ideas people?

  35. Wow, so Matzav.com is censoring comments they’re to immature to understand. Real professionalism. Wow.

  36. My guess is that you’re just venting – letting off some steam by expressing your stress and frustration. Making Pesach for the first time, without all of the kitchenware that you need, is tough. But think how blessed you, and most of us, are to have a Yom Tov in a new and unfamiliar setting because other people are getting sick, and not because you yourself are ill. Take a quiet moment to think about how you will be spending Pesach next year, and appreciate all of the good things that we are all looking forward to.

  37. People please dont judge.
    You really never know the complete picture until your in the guy’s shoes.
    Let’s try to stop bashing each other and come together in unity to bring Mashiach closer.

    • How’s that out-house of yours? Did you remember to milk the cows? Make sure you finish the iron’s for the horses feet. Don’t forget to bring the poretz’s wife some fresh soup. Ah, the good old days in the heim.
      What? Wake up.

      • Things were better and simpler before gashmius took over. Who heard of pesach hotels, people in the shetel had emuna pshuta. All this money on luxury, cars. Clothes, restaurants is the way of chukas hagoyim, we must look to the ways of our zaydas and bobbies and alter zaydas and bobbies to learn proper values and try to re relate europe as much as possible and the shtetel

  38. And to you sir I say:
    You are very welcome.
    Life ruined=mission accomplished. That was the whole objective and now life can go back to normal. Thanks for the update, after this is all about you. Some people die, some lose an arm, some chip a toenail and it’s all the same. It always has been and always will be about ruining lives.
    I also say to you:
    For the rest of your ruined life try to grow up. Try to not be a completely self involved, narcissistic, self obsessed, ego centric, selfish organism.

  39. Ok, matzav should have this person’s contact info. What about making a little “click here to donate” button. I’ll be happy to donate even I see that button.

  40. I am touched by those readers who responded with empathy and identified possibility of existing stressful conditions. Thanks for not pouncing on him. It’s not about whether or not his take on the situation is accurate nor is it about a raw nerve of our own that was touched. It’s about Jew supporting Jew with love.
    Mah Hu Rachum, af atah Rachum

  41. Wow. Enough has been said. All I can say is as someone who’s mother in law (who is 52 and was very active and) is now on life support your a pretty selfish person. Suck it up and maybe grow up. Who’s “making stuff up”. Maybe you don’t know but there is a stay at home order. It’s people like you who are uneducated and think this is all one big joke. I’m getting upset just writing this so I’ll stop. I have alot more to say but a heilige publication wouldn’t allow my honest thoughts of you to be published.

  42. And for those bashing on the organizations, SHAME on you! You have the chutzpah to bash on moisdois that are out begging for money for people they don’t know. They want to help everyone. They can’t. They can only give away the money that’s in their pockets. And guess what; it’s not their job to support your. It’s your job. They’re going above and beyond. Keep pesach simple.

    It’s your first time??? So grow up! You were big enough to get married and make babies. Now be big enough to make a seder for those babies. Wow, the whining. Bunch of butterflies! People are dying! Pull it together – you’re adults for cryin’ out loud!!!

  43. Do you have a dark past? Remember it. The worst is your consequence.

    Hashem delves into your tiny little practical dilemma of course. Are you really that poor that your malevolence wants to come out right now? I am so sick that I can see every day I rip a new shirt. I am going broke in mourning from my losses.

    Hashem is with Israel. This virus is worst. I guess if you can not delve into a madness or worse, you are just lucky if you sleep. No one knows but we have to have some hope and quarantine.

    Enjoy the $1500 of food. We were to risk our lives for $200 of it for 3 people today. Good produce. If you are eating wrong stop. Nothing processed, nothing artificial. You might improve your health and the mood is crucial a humane life.

    Really, I am happy to report I eat a real potato and it is good. Never again the fat consumption of potato chips. It is the best I can do and eases my strength better

  44. Hi,
    I just read a letter from an Israeli woman telling her parents- would you rather me spend this Yom Tov with you- but that will be the last time?
    or would you rather me NOT spend this Yom Tov with you- but then be able to continue coming to you for many years?

    Please use this opportunity to ENJOY your nuclear family- try to make do with simpler foods- your wife and children are the most important people in your life.

  45. Thanks to whoever responded to my post for all your concern. Really Not trying to make this post about me. We do not live in brooklyn but have very caring ppl in our community trying to help. I just hope the writer understands hes far from alone and all these inconveniences are being done as a necessity to help save lives and not done specifically to ruin his. I’m also somewhat thinking he wrote his letter in jest and even tho is upset and frustrated he really does understand the severity of the matter and wanted to see peoples reaction to his post. Either way were all suffering from some sort of collateral damage but worse off the people who are losing loved ones or can’t visit their loved ones in the hospital and don’t know if they will ever see or speak to them again. And many of these ppl are great rabonim or Chessed organizers who are truly irrreplacable to many not just immediate family. we need to pray for each other including people’s sanity because everyone everywhere is suffering from this one way or another.

  46. While I do feel your pain and understand how you and your family were thrown into making Pesach for the first time without being properly prepared both financially and time-wise I still don’t fully agree with the way you wrote your letter. Try to take a moment and realize that almost every person in this world has been affected by this virus in one way or another and every detail and “misfortune” is orchestrated solely by the One above. If you can truly believe and take with love this nisayon then your letter would probably be written in a whole different manner and you wouldn’t blame humans for your misfortune. You can certainly vent, that’s ok, people need a listening ear, but remember that Hashem’s the One who’s giving you this nisayon and Hashem’s also the One who’s got your back.

    Not to give too many personal details but we were affected financially. Do we feel the pressure, absolutely. But we worked on ourselves to trust in Hashem that everything He does is for a reason. You lead a much happier stress-free life by doing so. But it comes with work, it’s not something you pick up overnight. There are tons of sefarim out there that can help you.

    Hatzlacha raba.

  47. It looks like the writer of the letter, whether it is real or not is pointing out a real flaw in this generation. It sounds like he has zero appreciation to his parents/in laws for hosting him and his sizable family all these years. Why is the “normal” thing for families to continue living off the older generation for yom tov and when that he is taken away he shakes his fist at G-d as if He never gave him anything. Of course it is a beautiful thing for families to be together but realize how gracious your parents were all these years. Did you you ever say “Hey mom and dad I know that you raised me and paid for my tuition, camp, food etc for the first part of my life and have been so generous to host us for yom tov all these years. Now I would like to return the favor and have you over our place for yom tov.”
    t is true we do not know the matzav of the writer and it could be his financial situation is no fault of his own (he took the necessary steps to prepare to earn a living and works hard). But wake up and realize the obvious-the magefa is from Hashem, not doctors or politicians telling you to stay home.

  48. Pesach is 8 days long (for those who are too enamored of חו’’ל to live where השם wants them to). One week’s worth of groceries doesn’t cost $1500, even for a family of 7. I suspect your Hashkafa has more to do with the costs than your actual religion. You choose, you lose.

    • You do not buy gifts for the children and wife? You do not buy their favorite foods, that certainly the grandparents every year made sure to arrange? You do not buy something extra this year, that even though everything is in a turmoil, the children will enjoy as much as possible? Then they need some pots and pans since they never made Pesach and they can not realistically kosher anything. They need disposable supplies, how else can they even eat on the table without covering it etc?
      Then, the last sentence of yours speaks for itself.

  49. The people that have ruined your Pesach are the ones that did not follow the government suggestions and stay home. They are the ones who continue to sneak out to congregate in large groups to observe d’rabbanan mitzvot, chumrot and minhagim that should be laid aside in honor of not endangering the lives of others.
    Thank your fellow community members.
    I am sorry you won’t be with your parents for chag. It is just as hard on the parents, grandparents and singles. If you are struggling in terms of how many kids you have in the “dinky small” apartment that you have, maybe this is a great time to reassess priorities in terms of making parnassah, increasing your marketable skills and budgeting. Ask your Rav what the absolute necessity is for Pesach, there are many things that we do and buy that are not necessary and have been added on over time.
    Yes, it’s hard. But blaming “the other” for your problems is not constructive.
    Chag kasher v’sameach.

  50. I’m just crying, I don’t care if this person is right or wrong, he is in so much pain!! I can’t take listening to this pain anymore! Hashem!!

  51. Just look at the links below your very letter article:
    “….passed away from Corona.”
    “5 children left without a father from Corona.”
    Etc.
    Etc.

    Also, with Passover just your immediate/nuclear family it should not cost $3,000.

    But even if it is….is $3,000 not a price to pay for your safety and your families safety??

    We’re all suffering being alone for Yom Tov but this is what is demanded of us during these hard times.

  52. I cant begin to believe how someone can be complaining in a public forum like that!!!!! Do you understand how many people are sick, and are really making yt themselves without a spouse. Do you think they are worried about 1500$. R’l how many people passed away they would go into millions of dollars of debt to be in your situation . I understand its not easy for you but you should thank Hashem every minute that this what you suffered. Complaining in your own house is one thing but publicly saying that is really immature and you should start thinking how lucky you are

  53. With All Due Respect, to make matters short, I suggest you learn Shaar HaBitachon of the Chovas Halivovos. And try to look at the positive side. B”H you, your family and your parents are healthy. If not for the restrictions the whole situation would be so much worse. We all need to work on the Midsh of Simcha, to accept whatever life brings B’Ahava. And a man is obligated to be and make sure his entire household is B’Simcha on Yom Tov . Look up the Rambam in Hilchos Yom Tov Perek 6.
    Wishing you all the best,
    A Poshiter Yid Mit a Bisel Sechel

  54. While the writer’s situation is certainly difficult, Pesach does NOT need to cost $1500. You don’t need to buy fancy meats (it’s just you and your wife who really care), you can get away with limited supplies (ketchup, marinara sauce) plus the basics, and get disposable aluminum pans to cook on and disposable plates. True, matzo is expensive but the little children do not need extra shmura and do not need to eat so much at the sedarim. This is not the year to hold by chumros! All the rabbonim are issuing psakim for this year only that are different than what we are used to. I think the hardest part is being in a small apt, but that would be the case even if it weren’t Pesach, so really Pesach changes nothing of that circumstance.

  55. Who are you blaming? Your neighbor? All the people in your neighborhood? The government who is trying to get rid of this crisis? The Chinese government who lied about/covered up the virus? The Chinese lab/bat eater who started this whole thing? I’m sorry you are in pain but many other people are as well, and printing this letter was a really weird decision by Matzav.

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