The Matzav Shmooze: Am I a Neb?

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chanukah-menorahDear Editor,

In which situation is one a greater loser? If he stays home for Shabbos Chanukah or Shabbos Nachamu? What?! You’re not going to your parents? You’re not going to your in-laws? You’re staying home with your kids? Nebach!

Well, guess what? We stayed home for both! Just don’t tell the shadchanim, please.

Name Withheld

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  1. Tell the Shadchanim!!! I stay home for both of the Shabossos you mention and I stay home for all of the Yomim Tovim!! There is no place like home and no way to bring the excitement of a Yom Tov into your home if you do not stay home.

    And you get to sleep in your own bed!

  2. I guess we are both the same, we don’t follow the flow. Perhaps that’s why they call us “ivri”.
    I would prefer not running into shailos where to light on Motzei Shabbos if you plan on leaving that evening. If you are machriya to light at home, aren’t you adjourning lighting until you pack up and get home. I would prefer to light timely.
    I don’t believe the shadchanim would be critical as long as there are possess other redeeming features$.

  3. we are B”H staying home this year, like every year. We are also not going to “party’s” EVERY night. Only a fool would sit in traffic on the shortest Friday of the year.

  4. What do I do – stay home for Shabbos Nachamu or Shabbos Chanukah?

    Or Sukkos or every Shabbos?

    I stay home for all- alone
    Without spouse or kids.

    To be sure, I have loads of invitations from wonderful friends.

    Single, older ….. am I a neb?

  5. You are not a “neb” for being in that situation. But you are a neb for making it a topic I have to read about on Matzav. Good luck.

  6. You shouldn’t feel ashamed because people have turned one of the most important Shabbosim into a Family gathering. The Vilna Gaon says Shabbos Chanuka is similar to Yom Kipur, so if you spent it learning and doing Avodas Hashem then be happy

  7. Dear Mr (or Mrs) Name Withheld,
    You have parents?
    You have in-laws?
    If you have in-laws that means you have a spouse?
    You have kids?
    You have a home?
    You are a Yid and you have the blessing of keeping Shabbos?
    And you’re asking here on Matzav if you’re a loser, a neb, or a nebach?
    I say, Nebach.

  8. i live in the country all year, so i never have to go away for shabbos (or spend ridiculous amounts of money for rent) yet all of my wife’s friends think we are crazy because we don’t live in Brooklyn

  9. If it’s the end of Khasuna-Gdolah, acknowledge your m’qayyim-mitzvos publicly. If you weren’t mqayyim, you shouldn’t flaunt your get.


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