Rav Gershon Ribner, rosh kollel of Kollel Nesivos Hatorah and son-in-law of Rav Shneur Kotler, has succeeded in applying classical Talmudical analysis and methodology to understanding all areas of Yiddishkeit, bringing out its profundity and sense.
WATCH:
Brisk should not take a bocher older than 18 and a half.
I am once again impressed with the assumption that there is a shidduch crisis. Of course there are singles and many more than there should be. But there is a crisis of yesomim, there is a crisis of divorces, and there is a crisis of poverty. Crises exist as per the one speaking about them. The trouble is that there is scant scientific data to support the premise. All the numbers that have been presented thus far fail to indicate a trend. All we know is that there is one single, and another, and another… and until anyone can connect these instances, of which there are many, we fail to identify a “crisis” for which there can be a “solution”. It bothers me that we have corralled our Gedolim, some of the greatest minds of our generation, and presented them with a crisis that may not exist.
We have watched many such crises in the past decades, and we have had similar outcomes from what we have with this one. There have been many statements made about child abuse, kids off the derech, drug addiction, compulsive gambling, unfiltered internet with its sequelae, etc. These are not public problems. These are large numbers of individual problems. All the takanos have not succeeded in reducing the incidence of any of these problems. There are still minyanim in all the casinos. There are still plenty of shmiras einayim problems, divorces are still increasing in numbers and the bitter battles that keep therapists, lawyers, batei din, etc., busy. We still need street signs, now in Yiddish, in our frum neighborhoods to warn people away fron using drugs on Purim. The tzaddikim that work tirelessly in yeshiva placements for struggling kids are still occupied without letup. Shabbatons like Keiravtuni, Kesher Nafshi, and the like are still at full capacity registrations. Support groups like MASK, Kesher Nafshi, and similar groups are busy and busting. The community addressed these “crises” years ago.
Don’t get me wrong. Shabbatons, support groups, etc., play a crucial role. There are many, many individuals who find their solace, their yeshuos, and their sanity in these support systems. Many get vital education, chizuk, and personal guidance that changes their lives for the better. But “crisis” needs to be a term reserved for a problem that is identified that affects many. The fact that many share a particular dilemma might not be a crisis, and a global solution would be only a fantasy. No one found the antidote for poverty. And I am skeptical whether there is a solution here.
Some of the ideas floated in our media in the names of various Gedolim might sound rational. I do not quibble with the saichel behind them. But I don’t believe the Klal will follow. Everyone will have their reasons. And at the end of the year, we will not show improving receipts for the “singles crisis”. I may sound pessimistic. That’s not the real me. I’m just a realist.
every pessimist says that he is a realist
Every realist is denigrated as a pessimist
My father learned in Brisk, in the times of Rav Berel ztl, as a married man with children for 2 yrs. Afterwhich he came back to America and became a Rebbe. He was very close to R Berel ztl to the point that R Elya Svei called him to tell him of his petira so he shouldnt hear it on the street
The solution to the shidduch crisis is to have boys get married younger. The way to influence that is by dangling girls in front of them.
If the average bochur would observe young women, the way they behave, the way they interact with their peers and how they make others feel good through their natural validation skills, most boys would want to marry them!
But because they don’t have the privilege to observe this and instead remain isolated with their male friends, they do not cultivate enough interest.
We need to somehow go back to the Chaza”l style of tu b’av and have boys be a bit more exposed to girls, albeit in a tznius way.
The heart will solve this crisis more than the rebbe will.
Great. So the aitza given here, is to threaten and shake down the Brisker Rosh Yeshiva. Threaten him that they’ll take away their financial support. I mean seriously???? This age-gap hoax, promulgated by those who don’t believe in hashgacha pratis, is getting out of hand. You are going to outfox the Aibishter? Really?!