Imagine if I agreed to be honored annually at my children’s school dinner. Would I have the audacity to send out a request every single year, asking my friends and family to place an ad for me?
The obvious answer is: absolutely not!
No one would have the nerve to do that; they would feel utterly ridiculous. It’s just inappropriate and socially awkward. So, can someone please explain why it’s acceptable to send out multiple solicitations via text, email, or WhatsApp every year for your children’s yeshiva, your shul, your kollel, and any other cause you deem important?
It’s equally as inappropriate and socially awkward as being honored multiple times a year and asking the same people for ads.
Just because it’s easier to click a link and donate with a credit card doesn’t make it right.
Especially if it’s for your daughter’s school or high school—why should I feel obligated to contribute to that? This behavior is out of control and needs to stop!
Frustrated
I totally disagree if Hashem gives people extra money so he can give charity
Don’t give. Why are you so upset?!
If this is bothering you so much, you must either not have a care in the world and you are looking for something to make an issue about, or on the contrary you have so much inner rage and this is how it comes out. May Hashem have rachmanus on you.
There are so many real problems that the yachid and the Klal face. May Hashem help us!
Dear Frustrated,
Just ignore it. I don’t know why you feel social pressure on something so stupid like this.
You don’t have to respond or give but who cares.
As if everything (anything?) else you get on Whatsapp is pure chochma and devorim hoimdim brumoey shel olam
If you don’t want to give so don’t. No need to kvetch. Maybe better not to have whats app altogether
100% agree. It’s totally disrespectful.
Agree as well.Contra to the previous comments-he WANTS to give .& these social media moochers keep taking advantage
when you are asking for an ad, its usually a nice sum of money also you are asking them to give for you.
when you send out a link for a raffle/campaign, you are asking for whatever they can help with at that time and usually with a prize incentive/ for the yeshiva. I’m not saying it’s not frustrating but to get upset about people asking for help seems a bit overblown, if you really can’t give just say no!! I feel right now in klal yisroel sending out request for donations is not a big issue worth dealing with (if it an issue at all) AND I do believe if you can we are obligated to help all yidden if possible
And stop the ROBO CALLS!
Because yeshiva dinners usually have a minimum of 50-100$ ad minimum
On a charidy campaign people can donate 5$ 10$ ,$18
and it also shows as $15 when there’s a 3x matching campaign
If you can’t give, then don’t. If you don’t want to give, then don’t. If you have other tzedakos you prioritize, bills to pay, obligations to meet, or other reasons you find it difficult to give, fine. But at least have the understanding and decency to fargin those who send out requests for donations to the many, many worthy causes that exist in our community.
You get hundreds of unsolicited whatsapps every day with stupid memes and videos. Every lashon harah comment etc… So what if you get solicitations, either give or ignore it and move on. It’s an opportunity for tzeddaka and chessed if you have the money and a minor annoyance if you don’t.
I delete them all. Send me an envelope or I send nothing. I’m old school. Same with kids collecting. No Pushka. no deposit. I’ve seen too many kids not know the difference and move monies around incorrectly.
Plus one for flipphones
No solicitations!
You can have a smart phone with no Whatsapp, also.
Don’t donate and don’t kvetch about it
There is so much wrong with this letter.
Firstly: “ Would I have the audacity to send out a request every single year, asking my friends and family to place an ad for me?
The obvious answer is: absolutely not!”
Wrong.
Nearly every Rosh Mosed I know and most people even tangentially involved ask all of their acquaintances annually or more frequently.
Additionally: “ Especially if it’s for your daughter’s school or high school—why should I feel obligated to contribute to that?“
What? Why? What’s the matter with you? What difference does that make? If you only give to tomchei shabbos and misaskim that’s fine, but where does this idea come from that girls schools are the class of tzedaka that gives you the ick?
Girls schools are struggling financially more than ever before, and put up with the abuse of throngs of people trying to get in only to then call them names and refuse to pay tuition.
Yes, it’s mildly awkward to bump into someone who just sent out a fundraising text that you didn’t give to, but that doesn’t justify you trying to limit who can raise funds how.
There is a much bigger pressure to stay up a whole night of Shavuoes even if you don’t have a chavrusa. If you don’t force yourself to stay up the whole night and then fall asleep during shachris, there is something wrong with you and it will effect your children’s shidduchim. How dare you go to sleep and daven like a mensch the next morning, shalosh rigalim. How dare you daven with kavana and actually have a gifeel during hallel.
Thry may ask. You don’t have to give.
It’s k’dai to watch a video by HaRav Dovid Rube of Khal Ateres Rosh in Wesley Hills.
He addresses your concerns.
No one is forcing you to give. They are offering you an opportunity to support a worthy cause. If you can, great, if you cant, keep going.
Some here are missing a point. It’s wrong to pressure a talmid to pressure his/her family and friends. It’s uncomfortable , it’s stressful. The latest ? Mosads running campaigns 2-3x a year.
Agree. No grandparent, sibling or good friend will ignore the request regardless whether they can afford it. Then there’s the list of who gave what , and let’s see you give $10. It’s absolutely wrong.
To those who write ” you don’t have to give”. You’re PRESSURED to give. Like the collectors in shuls who flash $20 bills plus a credit card machine in the other hand, during prayers.