Frum Girl Loses 200 Pounds to Find a Shidduch


shidduchimA single strong-willed frum girl is openly speaking about her journey with one of the obstacles for finding a shidduch that is rarely discussed in the open: Her weight.

Merav Yitzchaki, 25, and a resident of the Israeli city of Netanya has decided to share her personal story with Hebrew news site of Yediot Achronot.

As part of her attempts to find a proper match, Yitzchaki had undergone a series of operations, lost 205 pounds and redefined the concept of a diet.

“I was always a fat girl,” she admitted. “My parents tried to encourage me, saying that being fat is not an offense, and I preferred to just ignore my weight and eat.”

And Merav did eat, until at the age of 21, when frum girls are getting married or at least dating, she reached the weight of 342 pounds, Akiva Novick reported.

“I was warned that I should be thin when I enter the ‘shidduch’ world, so that I could be matched to a good-looking guy,” she recalls. “But I had already accepted the fact that I would probably be matched to a fat guy and that’s it.”

But Yitzchaki didn’t really accept the situation, and at some point found herself on the operating table at the Assuta hospital in Tel Aviv, where a ring was adjusted on her stomach to reduce her appetite, according to the report in Yediot.

“I started taking things seriously and eating in a healthy way, and with the help of diets the weight just kept falling off until my dietician stopped me,” she says.

She underwent treatments to remove excess skin by by Dr. Tali Friedman, a surgeon from the Assia Medical Center in Tel Aviv, who pointed out that “the problem of obesity is extremely relevant to the charedi-religious sector these days.”

“I have been exposed to many patients from the sector who have undergone weight loss treatments and body shaping. Merav is a very impressive and highly motivated young woman, who has done very well,” says Dr. Friedman.

Yitzchaki is now looking forward to date – which she have not done before. “Even when I had already lost weight, I wasn’t offered any matches because people didn’t know about it. But I know that Hashem will send me what I deserve.”

In the meantime she’s happy (“I thank Hashem 10 times a day”) and recently began working as – believe it or not – a pastry cook. That’s what it’s about, watching but no touching,” she laughs.

{ Newscenter}


  1. I’m very impressed and extremely proud of you Yitzchaki!! Hashem will surely send your Basherta very soon B’sha Tova!! There’s nothing good and healthy about being fat, and you did the right thing. You won’t have regret.

  2. At 342 pounds, its probably healther to get an operation than to live at that weight, regardless of whether you want to impress a shudduch. Health matters.

  3. The story sheds much shame on shidduchim.

    Better to focus on a girl who lost weight to be healthy and serve Hashem better, al pi Torah – Ushmartem m’od es nafshosaichem! Yasher koach to her!

  4. Finally girls are figuring out that if they want to get married they need to make themselves wanted. This holds true for everyone. Not sure why this is so hard to understand.

  5. Nevertheless, as the mother of a boy, I would be concerned about health issues for this young lady. Can she sustain a healthy pregnancy? How many women have had babies after the stomach surgery? Also, I hope that when having the surgery they did it in a way to allow for childbearing.

    May she have only good health and good mazel.

  6. I am struggling with my weight loss, but am taking it one day at a time,and with siyata dishamaya, know I will succeed at getting down to 200 pounds, exercising to tone up, and earning semicha and my MD. After then, I’ll look into shidduchim.

  7. It takes a lot of willpower and determination to lose weight, and this girl should be very proud of herself, However, this girl made one major mistake…..she lost weight for a shidduch, and not for herself A person needs to love themselves enough, and stop hurting themselves, be it smoking, overeating, drinking etc. What will keep this girl from putting all her weight back on if she only did it to catch a man?
    By the way, fat girls do get married.

  8. What is going to happen to her weight after she finds her Bashert will she then gain it all back since she no longer needs to get a date? this is awful she should loose weight for her self only and for the reason of being healthy.

  9. this is not funny. it is very serious. women and men need to have realistic standards. eating disorders can leave to death.

  10. Matzav Editors,
    While I turn to your website for the news multiple times a day, I sometimes scratch my head pondering about the pictures you choose to post. Are you not aware of the chazal that says that even if one looks at the small finger of a woman that even if he has Torah and maasim tovim, it will not save him from dina shel gehenom? Why be machshal people?

  11. I’m more worried about dating a former heavy person then dating someone who is a little overweight. If she’s comes in under 200lbs in 5 years I’ll eat my yarmulka. Your health is like mussar. If you space out it stops working.

  12. Title should be girl loses weight to live until 40, not to find a shidduch.

    But thats the sad truth, I need a shidduch not a longer life

  13. The ignorant comments on here are laughable. Bubbie, seriously? Can you do some research on your own? Weight loss surgery INCREASES the chances of a woman getting pregnant. Putting a “ring around the stomach” does NOTHING to the reproductive system!

    Of course, mothers like Bubbie will STILL find something to say no about, because that’s what they like to do.

  14. #26…I don’t see a picture posted to be machshal anyone. However I do find something disturbing about the whole idea of her advertising this…hence all the silly comments some of you made.
    Nobody had to know exactly how she lost weight, whether it’s for a shidduch or for her own health reasons, which of course is the right reason for losing weight.
    I think she puts herself in emotional jeapordy having advertised herself and going online to spread this. (before I read this, I already had an email in my inbox from a different website with pictures advertising her)Would any self respecting boy be interested in dating a girl that the “whole world” saw her before and after????What a shame, she is a beautiful looking girl and she could have privately done the work and shown up. If anyone would inquire, they might have been told she was heavy…but seeing and hearing are two different things.
    Sorry….I think you made a big mistake…And you, matzav,just exacerbated it…I do hope Hashem helps her find her zivig soon.She is definitely deserving, as is every bas yisroel, and especially after all the effort she put in to look decent and become healthy…No small feat for anyone who has ever tried it….this woman was way over 300 lbs…so kudos to her. May she find her zivig soon…. then matzav, let us know….too,

  15. OMG its mammish a a a a Iam at lost for word is sooo nice the a yidisha madel is not afraid to discuss her “issue” in public!!!!
    Klall Yisreal has come soooo far I mammish I I shep so much Nachas.

    She should find her emmisa zivig sooo soon b’karov mammis!!

  16. #34 there is no need to make fun, ridicule or other. We are talking about a frum kid trying to help herself albeit in a way that does not always agree with everyone. But poking fun has no place in character with the middos we should represent as a “LIGHT ONTO THE NATIONS”.
    We may not always agree with everything, but there sure is a way, tactfully and with Kuvod Habrios to get our messages across. It’s about time we catch up on some “character” and show the world that we are indeed different


  17. #37…Even as a joke…the post is awful… This was a serious issue with the girl and to poke fun of the whole thing is shameful..sorry.