By Avrohom Gordimer
It just happened again. Another popular YCT graduate has opened up to intermarriage.
In a new article entitled Intermarriage Isn’t Good, or Bad, Rabbi Aaron Potek writes:
“Will any particular interfaith couple successfully raise a Jewish family? That depends on many factors, including: Is the Jewish partner able to share Judaism with the Non-Jewish partner? How does the Non-Jewish partner relate to Judaism? Does the non-Jewish partner actively practice another faith? does the couple actively talk about religious differences? Do they have a plan for how they will incorporate Judaism into their home?
“These are important factors for those who are in (or looking to be in) a serious relationship to consider. There is no guaranteed formula for successfully building a Jewish home or raising a Jewish family, though depending on the answers to these questions, couples will have an easier or harder time navigating their differences. What’s important is acknowledging that intermarried couples are not a homogenous bunch. It doesn’t make sense to have a blanket view on intermarriage – you cannot draw conclusions about people’s connection to Judaism without knowing their backgrounds or the complexities of their particular relationships.
“I’ve become much less interested in the question of whether one should date or marry jewish. By focusing on the act of intermarriage, we ignore the far more significant questions: What role does Judaism play in your life, and what do you want your Judaism to look like in a romantic relationship?”
What’s so disturbing – aside from the fact that the writer of the above words seems to feel that intermarriage is something about which one should not “have a blanket view” and he writes that “I’ve become much less interested in the question of whether one should date or marry Jewish” – is that, as someone who presents himself as an (Open) Orthodox rabbi, the halachic aspects of intermarriage and the halachic status of children born from an intermarriage seem to be willingly disregarded. It is true that Rabbi Potek’s article was written for a nondenominational organization, but that does not grant license to toss the Shulchan Aruch away.
Although Rabbi Potek’s article is not able to plausibly serve as a legitimate “kiruv” (outreach) tool, for the article refused to condemn intermarriage, it is quite telling that this is the same Rabbi Potek who last year wrote a controversial article in which he argued that:
“I do not think Jewish organizations should serve only kosher food.”
The article was a rebuttal to an earlier article by Dr. Erica Brown about the importance of Jewish organizations serving kosher food.
Although Yeshivat Chovevei Torah (YCT), which ordained Rabbi Potek and Rabbi Mlotek (the YCT graduate who wrote the other article about intermarriage – Time to Rethink Our Resistance to Intermarriage) issued a statement condemning intermarriage, the Open Orthodox/progressive Orthodox Torat Chayim rabbinical organization publicly posted and appeared to endorse both the Mlotek and Potek articles. Regarding the Mlotek article, Torat Chayim declared:
Rav Avram Mlotek, a Rabbinic member Of Torat Chayim, calls for radical inclusivity on the intermarriage issue!”
Torat Chayim’s membership is comprised of some of the most prominent names in Open Orthodoxy/progressive Orthodoxy, such as Rabbis Daniel Sperber, Nathan Lopez Cardozo, David Rosen, Dov Linzer, Ysoscher Katz, Yitz Greenberg, Shmuly Yanklowitz, Jeremy Rosen, Haim Ovadia, Eugene Korn, Daniel Landes, and many others. Whatever damage control value the YCT statement regarding intermarriage may have is challenged by Torat Chayim’s posting and apparently sanctioning, if not celebrating, the two articles by its members that dilute the anti-intermarriage message. (Please also see here.)
Some online commenters have defended the Mlotek article and argued that it does not represent acceptance of intermarriage, but that its emphasis is rather on how to deal with those who have already married out. However, the best way to understand Rabbi Mlotek’s views on the matter is to read his own words about it.
Replying to comments and questions about his article, Rabbi Mlotek responded to several head-on queries:
Question: I’m curious what you would say to someone who was dating a non Jew and asked you if you thought it was ok for them to get married…
Rabbi Mlotek’s reply: It would depend on the couple and the most honest answer is I don’t know. I believe there is a l’hatchila position and a bdieved one vis-a-vis “intermarriage” but I can’t claim to know what’s right for every couple and it is rare in this day and age for couples to come asking me for their permission vis-a-vis whom to marry.
Question: But in the hypothetical when someone does actually come asking, does it really depend on the couple? Doesn’t halachah give a clear one size fits all answer?…
Rabbi Mlotek’s reply: There seems to be an underlying assumption in your question that halacha works for every Yid. I’m not sure that’s true. While halacha may indeed have a clear answer vis-a-vis who jews should marry, I am not the embodiment of halacha. I strive to answer from a place of halachik integrity while also being sensitive to the shoel before me. Therein is the delicate balance of being open and orthodox, whatever that means.
Question: I’m not sure what you mean by “works for every Yid.” I don’t assume every Jew is ready to follow every halacha. I do assume that if a Jew chooses to ask an Orthodox Rabbi for permission regarding something as clear and fundamental as intermarriage, that the answer should be based in halacha. Considering, as we agree, that it is rare for couples to come asking your permission, if and when they do, that’s a great opportunity for an Orthodox Rabbi to encourage halachic observance to someone who might be open to it.
Rabbi Mlotek’s reply: Agreed. Based in halacha and in the needs of the people before us.
It is clear that Rabbi Mlotek and Rabbi Potek most certainly do not outright condemn intermarriage, to put it generously.
But the issue at hand goes much deeper. It strikes to the heart of what Torah is all about. Is Torah about Surrender (to quote Rav Soloveitchik) – unconditional submission to the halachic process and the Divine Mandate, even if we at times do not understand it and even though it may conflict with contemporary human values? Or is Torah about fusing Halacha and traditional Judaism with contemporary human values and arriving at a compromise? When progressivism, pluralism, egalitarianism, feminism and other contemporary values are extolled as virtues in and of themselves, and Judaism is presented as something into which these secular values must somehow fit, the resultant concoction is toxic.
The unchallenged supremacy of Halacha as interpreted by its preeminent authorities is the theme of Parshas Korach. Imposing outside values upon Judaism, or extoling those values to the extent that they ipso facto become a prominent part of one’s Judaism, is a deviation from Torah. We must learn from those whose teachings resonate with Torah purity, so that when we leave the beis medrash, the only message reverberating in our minds is “Moshe emes v’Soraso emes” – “Moshe and his Torah are the truth.”
This article was originally published on Cross Currents.
{Matzav}
I believe this is great news. Intermarriage is a red line that most people except the most ignorant understand. They will keep pushing the envelope until they lose most of their targeted audience.
Rabbits not rabbis. That’s what these rascals are
As a progressive society it is time that the United States took the final step: recognizing interspecial marriage. Although the New York State Appellate Court recently ruled that chimpanzees cannot be awarded legal person-hood status, this should not deter us from joining the struggle to give animals the same rights as humans. After all it was only recently that the Courts and the Legislatures gave legal recognition to unions that a generation ago would have been condemned as an abomination. See how forward-thinking we have become?
Apekind be patient! Your time will come!
I challenge your claim that Rabbi Dr. Nathan Lopes Cardozo shlita is a member of any Open Orthodox organization. While you may not agree with his Torah philosophy, it would behoove you to be more respectful of him. On top of everything else, he is a Gair Tzedek.
Ahavas Yisroel is not limited to persons we agree with.
He is a member of Torah Chayim, which actually be to the left of OO.
Both “Rabbis” Potek and Mlotek are plain and simple nut cases. Pay no attention to their mad rants.
Frowning hate.
Hashem sends messages. When the new order of a new ‘branch’ of ‘orthodox’ becomes exactly the hate and toeivah of past hate called jewish “movements” it is the same crime.
Kosher homes are timed in moon joyful mind. If we ever accept intermarriage, every word of Torah is destroyed.
Mocking Israel is always one new ‘classy’ idea after another begun to make the very concerned gloom nameless before a judge that blind hate fathoms very angry.
Moons come. The complaint gets bigger bold mockery and hate. The anyone wanting anything other than Torah is forever abomination and sin.
Holy is kept. We daven.
The King only can change whether the toeivah vanishes. It is total hate and orthodox blessing must discuss and trust G-d to vindicate.
This is a total lie.
My goodness. . What kund if writing is this???????!!!
Potek and Mlotek versus the Shulchan Oruch. What is really unfair, is that such well educated and progressive clergymen didn’t include a rabbah, or a maharat to form a beit din to formalize their ruling. At the very least, a goy like Shmuli Yanklowitz, himself a product of intermarriage and a poster child of what’s wrong with it, should have been a part of a triumvirate.
This “posek” needs a counter argument with a raw hide “pasik”.
There are plenty of people out there with opinions like this. The only thing that makes this case complicated is that the rabbi is described as Open Orthodox, whatever that means. The “open” certainly fits, but Orthodox? The paragraphs quoted seem to fit very nicely into Conservative ideology.
Isn’t open orthodoxy just reform ideals with a mechitza? Confused a bit but if they do not have the mechitza, they really are conservative. Every variety of problem for the jews to exist has been tried. This just fit satan’s paradigm.
Is Open Orthodox a new terminology for Reform? One who has such opinions of halachah might very well not be Jewish. Wouldn’t be surprised that “rabbi” Mlotek comes from mixed marriage.
“In a world without G-d, everything is permitted.” -Fyodor Dostoyevsky (1821–1881)
RABBI GORDIMER: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR FINE WORK. I WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST TO PLEASE STOP USING THE WORD ORTHODOX WHEN DESCRIBING THESE PEOPLE. THAT IS HALF THE PROBLEM.
IF YOU GIVE THEM ANY LEGITIMACY THEY WILL STAY IN BUSINESS.
Obviously, YCT should stop ordaining rabbis whose names end in -tek.
Seriously, they should be more selective in their admissions policy. Heterodox in, heterodox out.
We have a long history of examining others such as conservative, reform, open orthodox, and the like, with high power microscopes. Has proven completely non-productive, just the joy of hearing our own voices.
If instead we expended the time and energy on bettering ourselves, that might be more useful. Let’s try it and find out.
FWIW this is not by me.
The real Charlie Hall, who has not commented here in a very long time.
We examine Torah. Torah examines the soul.
If we have congregations and individuals who hate our Torah values, we have a right to step to War. This is not a place in sane thought to obey a King and think his other problem children are well to stand before you or others in their hate of the Law.
In all, spend all your time thinking of the unorthodox. You will stand before the King and you can tell him you are angry.
Otherwise, you are lazy and as guilty of not defending Torah values. You will find no rights to grow strong and you will fail.
Shema.
Bettering ourselves while they take innocent people down??? Me thinks not. It is an OBLIGATION to speak out which does not preclude working on ourselves.
Dont mix apple and oranges.
When someone DOES,an AVEIRA and we see it, we are OBLIGATED to SPEAK OUT.
Sorry,”The sure cause for evil to flourish is when good men do nothing”
Or
Shabbos 54:
This is for Charles
More importantly, will the Dolphins be successful this year, or are we headed for another teaser followed by the usual heartbreak? Something to consider, regardless of where the mechitza might be located.
Unlikely .
Now back to What’s more important
This crowd is beyond
Conservative
They’re virtually Reform