[COMMUNICATED]
It was a cold and rainy winter day as the Tauber kids stood by the window and watched their father drive away. Little did they know, their Tatty would never return to that apartment. After 15 years of marriage, the Taubers went through an extremely painful divorce.
Mother Bracha Tauber, however, was determined to still give her kids the best life she could. She raised her kids completely on her own, and continues to work 12 hour days. She arrives at the office before the sun has fully risen, and leaves when it is once again dark. She’ll do whatever she can do to give her children what they need – even if that means napping at her desk during her lunch break.
A recent development, however, has shown Bracha that even her greatest efforts may not be good enough: Her son Yechiel is engaged. Despite growing up without a father, Yechiel has blossomed into a lovely young man. He learns diligently in yeshiva, and is now a chassan as well.
In order to secure the shidduch, the family must provide an apartment. Within the Tauber’s community this is the absolute norm. Without this steep fee, her son will never get married. Affording an apartment, or a simple wedding, or any of the expenses involved, however, is an impossibility. Even with her 12-hour work days, Bracha barely makes it to the end of the month.
If Yechiel Tauber’s engagement is called off, it will be a huge devastation to the family. Firstly because it will be the most recent form of pain and humiliation they have experienced in a long line of them. Secondly because it means that none of the children in the family will be able to get a shidduch, unless something huge changes.
A hachnasas kallah fund has been started to help Yechiel Tauber and his kallah get married with dignity. Though the Tauber kids have grown up without a father, donors can join together to make sure the couple know they do have a family: The Jewish People.
“In order to secure the shidduch, the family must provide an apartment. Within the Tauber’s community this is the absolute norm.” Correct me if I’m wrong, as the article doesn’t specify in which country this family resides in, apartments cost at least half a million $ in EY, so does “providing an apartment” mean paying the entire $500k or 10% down payment of $50k? Even in case of “only” 50k down payment on top of every other wedding expense and for every kid, very few families, even in the United States, can afford it. Therefore, if your community is so much into gashmius as to require such unaffordable expenditures just to keep up with the Joneses, perhaps you’d be better off to find a community that’s more into ruchnius and less into showing off. Or, are you not in EY, but in America and you are talking about renting an apartment: then why the 50k goal – it takes a few thousand dollars to pay a month deposit and a first month rental payment?! This whole article doesn’t make sense: you embarrassed the family by providing their names and personal details, yet you omitted actually important financial details that justify whether or not this is a legitimate charity campaign. Additionally, who is actually collecting, how much of the amount collected gets to the family, how much is the collector’s “administrative expenses”, which reliable person can vouch that these recipients exist altogether? Please don’t interpret my concerns as a reason to avoid giving tsedaka. Quite the opposite: please give, however a true tsedaka requires giving to an intended recipient, and just giving to some middle man without a clearly disclosed financial details is questionable to say the least, and it could be (I said could, not is – all depending on actual facts) a theft from the real aniim of Am Yisroel.
I think it’s a great custom of giving a down payment for kids to purchase a house or apartment. Instead of throwing tens of thousands of dollars for one night, just invite 25 people from each side to a seudah in a small hall and make a simple meal and no fancy setup with a party planner, gown rentals and professional makeup artists and give the $ instead for the kids to use for a down payment. And then instead of paying the exhorbitant rent, they will pay instead towards the mortgage of their own home.
Eloping just costs the price of two bus tickets, or you can hitchhike.