Technology- Is it Worth the Cost?

There is no denying that we benefit greatly from technology. There are tremendous opportunities for chesed online. One can listen to, and be inspired by an infinite amount of shiurim available on all levels. Through social media, we can even reconnect to our childhood friends we haven’t spoken to in decades. And yet, as I often have this conversation with individuals who are trying to convince me of this perspective, I still find myself wondering: is it all worth it?  

Over the last decade, countless articles and speeches have proliferated lamenting all of the dangers of technology. Some have expounded on the immense amount of time being wasted as we aimlessly scroll away. Others continue to remind us how the inappropriate content damages our neshamas. Mental health professionals have attempted to explain the comparative lifestyle and subsequent jealousies that are an inevitable consequence of staying up to date on other people’s lives. While all of these challenges should certainly give us pause, one can easily make the argument that they are possibly outweighed by all of the benefits. So we must ask ourselves- is it worth it?

The Real Danger of Technology 

In his Kuntrus L’Chasanim, Rav Shlomo Volbe, zt’l, raises a basic, yet profound point. He explains that the first practical step in building shalom bayis is “simas lev tamid – to be constantly paying attention.” Of course giving and communication are of crucial importance. However, neither of those steps, nor any other, can be taken unless each spouse is concentrating and thinking about their marriage. Only then can he or she begin the process of building a strong and healthy relationship. Many other gedolim (not to mention mental health professionals as well), have applied this perspective to all aspects of our lives. One cannot begin to work on their Emunah or their Bein Adam L’Chaveiro if they are too distracted to even realize that there is something to work on.

There was a time not too long ago when people lived with a constant purpose. We began our day saying modeh ani, paying close attention to the words, and feeling the gratitude they emit. We went on with our day striving to achieve, to grow. We felt a deep connection to our spouses and nurtured that connection on a constant basis. Our children felt our love because they knew they had our full attention at all times. We went to sleep at night motivated to build on our accomplishments tomorrow, while still feeling comfortable with our failures. We lived with goals and we pushed ourselves through the grind of life to reach those goals. 

But now the world has changed and we have changed with it. Our first thoughts in the morning are no longer to thank Hashem for another day, but rather to see who updated their Whatsapp status. We struggle to concentrate on our spouse in lieu of yet another email from work. Communication skills have been reduced to our creativity using emojis and gifs. Our children who are right in front of us have to beg for our attention because we fear missing out on something happening with strangers far off in the distance. Our goals and aspirations are too difficult to see through the glaring light blinding our vision. Toddlers become fully skilled with an iPad long before they can even read or write. Their imaginations have been stifled under the constant stimulation of the bright lights and sounds. Shuls and yeshivas have become literal “hotspots”. 

As a people, as a world, we have succumbed to the greatest challenge of technology- we have lost focus. It is this loss of focus, this loss of the ability to lead fully attentive and purposeful lives that should compel us to reassess the scales and rethink our perspectives on technology. 

On a recent visit to the doctor’s office, I noticed a sign on the desk: “Please turn your cell phone off so that you and your provider can focus on what is important- your healthcare.” Perhaps this same sentiment should be plastered on billboards across the world: “Please turn your cell phone off so that you can focus on what is important- your life.” Is there anything more impactful than a heartfelt tefilah or seeing the Yad Hashem in everything that happens to us? Nothing is more important to our children than knowing they have our full focus when they are telling us what happened to them in school that day. Our friendships will only be as meaningful as the effort we put in to nurture them.

Rav Volbe gives a practical, yet beautiful example of what it means to focus in one’s home. Imagine a wife who goes out of her way to buy a vase that she feels will brighten up their home. At the end of the day, her husband comes home reeling from a day spent balancing countless responsibilities and distractions. Yet, he is still able to marshal his focus to compliment his wife on putting in the effort to add that extra warmth to their home. The effort, the giving, and the gratitude, all become possible because of the focus.  

It is true that technology and the internet have afforded us tremendous conveniences and opportunities. It is also true that it all has come at a cost. That cost should demand of us that we focus enough to at least ask the question: Is it worth it?

Rabbi Ephraim Goldman is the Director of Community Education for Project Focus and TAG Chicago. He is also a Rebbe and Mashgiach at the Fasman Yeshiva High School (Skokie Yeshiva).