Recently, I have been wondering why we still hear about the shidduch crisis and why there are still organizations pushing to “close the age gap.” It has been well over a decade of very focused efforts to solve the crisis and it seems like more than enough time to solve it. If it has not been solved, then isn’t it time we ask ourselves if the current strategies will ever be successful?
There is an old quote that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results. Do we really think that if we run just a few more ads or another kol koreh on Matzav.com that it will solve the crisis? If ads were the answer, weren’t the first 10,000 ads enough? Also, when will the plane of that poor bochur who is featured in the ads take off already?
If after all these years and efforts, there is still a crisis, then something is really not working. Don’t we need fresh ideas and new blood addressing the issue? Over the last 10-15 years, so many communal issues have been addressed in substantial and tangible ways, so many people have been helped, and so many families have a brighter day each and every day – all because of well-meaning people who delivered on a vision they had to help the yochid and the tzibbur. And yet the shidduch crisis is still sputtering at square one.
This is the season of outsiders making waves. Maybe we need an outsider to challenge the old thinking and the establishment, which has tried so hard to solve the shidduch crisis but seems not to have been successful.
There is another question we need to ask ourselves: What if the issues that cause the crisis are deeper than the age gap? Maybe, despite so many people’s best efforts, time and money, closing the age gap is not the solution. This does not negate the sechar of those who tried, but it might be time for them to focus their efforts someplace else.
A Concerned Parent