The Matzav Shmoooze: What Will Be With Us, Bochurim?

52

Dear Editor,

I write this letter as an insider. Not from what I hear from others. But as a bochur experiencing what I write.

I am acting as a whistleblower, exposing what is happening right now to the hundreds of Bocherim who would have been in Eretz Yisroel- to those who do not understand the full extent of the crisis we are in.

You may have been affected terribly by the Corana virus. But if you are like most people, you are probably past the worst of it and moving on with your life.

What exactly does “moving on with your life” mean?

You are slowly getting back to the comfort of day to day living the way it was 4 months ago, and enjoying the normalcy you are used to.

Yes, there are still many obstacles preventing life from getting back to “regular”, and many schools and camp cannot reopen.

But the parents and Rabbeim are doing a great job, doing the best they can ensuring every child, teenager and Bochur can strive and grow even in times like these.

It’s not perfect.

But it’s working for now.

But is it working for everyone?

You may not be aware, but there are hundreds if not thousands of Bochurim who aren’t just- “not past the Corona crisis”. But are actually in a much worse position than they were at the height of the pandemic.

Right now, we are the Korbanos getting hit harder than anyone else in Klal Yisroel, and I do not say this lightly.

Why, you ask?

Rosh Yeshivos and Rabbeim take Achrayis for their Bochurim currently learning in their Yeshiva.

That is the most logical and understandable approach for any responsible Rosh Yeshiva- to take care of the Bochurim currently entrusted to him.

But who takes Achrayis for those Bocherim when they graduate Yeshiva?

The Rosh Yeshiva of the next Yeshiva they attend, of course!

Or if they go to Eretz Yisroel, the system in place cultivates the maturing process of a 22 year old, teaching him to grow on his own in a new country.

But what happens when Corona virus hits right in that transition phase, and leaves a freshly graduated Yeshiva Bochur without a new Rosh Yeshiva to ensure he has the tools to survive, nor the opportunity to grow in a new environment in Eretz Yisroel?!

What happens to that Bochur?

Does he stand a chance?

Do you understand the everyday struggles every Bochur faces to do what’s right in today’s day and age EVEN WHEN EVERYTHING IS PERFECT!

Bochurim are hit so hard with today’s nisyonos… it’s a nais that any Bochur stays frum altogether.

Then strip him of his Yeshiva, Rosh Yeshiva and any Hadracha.

Does he stand a chance?

Do any of us stand a chance?

It is very easy for us Bocherim to brush aside these concerns and ensure ourselves that everything will be fine in a matter of weeks.

Let’s just enjoy the down time till things sort themselves out!

But what about the fact that the Israeli government says thay will not be letting in American boys until Chanukah?

Will our state of Ruchnious just stay frozen in place until next Pesach?!

What? Are we plain old stupid?

I’m “in” the crisis.

I promise you. I never thought I’d ever see Bochurim struggle so hard.

I’m talking about GOOD BOCHERIM.

Not Shvacha guys.

The best of the best.

Yes, they try so hard to do what’s right.

But after so many weeks with no plan in sight… we’re losing it.

There seems to be a plan for everyone.

But us.

Where are all the askanim who manage to take care of every crisis?

What’s this, if not a crisis?

A Bochur in Pain

{Matzav.com}

52 COMMENTS

  1. I actually heard this concern from a few of my neighbors. There are many bochrim 17- 20 who are stuck at home. The good bochrim have their chavrusos but they don’t really have the normal structure you have in yeshiva. Then you have the kids who are not learners. In yeshiva they flow with the crowed and a good mashgiach guides them. Whose guiding these kids now? Hshem yishmor

    • Yeh, but at least the age-gap hoax hustlers should be very happy. Now they can finally fix the age-gap crisis once and for all. Maybe the whole reason the Aibishter brought the Coronavirus onto this world was just to correct the age-gap problem. You never know.

  2. True, but a tad dramatic, and no need to downplay other’s tzaros in order to highlight your own.
    Yes you guys have it hard. It’s not a competition between who was/is hit hardest. Furthermore, I’m sure seminary girls have a similar story as well. So let’s try and stay away from the comparisons..
    BeH there will be clarity soon!

    • nooo, Most seminary girls (though disappointing), will do perfectly fine moving on without their seminary year by getting a job or going to college locally. Not so with the bochurim. I know Nasi will advocate for them to just skip this stage & get married, but many guys need this time to mature & reach their full potential before entering the parsha…
      They also have a lot more to lose in ruchnius by sitting idle.

  3. There’s a Moradikeh Maggid Shiur Hagaon R’ Avrohom Y. Shachatovitz- from the famous Kollel Shishi- Kollel Kodshim in Eretz Yisroel. He’s opening up Elul Zman for the top Bochurim in America. My brother and many of his Chaverim are going next zman. Seems like it’s the newest big Hock! They’re almost full, but it might be k’dai to look into it.

  4. How about a in-Eretz Yisrael Yeshiva?
    True, you had your heart set on going, but that’s a disappointment, not a disaster. Many bochrim do just fine staying local. No, they do better – they actually flourish with their new Rebbeim. (Believe it or not, not everyone who goes to Eretz Yisrael is matzliach.)
    Bocher’l, you sound like a spoiled brat, negating everyone else’s new reality while bemoaning your own loss of your perceived lechatchila.
    This ‘crisis’ is a mindset.
    Hatzlacha.

  5. Your comment is awaiting moderation
    How about a local, non-Eretz Yisrael Yeshiva?
    True, you had your heart set on going, but that’s a disappointment, not a disaster. Many bochrim do just fine staying local. No, they do better – they actually flourish with their new Rebbeim. (Believe it or not, not everyone who goes to Eretz Yisrael is matzliach.)
    Bocher’l, you sound like a spoiled brat, negating everyone else’s new reality while bemoaning your own loss of your perceived lechatchila.
    This ‘crisis’ is a mindset.
    Hatzlacha.

  6. This is a real issue. The fact is that many boys realize life changing growth that for whatever reason they cannot/ do not experience at home. What will be? What about those “between yeshivos”? What about those in the midst of real shteiging in EY, interrupted, dumped back into the environment they were trying to grow past. What will be???

  7. I would like to title the article ‘a bored bochur with an imagination’
    Um…lets see. A responsible R”Y takes care of his bochurim even after they graduate. Yours isn’t. Well, take that up with him. A bochur with his head on straight just stayed in his Yeshiva that he was in previously.

  8. How do you know that Yeshivas will not take American boys until Chanukah? Is that the same for seminaries? I didn’t see that anywhere…

  9. Let some Roshei Yeshivas open a yeshiva or 2 geared to the Eretz Yisroel bochurim who are here. If needed, open up out-of-town with a dormitory,, so the E Y bochurim will have an out-of-home experience closer to home.

  10. Bochur, just get together all those in your situation, and arrange to learn all in the same BM, with the same schedule, etc. etc. It can all be done. And although you’ll miss some elements of a zman in EY, you will instead have the great סיפוק of overcoming this challenge and helping other do so. הצלחה

  11. I think people should not be mocking a legitimate article sharing a very important issue. Yes this doesn’t mean other people dont have major problems caused by the pandemic whether due to illness or the risk of illness or other closures but it is a major issue. In regards to those who say just find a local yeshiva its obviously not so simple : firstly noone really knows what is happening so its hard to make alternative plans when you dont know what will happen with your original plans. Also there are also problem for people going to yeshivos within the country they are not all opening fully neccesarilly and etc.

  12. Pained Bochur, while you are correct in your assertion that you won’t be going back to EY anytime soon, why is that the worst thing in the world?

    Most bochurim went back to their old yeshivos and have continued shteiging.

    An opportunist can take advantage of the situation and open a Yeshiva geared towards EY aged bochurim, but don’t forget, bochurim managed very well before the EY craze started approximately 30 years ago, and we can manage fine now too. It all depends on your attitude.

    Who knows, this may even be the beginning of the end of the EY craze.

    • How dare you call EY a craze??? You’re really a גלות איד. True there are סכנות for an immature בחור or girl who goes mainly for the חוויה but when the מדרש says אין תורה כתורת ארץ ישראל it is still true today. I know, because I’ve seen my nephews. And not one learned in Brisk, they were just regular guys. You, on the other hand, seem to be more in the category of someone who doesn’t even long for ארץ ישראל. How sad, because it just shows how entrenched you are in גלות, that you don’t even begin to realize how far you are. You should at least w a n t to want EY.

  13. I understood from this article that this bochur is waiting for an asken to do something. Well “קריינא דאגרתא איהו ליהוי פרוונקא the one who comes up with a good idea should do it” (rashi parshas balak regarding pinchas). You can be an asken also. Get your friends together and higher the right Magidei Shiur and Mashgiach and split the costs among yourselves. Everyone can be an asken, including you.

  14. To all the people who are saying this isn’t an issue: there are hundreds of boys rolling around the streets doing nothing. Guys who came back for Pesach and got stuck here. Some of them found a place but many did not. I haven’t seen one magazine article or headline discussing the crisis, but I was wondering why the world at large has not come up with a more generalized solution for the time-being. (Elul is being figured out- the issue is from now until then.) I am not one of those boys but a sibling of one and watching the deterioration is very painful.

  15. This problem is real!!

    Some of the above suggestions might be a partial solution, for some of the “better bochurim”. But for the younger, and “shvacher bochurim “ there is simply NOTHING comparable that remotely accomplishes what the yeshivos is EY do for these boys.

  16. Might I suggest that if you are 22 years old and you still have not found yourself a rebbi, and need the same Yeshiva structure you needed in 1st grade or you have a complete meltdown, you have a serious issue? This pandemic has been hard for everyone. No one knows what will be, and we are all scrambling to find answers. Learn in America, make chavrusos, or join one of the many open yeshivos in the tri-state area. Also, grow up.

  17. I to am a bochur, let me tell you all a little story:
    There was once a boy who was very nice, but was pretty average.
    Then he went to yeshiva, there he realized that he could make something out of himself and he began to grow.
    Fast forward three years, this boy had built himself, he was known in Yeshiva as a wonderfull bochur who took his learning and avodas Hashem seriously, at that point he realized he would do better if he was away from his home and he left his hometown, as a 12th grader and under the tutelage of his new rabbeim he matured to a point where he began to understand Yiddishkeit, he was happy and hopefull. Then the corona virus struck… This bochur like so many others could not learn remotely, he just could not concentrate, things went downhill from there.
    Last night that bochur finally broke down. He shed tears quietly as he thought about who had been and who he had become. That bochur is me.
    Let me tellyou a secret, no matter how many emails a yeshiva sends you about the success of their bochurim under the recent conditions… dozens didn’t make it. Boys who had the potential to be future leaders of Klal Yisroel are shedding tears in their bed at night, yo just domt know it. Don’t dismiss these claims as those of a random kid in a yeshiva for the struggling, I was/am a decent bochur in a top yeshiva who was close to his rabbeim.
    Yeshivos are the life-blood of Klal Yisroel, thats probably why R’ Chaim Voloziner made them.
    Realize thas as time passes we are sacrificing the future of Klal Yisroel.
    I am working in a camp… some children cant daven or bench because they’ve been out of school so long. Where are they headed?
    What exactly makes me a brat for wanting desperatly to keep Torah alive… for wanting to be who I strived to be for four of my prime years… For wanting to succeed in yiddishkeit… to be a ben-Torah… I don’t know.
    We lost 1.5 million children in the holocaust, we cant afford any more.
    I know I’m going to be torn apart in the next few comments by sharp tongued individuals who for some reason are mechanchim and daas torah, its going to hurt, so one person, I beg of you, tell me that I havent typed this letter for nought, tell me you will do somethig. PLEASE…

    • thank you,
      i’m watching this crises wishing something can be done and wondering why everyone is ignoring this issue, they all talk about the marriages and wedding that are hard at this time but no one mentions yeshivas, they talk about what the seminary girls lost when their year ct short but no mention on yeshiva’s, it is not just not being able to come in from america to israel for yeshiva it is also israeli boys stuck with their yeshivos closed down for several months, most of them have restarted but for a lot it was too late.
      i finally saw yesterday someone cry out about it- the brisker rav -rav avraham yehoshua. i hope this wakes people up to look for a solution.
      don’t tell me to be the askan i am a young girl watching my brothers and neighbors and believe it or not even thought several times how this must be the case with many other boys all over that i do not know all over.
      GET OUT OF YOUR BUBBLE PEOPLE! DON’T THINK ONLY ABOUT YOUR OWN STRUGGLES OR THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW PERSONALLY, WE ARE ALL CONNECTED AND MUST FIND WAYS TO HELP EACH OTHER!!
      thank you.

  18. I’m a bachur who’s time in Israel got cut short because of the virus. He is correct about how difficult it is even for me, and certainly for those that weren’t there yet. Many of my friends that haven’t made it to Israel yet, are going through a very rough time. Those that are ignorant and suggested going to BMG should just know that they don’t accept new bachurim until after succos.
    At the same time, as painful as it is, there are hundreds of fresh almanos and yesomim whose unimaginable pain and quiet homes will never return to normal. There are thousands that lost their parnasah ect. Us bachurim will count our blessings if this is the worst we get.

  19. I’m a bachur who’s time in Israel got cut short because of the virus. The author is correct about how difficult it is even for me, and certainly for those that weren’t there yet. Many of my friends that haven’t made it to Israel yet, are going through a very rough time. Those that are ignorant and suggested going to BMG should just know that they don’t accept new bachurim until after succos.
    At the same time, as painful as it is, there are hundreds of fresh almanos and yesomim whose unimaginable pain and quiet homes will never return to normal. There are thousands that lost their parnasah ect. Us bachurim will count our blessings if this is the worst we get.

  20. Many of the comments are questioning, “Why not go back to your previous Yeshiva?” While some bochurim can and are, many cannot. The Yeshivos won’t take them back. The 12th grade boys did graduate, and they need a place to go. There is no place to bring the old bochurim back to.

    Most Yeshivos are built on a specific number of year programs. Once a bochur has decided to leave, and then he is ‘forced’ to remain, he often becomes less than a positive asset to the Yeshiva, and can easily become a liability with a negative attitude to his current situation. The Rosh Yeshiva needs these bochurim to move on. And these bochurim need to move on.

    The question is how to handle it, and that is what this bochur is bringing to our attention. It’s similar to the seminary question. You’re not going to tell the girls to go back to their previous school for another half a year… Why tell that to the boys? And no one knows how long it will last, so it’s very hard to plan. No one is going to invest in opening a yeshiva that may be out of business by Sukkos or Chanukah.

    What are next year’s seminary girls soppose to do for the next 4 months. Take a job for 4 months? Who’s hiring and training a girl who is planning on leaving as soon as she can? And starting seminary classes in the US is a joke. No one is spending $20k+ for their daughter to go to Israel for the classes. They are going to there to become independent adults, see what life in artzeinu hakidosha is, connect with real Eretz Yisroel yidden. Not just listen to classes.

    So just what is the plan for bochurim and seminary girls?

  21. Maybe its time ro feel the pain of the bochorum that are rejected by our system for not having the best head and our yeshivas are designed to only take top boys.

  22. אין דבר העומד בפני הרצון.
    If you are a Bochur who is on the cusp of going to Eretz Yisroel to learn for a year, and your true רצון is to be a Talmid Chacham, a “good learner,” then nothing should and nothing can stand in your way. Chazal said it, and it’s our Mesorah.
    No one should minimize your struggle – for it is truly a struggle – but crying about it on the internet or waiting for someone else to solve your issue will not work. Everyone, and I mean everyone is struggling. Every single Yid is going through some sort of crisis. Not one person is immune.
    But if it is your WILL to turn out the way you envisioned yourself turning out, nothing should be able to stand in your way – not even COVID-19.
    Life is full of speed-bumps, some higher and harder to navigate than others. Those who lift themselves up by their bootstraps and get over the challenges are all the better for it.
    Stop crying on the internet, and come up with an idea that will get you to the place you want to be – if that is your true רצון. If it’s not your true רצון, then you will use this as an excuse to fail in your mission.
    I wish you much strength and Hatzlacha.
    Hang in there, and be strong in the face of challenge.

  23. You are self centered. You are “talking about good bochurim and not shvache bochurim”

    Why do you single out the shvache bocurim? You should be eqully concerened about them if not more. You should be mentoring them and building them up.

    Your statement is a form of bullying.

    A good bochur would be interested in helping others while growing in his own way.

    Si in addition to the title good, shvach, add inconsiderate-self centered to which category you belong

  24. Why mention bochurim only. Yungerleit are having it just as hard. It’s crazy A person who wants to be a ben Alia is having an impossible time!

  25. How do you expect anyone here to convince the Govt in EY to open its country to “outsiders” as it is facing a second wave? You consider yourselves korbanos? Sorry but I dont know how you can feel this way when there are many yeshivos here in the USA.

  26. “But who takes Achrayis for those Bocherim when they graduate Yeshiva?”

    Here is a wild idea.

    how about this the bocherim.
    Let the bocherim take achrayis for themselves

    grow up

    • All these ridiculous cries of “grow up”, and “take care of yourself” are obviously coming strait from people who are ignorant and clearly were never in the modern day yeshiva system. From mesivta to bais medrash to EY to BMG every bochur has a system set up in which he is surrounded by torah and great people constantly all designed to help him grow to his fullest potential constantly. An ignorant guy like “Emes” clearly thinks that bachurim, like the rest of the world just need a place to be for a 10 years and while they’re there they’ll happen to just to learn torah because its a good thing to , and why not. And when that doesn’t work out , like in a crises like this, then just go to work or college or go fly a kite or something , no one really cares. What “emes” and some of the above fail to realize is that these bachurim are way more idealistic than them and that they need , yes, need a sevivah of a yeshiva to accomplish their goals, and that being stuck at home for 5 months is horrible, terrible for them. We’re talking about a group of bachurim numbering in the high hundreds maybe a little more who need more than anyone else to go to EY. Not the tens of thousands who flock their for the summer, succos, pesach. Maybe the gov’t there should be pushed by our askanim and our charaidi MK’s to allow these bachurim entry.

  27. All you bone-headed ppl giving saying stupid things like “ grow up “ just explain why so many youth struggle. Tone deaf adults completely out of touch with the plight of our bochurim

  28. Call You rosh yeshiva from the last yeshiva you attended. This is the crisis of not understanding how to be a talmid. There is a sickness of yeshiva hopping. I know for certain at any stage of life My Rebbe will always be available for my issues help me through them with guidence. GET A REBBE MUVHOK>

  29. Obviously, you have to be flexible. You can’t despair because your yeshiva in EY is closed. You have to find a yeshiva here and you have to be proactive and not wait for an askan to take responsibility. This is your and everyone’s avodah now – to be flexible and accept and ADAPT to the changes Hashem is demanding. No one said it was easy but it is possible and you can do it. Hashem will not let you fall but you have to get yourself together and do what you can given the situation and trust in Hashem. You might want to call Rabbi Zwiebel at Agudas Yisroel or anyone else that you think can help. Writing this letter was a great first step!!! Thank you for writing it and just keep moving. Don’t stand still and wait!!!

  30. Rabbi Mattis Rokach and Rabbi Moshe Friedman from Yeshivas Ohel Yaakov of Monsey opened a Yeshiva in Pennsylvania. There are 300 bochurim there.

  31. is matzav censoring posts? matzav should change their name to shaker to obscure issues because you want to create a certain narrative is obscene!

  32. met someone this past Shabbos, as we were walking, who told me that a chasidish young man saw him wearing a mask and asked him, “So you still hold from corona?” Is this what it has come to? COVID will disappear based on whether we “hold” of it or not?

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