At a time when the coronavirus is ravaging communities in every corner of the world, it appears COVID-19 presents far more problems than meet the eye.
Reports have surfaced in numerous countries of a dramatic increase in domestic violence complaints as more families find themselves secluded at home with little or no outlet for their worries and fears.
Domestic violence complaints in the Hubei Province of China, where the virus first appeared, have tripled, with 162 reports filed since a lockdown was imposed in February, compared to 47 complaints over the same period of last year.
“The epidemic has had a huge impact on domestic violence. According to our data, 90 of the domestic violence cases are related to the coronavirus,” said Wan Fei, a police officer in Hubei.
Read more at Arutz Sheva.
{Matzav.com}
Milchemes Gog Umagog before Moshiach comes = domestically.
Oy vey!
A special SWAT team of the Shalom Task Force should be immediately dispatched to China to deal with the terrrible lack of Shalom Bayis there, and save the נשים צדקניות של סין, even if they never went to Beis Yankev for one day in their lives, or never even heard of it at all.
KASHE KEKRIYAS YAM SUF…
At this time when many adults and children have to stay home all day long, it could put an extra strain on the relationship between spouses and could cause problems with Sholom Bais, I would like to share my Drosha that I said at Sheva Brochos a while ago. I think the idea in this Drosha could help people to look differently at their marriage and have more peace in their home, and, maybe, help others to find their Shiduch more easily.
There are famous words in Gemora that compare the difficulty in finding the right Shiduch (finding spouse – to be your partner for the whole life) to the difficulty of Kriyas Yam Sum (splitting of the sea).
I read a beautiful Drosha in a book on Parashat Ashavua from Rav Chaim Yisroel Belsky ztz’l. In parashas BeShalach he brings down explanation from Rav Yakov Kamenetzky ztz”l regarding that statement in Gemora, who asks how can we say that there things, like Parnosa (earning livelihoods) or Shiduchim, are as difficult as splitting the sea. Can we say that splitting of the see was difficult for Hashem ? Nothing is difficult for Him. So Rav KamenetzkI would quote Chazal (Chagiga 12a) that Hashem composed rules of nature with immense chochma and created the world according to a precise plan. By definition, the performance of miracles abrogates chukey hateva (laws of nature). Thus, when Chazal say that Kriyas Yam Suf is “difficult” for Hashem they are not referring to the difficulty of the act , but rather to the need to act contrary to the wisdom with which He endowed the world.
Only at certain moments in history and for certain reasons Hashem does open miracles, that clearly contradict laws of the nature.
If we use that idea we can understand why Shiduchim are difficult. The splitting of the sea required change in the nature of water. So when a man is looking for a Shiduch he needs to be ready to change, to a certain degree, his nature. But if that is so by Shiduchim, it’s even more true during marriage.
And if we follow this line of logic we can see the deep meaning of Hashem’s statement: “I will make for him (Adam) ‘ezer kenegdo’ (wife)”.
What kind of wife could be considered ‘ezer kenegdo’ – ‘help kenegdo’, a wife that Hashem sends to a man.
Kenegdo in Hebrew could have two meanings. ‘Kenegdo’ could mean – against him. Or – according, corresponding to him (like we use in expression “mida keneged mida” – measure for measure.
So, when is the wife a real help for her husband? – When she is ‘kenegdo’ – against him, corresponding to him.
Let me explain this idea. What is the purpose/s for person to be brought into this world? One of them is to build him/herself into righteous person, to be a mensch, to grow spiritually. How can we achieve it? Through overcoming our ‘yetzer hara’, in other words – overcoming and learning how to control our nature, and, maybe, even trying to change it – which is as difficult as splitting of the see – changing the nature of water. A person has to learn how to forgive. It is very easy to come to a bima and to ask forgiveness from everyone in Shul, just in case you might offended someone, and it’s easy to say that you forgive everybody. But it’s difficult to ask forgiveness from one person, who you hurt, or forgive somebody you didn’t expect could hurt you.
If your wife never contradicts you, doesn’t argue with you, or, for example, you are a stingy person and she is the same way, you might never be able to learn how to control your anger or how to be generous.
So, for you to be able to improve yourself or change certain negative character traits, your wife’s perspectives, opinions, attitude, your behavior should correspond and be somehow opposite to those traits. Then she is a real ‘ezer kenegdecha’ – help that corresponds to what you need to work on in order to overcome your nature, which Hashem sent you, to learn, grow and to build yourself. So, we shouldn’t see difficult relationship as a misfortune, but rather as an opportunity to become better people.
In general, we grow only when we face tests in our lives (May Hashem spare us from very hard tests). It’s not up to us to always win the battles and overcome tests, but it is up to us to want and try.
For those who are looking for Shiduch: Look for person who believes in Hashem, has good midos and right values, with whom you can build family and raise children, and, if you like each other, get married, even if you aren’t sure that he/she is absolutely perfect (100%) match for you. Because what you think should be a absolutely perfect match for you may very well be just opposite to what you really need.
(VERY IMPORTANT:
obviously these idea shouldn’t and must not be used (or better abused) by anybody to intentionally test your spouse or make his/her life more difficult. Only, IF you face difficulties look at them as opportunity to grow.
Also, I heard in one of the recorded Shiurim given by Rav Yisroel Belsky ztz’l that if husband or wife thinks: “ok, I didn’t get perfect husband/wife, but I’m not going to give up, I”ll work on my spouse to change to change him/her” – this can bring disaster. The only one you can change is YOU. Obviously, abusive behavior may not be tolerated. A wife should never tolerate any form of abuse from her husband and should make sure he knows that she won’t tolerate it)
Boruch ben Faivel Malisov.
Beautiful !
The Dvar Torah by Boruch ben Faivel Malisov is really nice !
Sensationalist reporting by Matzav.com
Seriously; you put the Frum Sholom Bayis next to such a sick headline to get people to think it’s a Frum problem? I’m not so naive to think there’s no Frum problem but let’s not make a “worldwide problem” appear to be an exclusively Frum one by running that graphic. It’s a dity move and it’s a chilul HASH-M for people who don’t read the article (understandably, because it’s sickeningly disgusting and shouldn’t be public news).
Ahhh, but how to let Frum people know help is available if it’s takkeh nogeiah them? A good question. An easy answer: skip the pointless and run he ad as an ad.
To all of you: don’t abuse your spouse. It’s rishus and a horrible thing to do.
(See? All done)
And that long long long vort comment??? Seriously.
Don’t abuse posters either
LOL, C. Maaaaaaahhhhhhh, he looked at meeeeeeee.
Shalom Task Force is an anti-Halacha, anti-Yiddishkeit, feminist organization masquerading as a “frum” organization. It promotes secular thoughts, is based on non-Jewish ideas and concepts and promotes the breakup of Jewish families.