Dear Matzav Inbox,
I recently viewed a video clip showing campers at a popular boys’ camp expressing significant distress and crying as they prepared to depart for the end of the season. While I completely understand that camp is a place where wonderful bonds are formed and that it is natural for children to feel a touch of sadness when leaving a cherished environment, I found myself deeply troubled by the intensity of the emotions on display and the role the staff played in shaping them.
It is difficult to escape the conclusion that these precious boys were actively encouraged and perhaps even choreographed by staff members to engage in these heavy, public displays of grief. From a chinuch perspective, I have been reflecting on whether this is truly the message we want to nurture in our children.
Wouldn’t proper chinuch be to gently guide the boys, reminding them that while we had an inspiring and joyful time at camp, it is now time to transition with excitement, grace, and maturity back to their primary focus: their year-round Torah study and their comforting obligations at home?
When we place such heavy, dramatic emphasis on the “loss” of camp, we risk inadvertently framing the rest of the year—and our daily responsibilities—as a disappointing “waiting period” rather than the true, beautiful arena of personal and spiritual growth. Our educational approach should foster emotional resilience, helping children take the warmth and inspiration they found in the summer and channel it lovingly directly into their winter routines, rather than leaving them overwhelmed by unnecessary separation anxiety.
Sincerely,
A Grandmother in Lakewood
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You sign off “a grandmother in lkwd” yet u wright “from a chinuch perspective. What are your credentials? Are you a teacher? Maybe the issue is with the school system that children go to camp and are actually experiencing happiness for the first time.
LOL. BH this is the problem klal yisroel needs to solve. A video viewer ( 1 small clip, mind you) that believes his idea of chinuch was not displayed in one clip of one video of one kid in one camp in one moment in time. BH
Grandmother in Lakewood:
What you describe is a phenomenon that is sweeping the generation. And this is actual golus. There are several features. Let me describe.
Entitlement. Our children have been raised in a world where they are told that they are entitled to everything. They can expect to have every nosh, chachke, toy, device, or clothing that others have. Government programs are there to give them a way to survive without having to lift a finger to work. Madmani y”sh is trying to create dependencies that will completely crush everyone, weaponizing this entitlement.
Entertainment. Many Gedolim have described the need for relaxation, recreation, and having a good time. But this has gone to extremes. Vacations are good, but they are intended to offer the opportunity to regroup and reenergize for the rest of the year. To view school or yeshiva as a way to pass time until next year’s camp is obviously ridiculous. But that’s what we are observing. Yeshiva cannot be recess all day either.
Burdens. We have allowed the daily life of the frum Yid to be viewed as a task. We must wake early, we must daven, we must go to yeshiva/school, we must this or that. No. None of that is appropriate, and our Gedolim have been trying to teach us for generations. Torah life is one of love and passion to be closer to Hashem, and Torah study and fulfilling mitzvos are the means of achieving that dveikus. That’s the real thrill, not the sports, the activities, the games, the competition, or even the wonderful song and dance that often goes on in summer camp. But our homes and yeshivos are not fulfilling their mission to nurture that Ahavas Hashem yielding to too many dynamics that command precedence.
Grandmother: Your point is well taken. But your focus is on a symptom. The underlying issues are far more global, far more serious, and truly daunting. Gedolim of 2 generations ago spoke of our community going the way of gashmiyus life, a me-istic society, and one where Hashem is acknowledged in name only. We are 2 generations later, and we haven’t gotten the message.
There is so much to be agreed with in your well thought out reply to the grandmother!
we need Daas Torah to stop this
So don’t send your kids to that camp if it bothers you.
Respectfully, the letter writer is out of touch with a few things, but none bigger than this:
Those boys feel seen in camp. There they thrive, there they feel like people. Their cry for a loss of camp, is actually a cry for the loss of self.
It’s not the sports, it’s not the schedule. Ask yourself why.
I cannot believe I just wasted my time reading this drivel. You cant fargin that the kids had a good time, some fun, and made some new friends and then feeling sad that they have to say goodbye. There is nothing wrong with being emotional. You really need to seek professional help,
I hear ya! However, if camp developed close bonds filled with אהבת חינם and growth development, certainly children are allowed to be melancholy when this positive experience comes to an end. Anonymous letter writer,you’re not really right on this one.
When will you run out of rants? Have we run out of real problems that you need to come up with new things to oppose on a weekly basis?
They will never run out. There is an endless supply of unhappy people who want something to gripe about.
Dear Grandmother,
This is the reality.It already is a generation-give or take-where our youth have been subtly feminized.In so many ways.Their mothers, aunts, & society collectively, have hitherto treated that till now to be a splendid virtue.Either way,you’re awfully late to the show, & to mope about it now.Choose whether they were correct.
I have been saying for years that all the fluff around camp is way overblown. Years ago when summer camps were in the business of getting less affiliated Jews to become Bnei Torah it made sense to pump up the emotional connection to camp as an associative tool to help the boys long for their time amongst Bnei Torah. Now that camps are merely a summer experience, the emotional bond fostered is just unadulterated marketing. It is a manipulation of our youth to line the pockets of the camp owners.
You’re a crazy person.
What a pathetic killjoy sour grapes I’m glad your not my grandmother
Wrong!!
i for sure cried real tears when camp ended. That meant I was going back home to my abusive parents. why shouldnt i cry?
no its thats your sad to leave your new friend and dont know if you will see them again one day
Despite all whining responses, this grandmother is correct!
I always look at the authors of these letters to be a bunch of phonies. More often than not these are planted letters just to get the reaction of people. I think this is one of them.
The author, if it was even a real person, feels to realize that so so many kids shteig more in growth over this summer when they’re in Camp then during the 10 months of the regular school year. They end up being very relaxed and because of being relaxed they’re able to accomplish more in their learning so that they’re able to get to the next level as opposed to being in the pressure cooker of school.